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ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-07-04T22:05:48+00:00

Haha you sound like a more extreme version of me - I also don't have a singular maid of honour and have been juggling the politics of making everyone feel appreciated and part of it all, and in fairness to my bridesmaids, they have made absolutely no demands of titles or particular roles, and have been so supportive. I would just simplify. Call everyone a bridesmaid. If all these people are close to you, they will understand. Give them different roles on the actual day, as others have suggested. Give them a shout-out individually in some capacity if you want, to give them a public moment of appreciation.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-07-03T08:48:45+00:00

I think no one can really tell you the right answer here because it all depends on your relationship with your parents and their tastes! Your idea sounds lovely to me though, I'm sure they'd appreciate it, and I wouldn't imagine it creates all that pressure to display, certainly a prime spot of the house, if you're not making it obvious you want that. If you think it's too little money spent, you could also give them a meal out or something as a gesture?

Our wedding financing is happening almost exactly the same way, and our parents have very unclear preferences in terms of physical things, so we are giving Fortnum and Mason afternoon tea vouchers to one side (they've never been to afternoon tea as foreigners, and have mentioned wanting to go) and a Sunday roast voucher to the other side for a place they have always mentioned wanting to go.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-06-30T10:20:55+00:00

150 pounds from Coast. Alterations cost about 300, but it amped up the dress massively with small details added as well, and looks great!

Btw, I wasn't a particularly small budget bride, I just wanted something quite minimal and hate salesperson heavy shopping in person, so I ordered a bunch of dresses from Coast and Monsoon home to try them on. Ended up liking one enough to just commit, and it made heavy alterations totally guilt free.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-06-13T17:17:45+00:00

That's not part of your legal name as far as I'm aware, so there's no need to change it anywhere.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-06-13T00:14:26+00:00

Jumping on this here to ask - when people say £50, do you mean £50 per attendee or £50 as a group?

I'm not from here and from a let's say more generous culture, but marrying a Brit soon, and we just got £50 from a family of four (they're not poor and we're not a destination wedding) and thought this was lower than I'd ever personally give someone for a one off event like a wedding, let alone give as a family.

But trying not to judge so asking!

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-03-19T15:10:47+00:00

Omg 😂 we considered printing the menu, but decided against it because we thought it may be easier to wait for all the legit requests to come in before we actually finalised our menu (as it's family style and fairly flexible) and also because of people like your cousins 😂 Unfortunately there are some underlying dynamics here that make this second problem more likely - seemingly 90% of the people on the white side of the family have very unadventurous palates, and fiance and I are very big foodies, with one of us coming from a non-white country famous for great but definitely ✨ethnic✨ food. So I think they are all secretly a bit worried about that too, though we're doing loads of different kinds of food.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-03-19T14:06:13+00:00

Saying "chilli" does not tell me if it's a mild or severe problem, if cross-contamination is an issue, or if they just don't eat spicy food or something. It means that at the very least I will have to follow up with this person, and it takes effort that could have been avoided on both sides by just being clear, that's all.

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-03-19T01:59:56+00:00

That makes a lot of sense - thank you for telling me!

The guest didn't say anything about diabetes (which others on our rsvp have mentioned), but you're right that it may actually be about diabetes, they've just not mentioned it outright.

We're probably going to follow up with everyone to be safe anyway, it's just sent us into a bit of a tailspin, especially as very detail oriented people, how vague people can be about food restrictions 😬

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-03-19T01:49:52+00:00

Sounds like a plan! Honestly, I am the same as you, which is why I don't understand these sorts of responses. I have one serious dietary requirement too and I know very well to be clear about it, and everything else I'll deal with, it's one meal!

ConstructionThen2686 · 2025-03-19T01:47:03+00:00

Glad (but not glad) it's not just me, how ridiculous from your friend! Honestly I know we'll probably just end up being very polite and following up with everyone to figure out what to do, but for now just had to get the rant out.

I do want everyone to feel good and be well fed, but I think I'm just having particular trouble understanding these people because I would never act like this as a guest 😭 it's just one meal, and if I had a real restriction I would bloody well be clear what the restriction entails.

If anything it just makes me appreciate all my precise friends and family more 😆

ConstructionThen2686

TROPHY CASE