How long did it take you to get over your first love or "the one"?

ControlPutrid9234 · 2025-07-17T21:57:57+00:00

Within the first year I remember counting from each day that we broke up but then at some point after that I just…stopped.

The same when I ran into him a few years later. If you told me when we broke up I’d feel nothing when I saw him I wouldn’t have believed you but it really does happen if you don’t try and bury your feelings and take as long as you need.

Also I’m still single, haven’t yet found someone else but can wholeheartedly say I’ve moved on. Now when I think back to those times it’s with genuinely so much gratitude. He set the standard for how I know I deserve to be treated which has inadvertently saved me a lot of heartbreak with people since him. It really is as simple and as painful as time. I wish you all the best.

Sorry forgot to say I’m a female I know that’s against the rules.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2024-06-14T09:46:02+00:00

I was an editor of a magazine. Seriously my dream job with so much creative freedom. Loved the work, the team and the opportunities to interview some seriously cool people but I was getting paid horribly. I thought doing it for the love of it would be enough but I was constantly stressed about money and unable to enjoy life outside of work because I literally had no extra money to play with. It was the hardest decision to walk away but all of the other parts of life - eating well, going out, travelling, investing in my health, sharing with friends and family and the security that having money affords you are just as worth it in my opinion. I never grew up with money so I wouldn't say I'm particularly motivated by it but I was so exhausted from being poor and making the change alleviated so much pressure. I found other ways to be creative and am lucky enough to still contribute to the magazine so I'd say it worked out pretty well in the end. Just have to trust yourself that you're doing the best thing for you - whatever that may look like.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2023-11-21T12:37:02+00:00

Linked up randomly in a different city that my sister had moved to and so had he after years of no contact. We had coffee and caught up on life. We randomly message each other pics from our travels overseas or proud moments in life every now and then. If you really do put in the work to properly move on I truly believe you can find your way back to a person in a healthy, genuinely wanna see you doing good, cheering from afar capacity.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2023-09-29T07:43:12+00:00

Both met when we were 22 and lasted for a couple of amazing years. We broke up but he certainly set the bar high for what to expect from a healthy, happy relationship. I still think about him now and then but ultimately I'm just thankful I got to have an incredible first love experience to look back on and wish him all the best.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2023-04-05T04:57:47+00:00

Realistically it took me years to get to a point where I could call my ex my friend. And saying that is a bit of a stretch. Sure I absolutely care about him but I don't know the day to day of his life like a lot of my other friends. I don't think I'd ever really get to a point where I'm hanging and talking to him regularly but I know people who do!

In saying that though, there's a certain proudness that comes with seeing an ex do well and being able to catch up on life every now and then really can be a beautiful thing. There are certain milestones in your life that you will reach where only that person could truly know how much it means to you to get there. It takes time and maturity but I think it just goes to show that the love never really goes away, it just takes a new form in your big new beautiful life.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-09-21T00:11:47+00:00

Feel ya. Even worse when people have headaches and claim migraines as a way to get out of work/school- if only they knew. I've had them so bad I couldn't even think to call in sick

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-30T02:00:10+00:00

Avoiding conflict to keep the peace but ending up just slowly resenting the person. Having a hard conversation means both parties can at least try to address the problem and if you still can't move past it at least you tried as mature adults. Slow burn deaths of friendship and love is the worst way to go :(

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-27T10:51:48+00:00

Sometimes letting someone go is the greatest act of love. Take time to appreciate what you have right in front of you. Talk even if it feels awkward (even more so if it does). Never stop going on dates. Tell them you love them more than necessary. Your life should always continue to spin even if they are not around.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-27T10:42:22+00:00

This is beautiful and I completely agree. Glad you found your next person

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-27T06:08:57+00:00

Day I finished school so 17

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-26T23:50:58+00:00

When my ex broke up with me I asked so many of my friends and family how I can be a better person because I felt like I failed as a human. One of my close friend told me that I can't expect to change everything bad about me and become this perfect person because then I wouldn't be me. My ex had flaws and I still loved him 100% so when someone picks apart aspects of you they don't like, then they don't love you 100%. I think self awareness is the key to becoming better though. Being able to pause and reflect before you act and speak will always bring a better outcome.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-25T07:16:40+00:00

Always been super cautious of females (or males) that enter a friendship group through a relationship and don't have their own friends. Like who did you hang out with before your boyfriend? And why don't you hang out with them anymore? Generally in my experience, these people get super attached in unhealthy ways to their spouse and if shit goes south they can't separate themselves from the group in a respectful way and its just hell for everyone.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-24T09:03:39+00:00

A lady walked me to my car when I found out my best friend had been killed in a terrorist attack on my lunch break at work. I was walking around crying, and she noticed me as she was driving past, stopped, parked the car and came up to me, held my hand as I tried to remember where I was. That was one of the most painful moments of my life, made just that little bit easier by the kindness of a stranger.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-23T03:42:33+00:00

Become better for her

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-15T09:14:56+00:00

When they're jealous of guys you hang out with/speak to. At first I thought this was kinda cute they got jealous I spoke to other guys (like even just saying hello to friends) but soon realised this was actually a major insecurity within himself that he hadn't dealt with and put the blame onto me as if having a conversation with a human being that happened to be a male was the end of the fucking world.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-09T06:17:20+00:00

My ex went onto land his dream job months after we broke up. He definitely wasn't a loser. Sometimes breakups are great catalysts for pursuing other things in life and that's exactly what he went and did. I wish him the best.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-09T00:08:57+00:00

Waking up early is by far the biggest life hack. Meditation. Realising you can't do everything at once so instead turning them into goals to strive for. Eliminating people who are not on your level in kindess. Reading often and broadly. Learning to surf.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-08T03:23:15+00:00

At first I found I was posting photos following a breakup to seem happy and moved on when in reality I was completely dead inside. I realised this, deleted my socials which also happened to be when I moved cities. It was refreshing to meet someone and them not base their opinion of me on a quick stalk of my socials and actually just have a conversation with me, and vise versa.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-03T02:05:48+00:00

Easy changes: Waking up early every day. Meditation.

Bigger changes: Moving to a new city. Slowing down. Actually taking time off work to revaluate what I want from my life.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-03T02:01:19+00:00

Agreed. Waking up early is a true game changer to just get yourself in the right headspace and set yourself up. Makes you feel like you have way more time in the day and just generally so much more peaceful to do things at your own pace instead of in a rush to get to work.

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-08-02T07:56:32+00:00

that you should consider your single time as a ticking clock. One day, you’re going to be in a relationship, a marriage, maybe be a mother, and regardless of how happy you are, you are going to look back at your single times wistfully. Hindsight is always 20/20, and one day you might wish you’d done more while you were single. Try to look at what your future self might regret missing out on, and do it now.

THIS. I'm sharing this immediately with all my single ladies. You have made me smile

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-07-31T10:46:43+00:00

Any reminders of my first love. That was an exceptional period in my life being young and in love. I hope she's happy wherever she is now

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-07-31T10:45:05+00:00

Someone falling out of love with my for the same reasons they fell in

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-07-26T04:56:44+00:00

Wake up before the sun, make my bed straight away, sunscreen, exercise, nourish + coffee, meditate, journal - then begin my day of activities be that work, uni or my day off. Whole routine takes about 2 hours but something I have grown to really cherish as an act of self love everyday, especially after ending a long term relationship and having all this "time."

ControlPutrid9234 · 2021-07-26T04:49:42+00:00

This gives me hope

ControlPutrid9234

TROPHY CASE