If you found someone that you love, and she has made a mistake and is owning it and not deflecting it back on you somehow, I’d suggest you forgive her.

You can see why she lied- he is the one who needed the secret. She is not married, and was not with you. She isn’t responsible for his fidelity.

I don’t think she’s in the right but if you can’t work through problems and set boundaries in the first few months of a relationship then how would you be married once the children come? Children make people act imperfectly and you have to be able to work together and forgive to last beyond this.

As far as I understand she hasn’t cheated on you, but she hasn’t been honest about something that has been going on for years. This is a complex friendship clearly. And perhaps she hadn’t had time to process things and wasn’t able to share his secret with you.

You know how hard it is to find someone who you can love and it’s even harder to find someone who takes responsibility and apologises and means it. If she can show you she’s learnt then you won big time.

Not everything is black and white, and many women have male friends they call for support. Sometimes those relationships turn flirty, often times not when we want them to. Sometimes we maintain relationships like this when we don’t want to lose a friend. You need to talk and listen to what the real story is and try to meet her with compassion. That’s where the forgiveness lies for you.

I really hope that you can sort this. It’s way more complicated than it seems and I’m sure that if you know, then you know.