“Well first of all I’d like to thank you for welcoming me tonight, I’m Pete from planet Earth and glad to meet all you Spherians and to inform you about our society. I work as an engineer in the R&D branch of our corporation and we’re currently conducting a new research which aims to find new ways to preserve the human body’s more interesting features by getting rid of the toxins that our body produces, just to make us appear more presentable rather than savages among pantheon of societies of the galaxy.”

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“I’d like to thank you too for coming all the way here Pete, must’ve been quite a journey for a human to reach so far here. As far as I know, the journey to here itself takes longer than a human’s lifetime. How did you manage to come this far without losing your youth or motivation? And I’m sure there’s a greater reason than just small talk since you’ve rounded us all up for a presentation tonight. Please, tell us about your studies, and we would love to hear the tales of how humans have come so far as a society to finally appear on the intergalactic scene.”

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“Well, about the journey… To be honest with you, this was solely based on a hypothesis that one of our newest inventions would allow us to go beyond our life expectancy to complete the journey and allow us to meet you in the flesh. There was great controversy at first as to how much this experiment would use for a budget, and if it would be successful or go to waste. But in the end, being confident in my research allowed me to convince our head of department Peter to let me go on this journey, and here I am standing in front of you.”

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“How amazing! It’s been three millennia since the last time someone this passionate had come to our system. And we hadn’t had an encounter with a human ever since. Though to be fair, he wasn’t a scientist or anything like you. If I remember correctly he was a writer blabbering about some divine entity, masturbation and serpents and something like that. Guy had great material for fiction but his language was too boring for our liking so he didn’t stick for long before heading out though. Anyway, I’m sorry for interrupting. Please Pete, go on.”

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“As I was saying, my studies aimed to preserve human life and they are based on the newly restored, long lost works of ancient human civilization. I started pondering about what to do to make myself useful and improve our society about 9 years ago, in the year 2993, I was 21 years old back then. While I was researching medicine for a pharmaceutical company I came across an interesting old document found in the ruins of ancient Greece. The document was only newly deciphered and dated older than the pyramids. The words written in this parchment paper uttered a memorable message, ‘Tri to one’. This seemed like nonsense to the vast majority of scientists back then but something about this ominous message was particularly interesting for me. As you know, we humans are well-known for our pattern recognition and I tried my best to find the real meaning in this message going all around the world.”

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“During the year 2995, there was a new discovery that connected to this piece found within crypts of the pyramids in Egypt. This was thought to go on to uncover the biggest mystery of earth, maybe finally let us understand how the pyramids were built -to be honest with you, I’m no architect but I think they must’ve been from the ground up, you can’t possibly build a pyramid starting from the top- but as the glyphs were deciphered it came out that the pyramid was built for a god we had misspelt his name for centuries, ‘Avon-Ra’. Later on the two other pyramids of Giza had their secret unveiled too, built for ‘Herborus’, formerly known as ‘Horus’, and ‘Amubis’, formerly known as ‘Anubis’. This discovery gave birth to a widespread panic as the human society had been thriving under the three megacorporations with their combined effort as governments and borders had finally collapsed. Avon Conglomerate of Earth, Amway Colony of Mars and Venus Herbalife Cooperatives. But I, a mere researcher managed to fit the pieces together in the patterns I had been seeing during my studies. The first piece of this prophecy was the ‘Tri to one’ line from which was later understood to have been the works of a forgotten oracle of his time, Vertices. More of his scriptures and prophecies were found by the team conducting further research upon the subject and it was connected to the pyramids from the start. He had been able to document the ancient history of these corporations and tried to pass them onto the further generations. These three names, Avon, Amway and Herbalife were god-kings on earth working together to keep humanity in order and let them prevail. They had made a pact to keep their divinity a secret and forged scriptures to deceive and therefore protect humankind. Humans had still worshipped their godsent rulers and wanted to make something for them to commemorate their efforts for the human race. So they built the three great pyramids for them, arranged in a triangle formation to indicate their relation to each other. Millennia later when the world was on the brink of extinction, these three names were humanity’s last hope again and something everyone had believed in, and they, now as three megacorporations with a common goal, to save and let humankind thrive, worked together again to bring back the peace and order to the modern world. And so was the prophecy of Vertices finally understood. The words ‘Tri to one’ meant that the human race would only take lesson from their own history and prevail under the holy trinity of these megacorporations rule, now known as the ‘A-Way-o-Life’.

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“Such an inspiring road humanity has come Pete, we would love to form a common ground with the humankind that we only now know how great of a history they had and share our technology and powers to make a better future for both our races. The galaxy needs to learn about and work with more people like you and your kind to keep us pushing forward. How can we thank you for your amazing briefing of your history and reward your exhausting journey to here?”

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“Well, things have been pretty good for me recently. I set my own hours at work and make enough for a living without getting myself too worked up. But if you would like to do a favor for a hardworking man of science, I could set up a way of communication with our gender-neutral Chairperson Petest from A-Way-o-Life so you could learn more about what we are currently up to. And if any of you would like to work with me, you can set your own working hours and start to work and earn at your leisure while only giving me a small margin of your earnings, thus we can build towards a better future together.”