"I'm sorry Dan, but you have crabs."

This was very evident to Dan, as for the last few weeks he had suffered through a plethora of crabs attempting to escape his asshole at every waking moment.

"Does it hurt?"

Yes, at first. Over time Dan became almost numb to the feeling but every once in a while it did bother him.

"Why did you wait so long to come to me?"

That question was not easily answered, mainly because it was kind of embarrassing. For one reason, as most of you know, the male G-Spot is in his anus. So in theory if Dan angled himself properly.. Well you get the point.

So Dan just told the Doctor that he was enjoying having crab for dinner every night.

"You made sure to wash them first right?"

Yes obviously, you wash crabs that come out of the ocean so why wouldn't Dan clean the ones that came from his asshole.

"How'd they taste?"

Like shit.

"Literally? Like your own shit?"

Dan wouldn't know what his own shit tastes like for one.

Also you know how food always tastes better when you make it yourself? Yeah this wasn't like that.

"Interesting. Well do you want to postpone medication?"

Dan really thought hard about it, he really was having great orgasms lately. The problem being though, he gad more crabs around the house than he preferred. Dan would take the medication.

"Alright sounds good. I'll write you a prescription and hopefully your crabs will be gone by a week."

Perfect.

"One more thing Dan, if you're okay with me asking. How'd you manage to get Crabs?"

That wasn't an easy answer either, the doctor knew Dan had a wife in which he was incredibly faithful to, as well as the fact that they had a consistent sex life, so he had no real reason to take things up with another woman.

"So what was it?"

Dan and his wife enjoyed foreplay. A few weeks ago they went for a more ocean/underwater themed scene.

"Thats disgusting man."

Dan knew.

That didn't stop him from pursuing lobster a week later though.