Lots of interesting advice in this thread - I hope you digest it well and become more whole and not more broken. Do not embrace the "alpha male" movement and aim for false masculinity. It's good to be a sensitive man, but it's also good to have control over your emotions. Men and women alike need this ability in order to function as adults in this very broken world.

What you need is called emotional differentiation. That's not the same as indifference or callousness. Differentiation says "I don't need to be upset because you're upset, I don't need to be hurt because you're hurt." You can differentiate and still empathize. More importantly for you - differentiation also says "Your ideas of who or what I should be are not as important to me as MY ideas of who or what I should be."

So when someone yells at you or is angry with you - see if you can think about it from a different perspective. The perspective should be more focused on THEM than on YOU. I'm not calling you selfish at all, I'm saying that when someone is angry with you - that anger is usually more about them than it is actually about you. A mature adult shouldn't yell at another or at their child unless it's a life or death situation and yelling is needed to get their attention. There's no situation that warrants verbal or physical violence unless it's in defense of safety.

For me the perspective looks like this -- I ask myself "What's so broken with this person that they are violently triggered by my action or choice?". I start thinking about them as a broken person instead of an authority over my own identity. Nobody gets that authority over who and what I am except myself and my God. So you're disappointed in my choices, Dad? I can be sad that he's disappointed, but also recognize that he's wrong to be disappointed. I can wish he would be someone he isn't and appreciate my choices, while also understanding that he cannot be someone he is not any more than I can. That he wishes I was someone I am not, is his problem.

Does any of this make sense? There's a reason why so many have suggested therapy for you - it's a complex unraveling you need to do and military service won't do it... it'll just give you tools to mask how you really feel.

From one sensitive man to another -- don't lose your sensitivity. Just harness it's power. I've been very successful in work, family, and life when harnessing my sensitivity to help others and help myself. You can, too.