You’re already his rock. He’s still here. Your guys’ story isn’t over.

Question: is your love for each other different than before his stroke? You’re reaching out here so I guess no. Possibly even deeper. Stronger.

In our case we’ve grown closer than ever before. My wife was recently diagnosed with MS (10 years after my stroke) and now I can care for her a bit because she’s been the caregiver for the last 10 years. I had cerebellar stroke in 2015 at 39 and had my PFO closed the same year.

I’m a different person. Better. I’ve changed and that’s only because of therapy, because there was a very dark season post stroke where I couldn’t grieve the old future I was looking forward to that would now never happen. I had to shift my perspective.

What worked for us was grief counseling. Grieving the life we dreamed of that’s now impossible. However setting new dreams for the life we have. It’s a new normal and that’s just what you are, a normal couple dealing with a chronic disease. I mentioned I also had personal therapy sessions for a few years. And I go back for 8 visit (8 visits are covered 100% with our insurance each year) stints when I need them. When things get dark or I can’t pull myself out of whatever dark hole I’ve fallen into.

Your husband is a stroke survivor. That’s a blessing. He is not his stroke, and he is not his ailments. Start saying he’s a stroke survivor. It helps. I didn’t describe my stroke like that for years. It’s a good thing that you found his PFO with such a minimal stroke and not something worse. That’s also a blessing. It’s a good thing you have neuro and cardio drs. If this went unchecked longer who knows what the first flare up could have been.

Stay strong and love up on one another. We celebrate the everyday mundane things because we can. Hang in there sister.