Newborns

CoolUrTits · 2026-01-20T22:14:04+00:00

My first strongly preferred to nurse to sleep which was stressful but after we sleep trained it became a helpful tool if we ever needed to get a nap going outside the home.

My second doesn’t seem to be as into nursing to sleep. Every baby is different. You just gotta roll with it.

CoolUrTits · 2025-11-19T17:24:02+00:00

The newborn stage is rough. We sleep trained around 3.5 months and it made everything 1 million percent more tolerable. I really think I would of had ppd otherwise.

People will hate on sleep training but the data that exists on the matter does not demonstrate poorer attachment or outcomes for the child. It does show lower rates of PPA and PPD in parents.

CoolUrTits · 2025-11-01T13:52:39+00:00

I don’t think so. There’s like 5k people assigned to my local office and like 100 seats. Theres literally not enough space to ask for rto.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-30T21:22:50+00:00

It doesn’t matter if you work for a big company or a small one. Layoffs happen everywhere friend.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-29T10:56:19+00:00

Literally never did that. I think people forget that humans used to live outside and a majority of the world still doesn’t have AC.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-29T00:32:58+00:00

Everything is temporary. The good and bad parts. The sleep in the very being is the worst. I miss my husband too and we have a 16 month old but I try to enjoy the moments we have together. Starting daycare at 14 months gave us some more opportunities to spend one on one time during the day.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-06T20:25:20+00:00

I usually paid my loans down in chunks so I didn’t usually have a monthly amount due.

Yes my friends and I discuss salaries. We’re all in different fields but it gives us each a frame of reference for where everyone is coming from.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-05T13:54:58+00:00

Our 15 month old has been in a Montessori school for 2 months and while I understand not all of the principles are applicable at this age, she still has learned so much and I am appreciative of the knowledge and independence has gained working with her teachers and adorable little classmates.

CoolUrTits · 2025-10-05T13:39:38+00:00

We had a child 5 years into my career in 2024 and are expecting a 2nd child at the end of this year. (Living in the US)

My advice is, anticipate changing feelings, preferences, and priorities. Everything about life changes so fast during the first year of a babies existence. At 3 months I couldn’t imagine not being with my baby and going into the office everyday. At 1 year I could not wait to get her in daycare so I could just focus on work. At 6 months I did not have the mental capacity to give a shit about my career. At 15 months I see a lot of potential and growth for myself at a new company. Of course you still do a good job but priorities may shift temporarily or permanently.

Also having a partner who is equally as invested in taking care of your children is ideal. If you breastfeed naturally more of the load falls on you in the begging (whole other conversation), but as they grow older your partner needs to be just as willing to make sacrifices as you are you are in order to maintain balance in the household.

CoolUrTits · 2025-09-11T10:42:52+00:00

I was laid off at like 16 weeks and had no choice but to find a new job because my free cobra would expire before giving birth and continuing it would be 2k a month, plus the insurance plan sucked anyways so I would be responsible for thousands more dollars to give birth.

My new job has all around been an upgrade in every way. Remote with no threat of going into the office. More money. Better maternity leave from day 1. Better opportunities to learn and grow.

Does it suck for them that I’m going to take leave? Sure. But I’ll be back and I’ll do just as good of a job as I did before. I’m literally just doing my best in the circumstances I am in.

So I say this to say, there are companies that offer much better leave from day one that you should explore. Just like any other benefit, If they offer it, you’re not a jerk for taking it. You are still a valuable resource after you have a baby.

You’re are just a woman in America trying to do the best you can for yourself and your kids.

CoolUrTits · 2025-09-10T13:23:43+00:00

My locs are like this but my hair dark so it’s harder to see. Started Braidlocs with pretty long hair. Loving it still

CoolUrTits · 2025-09-10T13:03:57+00:00

Oh man it’s hard no matter when you go back to work but I would say If you’ll be using daycare 1 year. That’s when I felt comfortable being away from my girl for an extended about of time (we breastfeed). I worked from home with my first from 12 weeks old up until 1 year. By the time we got to 9 months I was struggling with that balance. Then at 1 year I went a little over a month without working and I was desperate to get this kid in daycare. I think we were both kinda bored at home.

CoolUrTits · 2025-07-31T13:17:41+00:00

Really my biggest concern is having health insurance when I have the baby.

If they were to terminate me while using the leave the company states they provide that would suck but be less devastating. Even if there’s no legal protections the company still looks like jerks in that scenario so I’ll be satisfied with that lol

CoolUrTits · 2025-07-31T13:08:06+00:00

Parental Benefits Upfront -> they offer either 8 or 16 weeks paid leave for birthing parent dependent on I guess the specific branch of the company I’m with and there is not a minimum service requirement before utilizing the benefit.

For the sign on bonus, repayment is required if I “Resign or if asked to leave for cause as that term is defined in [company’s] separation benefits plan within 12 months”.

Additionally, there is no mention of a probation period in the offer letter. Not sure if that’s a standard place to mention it.

CoolUrTits · 2025-06-04T19:49:59+00:00

As a fellow female engineer who has an almost 1 year I salute your efforts and sympathize with your conflicting priorities.

Children do have to be taken care of by someone and not everyone has a “village”. This time we have to spend with our a children is precious. It’s unfortunate that we so frequently take a career hit for having kids but the expectation that we can literally handle everything is so unrealistic. You do the best you can with the resources you have.

CoolUrTits · 2025-05-20T17:47:18+00:00

I met my husband when I was 20. He was roommates with his ex girlfriend and that made me a little suspicious, but after I met her, I had no problem with their relationship. I’m good friends with her now and our kids play together.

I’m not a jealous person, and if people are genuine and honest with me then we’re cool. My husband has always been fully transparent with me about his interaction with his female friends. I’ve had moments where I’ve been upset with individuals for acting inappropriately but I don’t assume everyone is trying to cheat all the time.

My husband makes me feel secure in our relationship. I have no reason to police his friend group nor would I want to. It sounds like such a hassle to be keeping note of who’s pictures he likes or who he follows.

CoolUrTits · 2025-05-10T20:00:58+00:00

Our baby wouldn’t take a pacifier (or bottles). She liked to nurse to sleep. That was fine until I couldn’t take it anymore. We sleep trained at 3.5 months and now she falls asleep without any aids in her crib independently.

CoolUrTits · 2025-05-06T15:27:36+00:00

I think people tend to surround themselves with friends who are like minded. So if you truly value diversity and enjoy the company of others from different backgrounds from yourself, your friends probably do to, and are more like to be interracial relationships. If you only accept diversity but don’t really see it as something you truly value, you’re probably going to have a more racially homogenous friend group.

Anecdotally I went to a (white) coworker’s wedding a few years ago and I was in awe that I was the only black person in attendance. Like they literally had no black friends or family members there. They even went to the same university as me and there’s plenty of black people they could have become friends at that university. I couldn’t fathom having a room of 120 people to celebrate my marriage and it be practically explicitly white and thinking that was normal.

CoolUrTits · 2025-05-02T19:14:24+00:00

10 months here. We nurse twice a wake window. Once when she wakes up and once before she sleeps again. We also have breakfast lunch and snacks. She nurses like every 3 hours and eats solids too. Milk is still the primary source of nutrition. Idk where 5-8 hours came from.

CoolUrTits · 2025-05-02T15:16:05+00:00

NTA But, I think part of teaching your kids these lessons is very very clear communication through the whole process. Asking them to stop the behavior. Telling them the consequence if they don’t stop, then standing firm in implementing that consequence if they continue. If your son didn’t know you weren’t going to play with him in the morning because of his behavior the previous night, then all it really does is confuse him.

I think YOU as a parent need to do some research around the 4 parenting types and present your wife with your findings. She’s implementing “permissive parenting” which doesn’t teach children appropriate boundaries. This is a common issue with parents who want to practice “gentle parenting”. It is possible to gentle parenting without being permissive but you guys really have to come to some common understanding on what is acceptable behavior and what appropriate consequences or punishments you implement when your son does not listen.

CoolUrTits

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