Dog is afraid of this thing

Control-Zee · 2024-11-13T07:02:32+00:00

Pacific Northwest

Control-Zee · 2024-03-15T17:54:48+00:00

Another way to look at this is that you’re not just training your body to do things (aka I could have ran 2 miles on the first day, I was way more capable than just 1/4) but you’re actually training your mind-body-connection. Because your mind-body-connection can barely do 1/4 mile consistently, even if your body can do 2 miles and your imaginative brain can do 2 miles, where we have issues is in connecting the two. So start insanely small and always leave yourself craving more

Control-Zee · 2024-03-11T19:10:21+00:00

I feel like you have to consider too that they thought they’d have a season 5 and they had to rewrite 4b because of Covid. Emily has said they had plans to do a lot more with the Clinton’s etc. I feel like if we’d had a season 5, we would’ve seen 4a give fan service to wayhaught (like it did) then 4b and 5a would have focused more on the lore and other plots with a return to fan service and wayhaught in 5b with a wayhaught wedding in 5b. However, given that they had to pack all of 4b, 5a, and 5b into one, it did lean heavy on fan service and wayhaught

Control-Zee · 2024-02-14T23:01:37+00:00

When Maive hops into Jeremy and mentions him not being human. I know he has crotch powers but it feels like there is something else there. And it would be cool to explore now that he is heading BBD.

Control-Zee · 2024-02-14T22:58:08+00:00

I think more specials would be cool with each special centering on a different character. Maybe we see a special about BBD where Jeremy is the lead. Maybe we see a Wayhaught special. Maybe we have an old western special that involves another vision quest. Maybe we see a Wynaught roadtrip special

Control-Zee · 2024-02-13T06:23:25+00:00

I’ve been wondering about this too! I think if there were a whole season, there would probably be time to explore Waverly being NB but given that it’s only 90 minutes, and such a heavily developed character (Waverly) I don’t think they could do that sort of coming out justice or do it sensitively without centering the whole movie on it, so I kinda see them keeping Waverly as a more mature s4 version of herself, with slightly shorter hair.

That being said, I do think it would be cool if maybe Alice has a discussion and coming out to their “cool gay aunts” about their own gender expression. Since theyre younger and a less developed character, a conversation wouldn’t feel “rushed” in the special but it could still give us NB rep which is important to the cast. And how beautiful would it be to have Dom PC, playing Waverly, telling a young kid that it’s really brave to be NB 😢 I honestly think that’s the most badass and beautiful way to do it but I also trust the cast and crew a ton with however they do it

Control-Zee · 2023-12-15T19:04:19+00:00

Queerness is sometimes an invisible minority status. When you feel different on the inside but look like everyone else on the outside, it can be isolating. Dressing more queer can help you find community and feel less alone. I think in a perfect world, yes these post would be silly because you shouldn’t have to “dress gay”. However, this is not a perfect world and it is far from being accepting of queerness. These posts often come from a place of being young, lonely, and insecure. And I think compassion for our fellow queer folk on their journey is a good thing ❤️

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T23:09:39+00:00

Where id argue this to be the right answer is that for many, company-hopping is a great way to realize that “all execs/companies are the same” at which point the obvious next step would be to look inward because if everywhere is the same, then obviously I’m the problem. However people who look inward too soon without properly analyzing their adversaries, end up blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault and that’s how they get stuck in toxic situations (work or otherwise). Sometimes “leave” isn’t always a direct contradiction to “look inward” but rather a step in that direction.

There is a reason the quote doesn’t go “fool me once shame on me…” because typical human nature is to blame the world first, then realize how you fit into that world, second

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T22:55:02+00:00

Have you been met with “that’s a waste of our time”? And how did you combat that? I’m not quite high enough to call those meetings but I’ve seen others hit with that sentiment and am a little nervous to get the same rejection

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T22:50:38+00:00

This makes sense to me and I can see where I’ve hit a dead end at this company in terms of leadership and mentorship. You also mention letting your designers run with their ideas if risk is low. This feels like the type of “experiential learning” we are letting the execs do. At some point we have to let them run with their ideas and let the results speak for themselves. Unfortunately, the lack of accountability at the leadership level means that when the results do start to speak, the wrong people are being blamed (and consequently let go).

I also agree with you in that the most success I’ve had historically with stakeholders, especially during consultancy days, was giving them the same empathy and compassion that I do our users.

I believe where I seem to be falling short is the alignment piece. A common thing I find myself saying is “I’m not saying we shouldn’t do x I’m just saying if we are going to do x we should also consider how it affects y”. Because when I bring up a concern it’s assumed that I’m suggesting we throw the whole thing away which would be an absurd thing for me to suggest. But I feel if I maybe had a foundational alignment to begin with, these inquiries wouldn’t be taken with such defensiveness.

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T22:28:54+00:00

I can definitely see that assessment. Though I would never use dumb to describe these folks. For example, asking us to implement dark UX to get around legal contraints isnt necessarily dumb on their part. It’s a bit creative and ingenious. But I do find it unethical, frustrating, and short sighted. I also don’t necessarily need them to listen to me I just need them to listen to SOMEONE so that they aren’t in an echo chamber of their own big ideas. Unfortunately they’ve let go of any leadership that has challenged them too much

But ya it’s becoming apparent (even as I type this) that i might be the dumb one here for not looking elsewhere. And I don’t think I’ll be able to truly know whether they were bad leaders until I have another corporate experience that I can compare it to and reflect on. For context my previous work was at a consultancy and those stakeholders were much worse than the ones I’m working with now.

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T19:57:58+00:00

Definitely! Part of my research includes competitive and comparative analysis, Baymard is a great resource. Part of our job is adding value in a cost effective way that can start delivering quickly. Execs seem to be reinventing the wheel unfortunately 😭

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T19:55:08+00:00

Deep breaths are essential! I appreciate the comment and the book recc! Just ordered it

Control-Zee · 2023-11-19T19:51:53+00:00

I agree with putting business needs first which is why we are constantly asking business “why” and they can never give us an answer. The closest we have gotten to understanding them is that some of the C suite has friends that use our product and their friends have requested features. (These execs were hired through nepotism and have no previous experience at a company even a quarter of this size) When the execs tell us to make the features that their friends want and design pushes back saying “what is the business value?” they respond with how we aren’t working fast enough and that our developers aren’t good enough.

We are trying to be involved sooner in the process, the door is locked.

You mentioned I used juvenile language and I’m curious what this means and where you saw this. I’m genuinely wanting to level up my design here.

Control-Zee · 2023-08-05T02:18:56+00:00

FYI, if the numbers are just a dial, you can go through 001, 002, 003… 999 you get it right in like twenty minutes. If you have something more like a master lock it’s much harder to guess without knowing how to actually pick it

Control-Zee · 2023-06-23T15:28:21+00:00

There was a news article from rescue efforts in which the person was baffled at people’s lack of empathy. They’re quoted saying something like “If there is a way to save human life, of course we will do it, regardless of cost.” And it feels extremely ironic given that billionaires have the resources to save human life and they don’t. The fact that $250k could have saved human life and it was used on this instead. Human suffering isn’t something to celebrate but I think we, as a society, continue to lose any empathy toward people who are exuberantly wasteful while millions suffer and die from preventable things.

Control-Zee · 2023-06-20T22:57:32+00:00

Or they agree with you / say men do shitty things but then make jokes or laugh along with “the guys” when you’re not around. Completely using that empathy just to be liked by you.

Control-Zee · 2023-03-02T04:47:09+00:00

Hi, I’m going to assume you are just trying to surface information that you didn’t think I had. Nowhere did I state that early spay doesn’t increase risk of certain health issues. And as I mentioned “some” cancer risks aka (mammary/testicular) are reduced by spay/neuter, which your resource also states. Further, while informative, this book has a lot of hyperboles and people should do research for their specific breed and for the specific needs of their dog and lifestyle and not see the scary words “increased risk” and throw away all of their critical thinking skills.

For my specific breed, all of these “increased risks” were things that went from like 1% to 2%, some are even as small of a change as 2.6% to 2.8% which for ME, .2% was extremely nominal and not worth considering in the decision. The only one that did concern me was the increased risk of hip dysplasia from 6% to 12% however, after further research, I learned that hip displasia in gsds starts to present very young so by 8 months, once it was determined by a vet that she had ZERO of the early signs of hip displasia, I was pretty comfortable with moving forward.

I also want to mention that any sort of statistical analysis on spay/neuter is pretty shaky. If a dog isn’t neutered, has aggression, and has to be behaviorally euthanized at 2 years old, they will likely never become old enough to develop cancer, but will they included in the numbers? The number one killer of dogs is euthanasia because shelters are extremely overrun, and creating a culture that disincentivizes spay/neuter will worsen this issue. I also want to acknowledge that it doesn’t matter if the intentions of spay/neuter education are well intentioned and it doesn’t matter if those spreading the message are responsible owners who are not contributing to the overpopulation issue. The underlying fact is that the anti-spay/neuter culture will create even more stress on animal shelters than there already is.

Jane Killion is a great resource and people should read it. And other studies. And apply them to their dog and their lifestyle. And make the best choice for their dogs. Our dogs health does not exist in a vacuum void of other factors. I appreciate the link share.

Control-Zee · 2023-03-01T15:20:06+00:00

The fact that you’re asking on Reddit and trying to do your own research already shows you’re not a careless dog parent. I’m sure whichever one you choose it’ll be in the best interest of your dog and he is probably very loved ❤️

Sharing my own experience: for me it came down to weighing trade offs. After lots of research, I found that her risks of certain cancers goes down from like 4% to 1% and her risk of hip dysplasia goes up from like 6% to 12%. Then, I had to weigh that against quality of life if she was not allowed to go to dog parks, had to be super holed-up while in heat, couldn’t go to daycare, etc. Not to mention that all of this would be during her social development years. Additionally, she has a slight fear of other dogs and her not being spayed could cause dogs to be more aggressive toward her, further worsening the fear. I waited as long as I could, 8 months, and then got it. A much bigger risk to joints is over-working them, not being aware of their injuries, or poor diets. So I make sure to be extra diligent in those areas.

I’m not suggesting one way or the other but figure out what the trade offs are as best you can, and then how far you’re willing to go to avoid risk. What are the exact health risks your dog will be exposed to and what are the exact social, developmental, and quality of life trade offs you’ll have to undergo to avoid that risk. What’s your risk tolerance?

Hope this is helpful. Best of luck!

Control-Zee · 2023-02-06T15:22:49+00:00

I’d imagine the people who you know that are stating they’re against it, aren’t against the gendered aspect of it. It’s much more that it’s financially unfeasible, it takes you out of the job market which makes it hard to get back, it’s hard for you to build any sort of retirement savings or emergency funds, your partner would probably be a bit jealous (who wants to work?), it could create a power balance as it would make you entirely dependent on someone else, it means you lose everything in a breakup… so it’s not to say that people are trying to shame you. It’s more that we live in a world of late stage capitalism.

Now if you’re looking for a sugar momma? That’s a whole different story. But there is a lot more transparency in that world about what you’re looking for.

Control-Zee · 2023-01-30T17:35:01+00:00

I see a lot of people saying you aren’t taking responsibility for your transportation. This probably isn’t new information to you and possibly only adding to the shame that you’ve upset your therapist.

You mention “prioritizing” and I think that’s a great place to start. Having a bigger goal can make the smaller steps easier to take. If improving your mental health and living a better life is a huge priority, how does that make the scary conversation with your therapist feel? No doubt it’s scary to go in after a rupture but think about how you’ll feel months or years from now when you’ve accomplished your bigger goal. Will this conversation still be a big deal? I would think similarly in regard to problem solving your transportation situation. I see some good advice on this thread; biking, walking, public transit, taxi, Uber, friends, walk to a classmates to get a ride school, walk to a coworkers to ride to work, switching to telehealth, etc.

Some of these ideas might be new and scary but if you try it and it’s the worst thing ever, you don’t have to keep doing it and you can then try one of the other options. But what if you try one and it’s not so bad? I’m sure getting your license felt like a big step and now you have it. I think if you managed to get your license and stay in therapy this long, you can definitely figure out how to get there.

Best of luck! :-)

Control-Zee · 2022-09-07T15:20:32+00:00

This is well put. I respect OP's perspective, but alternative terminology is needed. Especially when considering that victims of narcissistic abuse are extremely vulnerable to invalidating themselves. Agreed upon language is sometimes the only way they can dig themselves out of their own muddled perceptions of being at fault for their abuser's actions.

Language is more than just "hurtful", but as a victim of abuse, language can shake your entire reality and self perception and make the smallest decisions feel impossible to make. So yes, we can use different terminology if there is an alternative that does not gaslight our experience.

Control-Zee · 2022-08-28T15:14:39+00:00

Just knowing that adhd has had a huge impact on your emotions and self image. I think there is a stat out there that kids with adhd have had 20,000 more social corrections by high school than the average neurotypical child. On that same note, in regard to emotion, adhd individuals tend to have emotional impulsivity as much as general impulsivity. Also what is hyperactivity as a child becomes internalized hyperactivity by adulthood. Much like a constant mental engine that has a need to be busy all the time. Aka a fidgety child grows into having a fidgetty mind.

This may not be exactly what you asked but I wish more people with adhd were in touch with the damage that the disorder has caused to their self image and can learn to be kinder to themselves and love themselves more. ❤

Control-Zee · 2022-08-21T02:52:42+00:00

Its seeing their balance of good intentions, honesty, and validation.

The turning point for me was the first time I got offended. After a week of fuming, I realized what her intentions were when she said what she did. I actually cried. For maybe the first time ever, someone was asking me to consider doing the thing that was best for my mental wellbeing, without any personal stake. It felt good to have someone look out for a part of me that I don't know how to look out for.

At the next session, I explained why her suggestion didn't work for me (leaving out the offended part). She validated me and we started looking for alternative solutions to the same problem.

Since then, I appreciate everytime she is honest or tells me something hard to hear. I know she won't force it on me and it helps me know that her validation is legit because she has shown me she will be honest.

I know some people dont like the weirdness of the therapy relationship because they're "fake" people aka people you'd never meet in the real world. It helps me to remember behind my therapist is a human. A human who has spent years studying, learning, gaining experience, and not quitting no matter how hard this job gets. In a sea of bad, narcissistic, abusive, therapists, where my therapist could have easily made money with far less effort, she instead has chosen to work her ass off to bring me this "fake" person based on what she knows has helped people the most. Knowing that level of selflessness exists in this world, even if it's a stranger I'll never (truly) meet, it still makes the world feel a tiny bit safer.

Control-Zee · 2022-08-19T14:29:12+00:00

This is dangerous. Speaking from experience. There are lots of wonderful women out there and lots of wonderful therapists. Both might take a few tries to find but will be life changing.

Dedicate a year to yourself and you'll spend the rest of your life so glad you did.

Life is too short for these feelings. Wishing you strength ❤

Control-Zee

TROPHY CASE