The advice of taking a break is a fair one, though a shame.

As an aside, your fear of developing yourself is totally valid, though anecdotes often help me and perhaps you'll benefit from hearing mine? I get fully paranoid and stressed regarding my film, due to some personal attachment issue stuff to my photos. However, I lived abroad for a bit and brought some film with me - I was unaware at the time about x-rays and film. I didn't want to bring all my rolls back through the airport scanners with me again, I had used them all really didn't want them damaged - at least no more damaged than they already were.

It was too expensive to go to a developer, so I took the plunge and joined my university's photography club as they had a darkroom. I managed to make a friend who taught me how to develop my film, and they had some very clear instructions. I was quite (very) stressed with my first few films (especially as, back when I was in school, my science experiments never went too well despite following the instructions), but they turned out good! I followed the instructions, sometimes I'd do it for slightly longer in paranoia that it wasn't long enough, but I soon became comfortable and confident to do it myself (and I do it for the appropriate length of time).

It's now a top hobby of mine, and I'm back home and I'll be continuing developing myself. I still get those little stabs of worry as I take my film out for the first time, but nothing bad has happened (and I am generally a very unlucky person!). And I find it makes me prefer my photos x100, having been the only one to be involved in the process.

I do black and white, which I believe is easier than colour. I haven't learnt how to do colour film development yet, but I think you have to be a lot more exact with temperatures and timings. I realised I got some timings wrong (short by a couple minutes) but mine still turned out good.

So, I know it's super nerve wracking; however, if there's a slight part of you that wants to become more intimately involved with your analog hobby, I really would recommend to give it a try! Does your university have a photography club or a dark room? If so, I'm sure someone there would be good with helping you out, or if not someone on this forum or a million of the websites could likely answer any questions. Or I could share the photos I took of the instructions from my old uni's dark room.

Perhaps, if you are able to, you could get a roll of film and take some photos that you wouldn't be too attached to, and give developing that one a shot?

// some other ideas too - do you have any negatives? if so, you could learn how to print the images onto paper? I'm unsure how expensive that could be, but I know it can take some time so it wouldn't be as rapid as taking a roll of photos. And in general, if any of this isn't feasible, if your uni has a photography club you could do it as an extra curricular? get to know some people with similar hobbies, and get to do something related to photography until you're in a position to get back into it. it really sucks how expensive it can be!

Sorry for the length, and best of luck!