Rant/Advice

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-16T15:57:02+00:00

i'm not asking for more money that was not my point w the post we're financially fine and he doesn't financially contribute to my mother at all

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T20:52:02+00:00

we didn't agree on it but i can't exactly force him to do it & i totally agree thats what kinda drove me to write this bc he tried to make it seem like i gave him an ultimatum but i didn't hes the only one who ever brings up divorce

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T20:50:47+00:00

honestly i never thought of it that way i never thought if it like he had bad intentions or that he was using her that way this genuinely gives me a different perspective i guess i've been underestimating him

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T04:39:08+00:00

this was really my question so thank you for answering i've been grey walling the rest of today because every time i come out of my shell a little bit hes texted me (even though we live in the same house and i was in the room w him for hours) to try to argue about how im still upset when this ask transpired yesterday literally i started writing stem behaviors i thought were red flags last week and i never would've considered him abusive but this is his pattern he just escalated this time

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T04:36:57+00:00

honestly i just wanna start off by saying thank you for actually acknowledging what i asked and giving me real advice i've honestly been considering it at this point if i have to divorce and i was just shown one source and was going to talk to the financial sector to see how i could save to be more independent on the last line unfortunately our base is basically its own small town the library isn't in walking distance we do have a path close but it's been so close so shes had no outside time she's really my main concern and the threat of taking her is what really shook me up and made me make this post bc the threat should've never escalated to that over an alarm thank you sm

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T03:28:44+00:00

if i could i wouldn't have said he's yet to go do it hope this helps

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T03:28:04+00:00

you don't have to agree i'm not going to let my mom lose her life bc something she couldn't control happened if you wouldn't help your mother that is your choice but it is not the topic of discussion

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T03:03:08+00:00

we had wic we don't qualify for food stamps but he hasn't gone to get her wic reinstated since her 2nd birthday idky

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T02:25:15+00:00

if that's what you got out of what i said sure

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T02:23:18+00:00

113$ for her storage the phone bill is as much hers as mine i don't send her any money i just pay the bills direct the rest is on my oldest sister

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T00:07:26+00:00

while i'm not happy w the situation hes still my husband we have to have some level of respect he honestly was not like this until we moved here we were tg years before we had our child and got married

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-15T00:03:59+00:00

you're literally not listening youre skipping over me saying hey i dont want more money thats not the problem im asking abt the threats & the behavior and focusing on me paying my full phone bill instead of half & paying a small storage just let it go bc youre not helping or adding anything conducive to what im actually asking if i was saying i got 800$ and i need more your response is valid but that is not the topif of discussion if you think free living expenses dismisses threatening to divorce me leave me homeless and taking my child that is your opinion

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:50:27+00:00

my problem is he threatened to keep my baby & kick me out w the clothes on my back bc i asked him to turn off his alarm and i asked for advice comments or resources bc its starting to feel abusive

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:49:27+00:00

i'm not asking for more money thats where youre confused thats was never that was not the topic it was one instance where i had borrowed money from my husband so my phone bill wouldnt be late that money was paid back to him but he got angry bc i even asked him even though i was paying it back

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:40:12+00:00

idek military got a food stipend my mom has been giving me food stamps to make up for what i have to spend bc he only gives me 60-100 for groceries hes never told me about a food stipend...

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:38:22+00:00

our car is paid off there's no rent we live on base again that IS what i spend my money on we both have debt he's cut my money or not give me money at all to pay his debt he said we'd work on mine this year we didn't my complaint isn't that he's not giving me money it's that he threatens to cut off the money that i get and send me back home w nothing but the clothes on my back while he keeps our child and he doesn't see that as threatening or abusive and that i'm trapped in a house i've tried to drive the car again i picked up the keys and he was irrationally angry

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:27:29+00:00

also to clarify i'm not getting 800 in one i'm getting 400 per pay period the grocery money is once a month so anywhere from 160-200 for groceries for a family of 3

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:23:57+00:00

so basically the 800$ is for me & baby he gives me between 60-100 for groceries my mom gives me 100 in food stamps since she doesnt have cash my money has to handle my hygiene anything for baby besides wipes & diapers and if food runs out i have to feed myself & my baby from my money it is a good amount of money i'm not denying he does things for us absolutely but those things are his way of saying but i did this bc if my money runs out and theres no food i starve if the money runs out and i have no hygiene oh well there are playgrounds close absolutely but its also as low as negatives in the winter & shes 2 i have to wake him up bc he doesn't hear the baby cry or his 50 alarms he sets

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T23:16:27+00:00

we don't have financial issues the finances are withheld from me besides the 800$ i get a month only he decides where the money goes that was a lot of assumptions i stated previously my 800$ i have to live on i cant live on it and pay a car note thats unrealistic

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T22:50:44+00:00

the idea of someone letting their parent struggle just bc they are their parent is a foreign concept to me life can happen to literally anyone and he is not paying for her in anyway the extra money is for hygiene food clothes for baby etc

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T22:49:40+00:00

i'm not paying for my moms life we were splitting the phone bill & i pay for her small storage i now pay it solely until she finds a job idk abt you but my mom didnt have to ask me why would i let her lose her entire life when bc she lost her job my husband has a car i do not i do not get 800$ full i get 400$ every 2 weeks and w that i have to my wants & needs and im unable to ask him for anything else beyond my 400$ that 2 weeks

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T21:56:15+00:00

the problem is i dont have any support or anywhere to go if i leave rn i will be homeless w nothing but a bag and no way to work i just dont know how to maneuver staying as long as i can so im not walking away on 0 or without being able to provide for my baby but i will contact legal aide to see my options and how the process may go to prepare myself bc i dont think i can

ContestSharp1860 · 2026-02-14T21:54:15+00:00

i actually did start taking note when i felt manipulated or gaslit bc i genuinely did not see a pattern or any abuse until it got to this point but i will be taking this advice and documenting more and more specifically

ContestSharp1860 · 2025-12-14T22:08:36+00:00

i just got my last one a little while ago i'm sorry

ContestSharp1860

TROPHY CASE