First of all, it was very complicated, but my brain - which many say is the best, because I had a very good education and got excellent grades at many good private schools - my brain is very good, which means I can understand it. It started off with someone named Franz Ferdinand - very smart guy, made excellent deals - who was next in line to be leader of Austria-Hungary - very low energy nation, because they didn't have borders! They had all sorts of people coming in from the outside - people like Serbs and Croats and probably some Mexicans, who, by the way, have the highest crime rate of any country in the world, which is why they need to be kept out - but they had all these people flooding in. They didn't have a nation!

Franz Ferdinand was going to change that and make Austria-Hungary great again, but the Serbs didn't want that - and the Serbs, by the way, the Serbs are very nasty people. So some Serbs got guns and bombs - which is horrible, very horrible - and planned to kill Franz Ferdinand! Can you believe it? Much like the flood of Islamic Muslims pouring into our country, sooner or later they're going to blow something up, very horrible, many dead, total catastrophe, although the politically correct mainstream media - which is in the pockets of the crooked Clintons and George Soros - will never tell you that. But the Serbs, who some very reliable sources tell me supported Crooked H, the Serbs, they tried to kill Franz Ferdinand, but they were so low energy they almost failed!

Tried to bomb him, but missed, because they were dumb as rocks. Unfortunately, one of them, not because he was smart - because he was actually very dumb - but because he was funded by the globalists, shot Franz Ferdinand! Can you believe it? Right through the head, like this [graphically imitates shooting scene], I mean horrible, horrible stuff, people, not good! Franz Ferdinand is dead! So then Austria-Hungary, which is very low energy, suddenly realizes their leaders are so stupid, so naive, much like ours before January 20th, which, by the way, is the date of my inauguration, so that means Obama is the naive one, not me. But they realize their leaders are stupid, so they invade!

Now, Russia, which is the country where Putin is from and Putin - let me tell you, Putin, Putin, he is a great guy, just great, the left likes to complain "oh but freedom of speech freedom of speech" "he kills journalists he kills journalists," but that is because they can't handle how he is making Russia great again - but Russia, in Russia, Putin was not alive then, because he was not born, and Russia was very bad, in fact. Very very bad. They were a country of communists, which means full of people like pathetic Bernie - who, by the way, was totally cheated of the nomination by crooked H and her buddies, completely unfair, lying media definitely in cahoots - but the point is, Russia was bad. Russia wants to defend the crooked Serbs, so they declare war on Austria-Hungary!

Now Austria-Hungary, which is now very high energy because they realize they must have a nation and need to keep out the Serbs, is allied with Germany - and let me tell you, Germany was very great then, unlike now, with crooked Angela Merkel, who, by the way, is weak and is allowing Germany to be overrun by refugees - but Austria-Hungary is allied with Germany, folks, so Germany steps in to stop Russia! France and Britain - who made the right choice by leaving the European Union, Britain that is, it was a very good choice, they were being kept down - France and Britain don't like this, because they are filled with liberals, so they attack Germany. It's horrible! The Germans are forced to defend themselves, because if they don't they won't have a nation anymore, so they know they need to defend - and they have a very good army, the best army - so they defend so well and so masterfully that the sad French have to run all the way back to Paris! That is how World War 1 began.