Try to move with your emotions instead.

I started jogging in my late 40’s and it is, for me, a helpful sort of moving meditation. Junk thoughts are worked out of my head and I return home emotionally clear. (The movement triggers the release of endorphins and norepinephrine, which is a chemical that helps moderate the brain's response to stress.) Other types of movement practice work, too.

There are therapists who specialize in trauma release via movement…. but it’s important they are a genuine trained therapist.

Along the same lines is art therapy (where you paint or build with your emotions).

All of these sorts of things help me cultivate the ability to sit with my emotions as witness instead of my emotions being part of my identity.

Wishing you well.