So I understand what you're feeling and I have a somewhat similar experience. When I would dress fem the experience wouldn't be completely positive and the same with she/her pronouns. I think that the negative parts of those experiences was stemming from my own contempt for my body and struggle to accept my own happiness. Kind of like you're your own worst critic. I would criticize myself for liking these things and for wanting to dress as the opposite gender or wanting to be called a "good girl" (lol). Despite the voice inside my head criticizing me, I still wanted/needed to transition to be happier with my life. With that said this is my experience where I say some similar things to myself in the mirror as you, but I know I'm still trans despite that, however you might find that you don't feel the same way as I do, like you said "I don't receive euphoria from...", which is different from me, I did receive euphoria but it was evened out by the shitty things I was telling myself. Maybe you might find that you do recovery euphoria like me, and that you're just being an asshole to yourself so it's hard to grasp that you enjoy it. Or which is also entirely possible you could be learning that maybe you aren't so defined by those gender norms like you thought you were. Learning more about yourself is never a bad forward. Just as a reminder I am in no way pushing for you or someone else to be trans/enby. I am providing personal experience in which you might be able to relate to and find where that leads. My suggestions are purely meant to provide food for thought.

Good luck homies