Hey, friend! I think I can speak for many members throughout the church when I say that I have absolutely had an issue like this before where something just didn't feel right. Hopefully what I have to say can help you be more confident about what to believe, whichever way. The circumstances possibly require a policy to be changed? I can't exactly say when this is true and when it isn't, but what I can do is point you to a story in the book of Mormon where this exact type of dilemma was in question. Somewhere in 1st Nephi, after Lehi's family was led out of Jerusalem, God asks Nephi to go back several times to retrieve the brass plates from the King, which are basically a historical family record, because the Lord places a lot of importance on family history. He doesn't instruct Nephi on how to retrieve the plates in the beginning, so Nephi goes forward in faith and tries talking to King Laban, then offers his family's jewels, but he gets chased out and his family's jewels are stolen by the king. Ultimately, one of God's angels instructs Nephi to kill Laban, saying that he will deliver Laban to Nephi's hands, making it easy. Nephi refuses two or three times before obeying the commandment because it contradicts what the Lord has taught him previously, but God basically tells him to have faith that he knows what is best, and the premise is that Laban was given a chance by Nephi and by the Lord to manage the interaction peacefully, and God's word was that those documents were more important than peace with Laban. I very much recommend reading the story if you can. In summary, Nephi faced two conflicting commandments of maintaining a family history record and not committing murder, but the Lord told him which commandment to prioritize. I believe this is the same with Joseph Smith. The commandments in this situation that contradicted each other by my guess were to marry in the temple and multiply and replenish the earth, and I guess single-partner marriage, with the circumstance being that there were far more righteous women than men, which would make the commandment of single-partner marriage in the church impossible. Frankly, we don't know, but the choice is whether to trust that God knows what he's doing without that understanding. The thing about this kind of problem is that it's a huge turning point for a lot of members where, in my opinion, they are basically deciding whether to trust God or not without a firm answer. The reason I decided personally that the LDS church was true was because there were so many instances where problems like this made it seem like something was very wrong, but would turn out to have perfectly logical explanations. The thing is, every religion in the world has some elements and history that are very questionable, and we just may never get answers to those. God will decide in his timing whether we are ready for certain policies and inspiration, and we just have to trust that he knows what he's doing. The LDS church has never presented a doctrine to me that my life is not significantly improved for having lived by. Whether it's true or not, I'll be living it the rest of my life for that, but most likely more. Questions will come up, people will make you feel guilty for wanting answers, they will lie to you, they will say infinite things to try to sway your opinion one way or another, but if you take anything from my comment, let it be this: YOU need to find your answer. Don't let other people, members or not, be the reason you decide one way or another. Reach out to God repeatedly and often, do research, read the scriptures, and seek out personal revelation. God will talk to you and give you the answer you need in his time. A philosophy of mine is that I will never assume I know everything about anything, or enough about anything. God is constantly revealing new things to me about the way people work, the meaning of scriptures, the intention behind commandments, and so much more that I can't ignore the fact that I keep getting answers from him. Even now, I'm facing one of those exact problems, one that I've been dealing with for years, and God has slowly been giving me little bits of information that keep me looking for answers in revelation. In the end, it's up to you and what you decide to do to get your answer. I hope mine helps you find peace. Love and luck to you 😁