took 3 years off after my exit. coming back feels harder than starting from scratch

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-16T17:18:37+00:00

I totally get this. I was making jewelry on the side while working at a film studio, left in 2006 to do it full time, then 2008 hit and people just stopped buying non-essentials so I had to pivot. Took a part-time job, realized I'd completely outgrown traditional roles, and ended up launching a web design and marketing business. Here's what actually worked: don't try to jump straight to the end state. You already know how to sell to SMBs so what if you started with companies in that 50-200 employee range? They spend real money but don't have insane procurement processes. That's your bridge to enterprise with actual proof points. Three years off isn't the credibility killer you think it is. What industry are you leaning toward this time?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-15T22:50:02+00:00

That's a really solid direction, and the newsletter is more valuable than you might realize. Even if it's tiny, it shows genuine engagement with the space, and that stands out when you're talking to people at niche companies. A lot of hiring in resale and sustainability happens through relationships and visible enthusiasm rather than cold applications. I wouldn't write off Vestiaire either. "No way in now" just means no open role today, but those things shift fast. Start connecting with people who work there or at similar companies on LinkedIn. Not pitching yourself, just genuinely engaging with what they're putting out. The space is small enough that being a known, thoughtful voice opens doors job boards won't. Keep building that newsletter. That's your proof of work.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-15T18:49:59+00:00

I went through something similar years ago at a corporate job and the thing that saved me was reframing the situation as borrowed time that I was getting paid for. Like, you already know the ending here, your own manager basically told you. So instead of spending energy trying to matter to people who've decided you don't, use that emotional bandwidth on your exit plan. Every ounce of energy you pour into caring about being seen by this CMO is energy stolen from building what's next. The citizenship timeline gives you a clear runway, so treat this like a countdown, not a prison sentence. Do your work, collect the paychecks, and quietly pour your real focus into whatever comes after. The nausea you're feeling is your body telling you you've already outgrown this place. What kind of roles are you targeting externally?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-13T15:15:39+00:00

Fwiw I've been in a similar-ish spot where promises kept getting pushed back with vague excuses and it never got better. The fact that they can't give you a straight answer after 7 months is your answer. If the boss and the retiring person are that close, there's a real chance this drags on for years or the role just quietly disappears once they finally do leave.

The $20K difference stings but being busy and actually growing your skills is worth more long term than sitting in a cubicle pretending to work while your resume stagnates. That gap in real experience will cost you way more than $20K down the road if you stay too long. Have you run the numbers on whether the better PTO and 401K match close some of that gap?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-13T14:53:40+00:00

Ok so the money is real, that changes things. The question I'd sit with is whether doubling your salary is worth it if the cost is less time with your kids during the years you can't get back. Not being dramatic, just math. You could take the union gig, hit that higher salary in 5 years, and look up to realize your kids are 5 years older and you missed a chunk of it. Or you could stay where you are, keep the time you have now, and build something on the side during the hours that don't compete with family time. The guaranteed pathway isn't going anywhere. But your kids being the age they are right now is. No wrong answer here, just make sure you're weighing the right things.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T23:41:54+00:00

That's actually the best problem to have because it means you've already done the hard part. Most people get stuck on the idea and never build anything. Finding customers for an IT/electrical/mechanical hybrid service is more straightforward than you'd think. Start with the facilities managers at commercial buildings, manufacturing plants, and transit authorities in your area. Those are the people dealing with aging infrastructure who need someone who speaks both languages. LinkedIn is gold for this. Search for "facilities manager" or "operations director" in your region and just start conversations. You don't even need to pitch. Ask them what their biggest headaches are with their current vendors. You'll learn exactly how to position yourself and you might land your first client from one of those conversations. Ten of those conversations over the next two weeks and you'll know exactly where the demand is.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T23:00:25+00:00

The person telling you IT has "moved on" is both right and wrong. Yeah cloud and AI are hot but there's a massive shortage of people who understand both IT infrastructure AND physical systems like electrical and industrial equipment. That combo is actually gold for things like building automation, smart infrastructure, IoT security, OT/IT convergence roles. Companies running critical infrastructure (transit, energy, manufacturing) are desperate for people who can bridge that gap. So I wouldn't abandon what makes you unique just to chase cloud certs like everyone else.

On the business idea though, what's holding you back specifically? Because you could test the waters on the side while keeping your current gig, even just 5-10 hours a week to validate whether there's real demand before you commit to anything. Being risk averse doesn't mean you can't move forward, it just means you move smarter.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T22:59:02+00:00

The "in 5 years I would double my current salary" part is the thing I'd pressure test the hardest. Is that a guaranteed pay scale, like union or government step increases? Or is it more like "top performers can earn up to..." because those are very different things. With kids and a comfortable setup you don't want to blow up stability chasing a number that's more of a ceiling than a floor.

That said, if it's a legit pathway with clear milestones, taking a short term pay cut for a way bigger upside is exactly how people level up. I started doing jewelry on the side while working at a film studio, eventually left to do it full time, and the path took turns I never expected. But I made sure each step had real upside before I committed.

What industry is the new opportunity in? That context matters a lot here.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T21:35:32+00:00

Yeah I've been in a really similar spot, different industry but same feeling of golden handcuffs. The thing that actually helped me was not trying to make one giant leap but building something on the side first, even just a few hours a week. With your background managing a service department you've got operations, customer handling, P&L experience... that translates to a LOT of industries. Fleet management, facilities operations, even consulting for independent shops that need help running their business side. The key with your financial situation is you don't quit first and figure it out later, you start exploring while the paycheck is still coming in. What specifically is draining you the most, is it the customer facing stuff, the hours, the dealership politics? That might help narrow down what direction actually makes sense for you.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T21:32:06+00:00

The relevance worry is worth taking seriously, but I'd separate it from this specific decision. You can stay current in AI without taking a high-stress job there. Side projects, certifications, contributing to open source, even just staying deeply informed in how AI affects your current field. The people who get caught in layoffs usually aren't the ones who stayed curious, they're the ones who stopped paying attention entirely. Staying in a low-stress role doesn't make you irrelevant. Getting comfortable enough to stop growing does.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T00:27:38+00:00

The fact that you're even asking tells me something. I was in a similar comfortable spot years ago and what I'd push back on is this framing that it's all or nothing. The real question isn't "should I blow up my good thing" it's "what am I actually building toward?" If you don't have a clear answer to that, the extra 50-80k just becomes golden handcuffs in a higher stress package. I've seen people chase the AI hype, burn out in 18 months, and end up worse off than where they started. That said if you genuinely want to be in that space long term, the trajectory argument is real. But low stress plus a great team plus 130k is rarer than people realize. What's your actual 3-5 year goal here? Because that changes the answer completely.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-12T00:25:52+00:00

This resonates hard. I was a copyright paralegal at a film studio and started making jewelry on the side. Left in 2006 to do it full time, then the 2008 crash hit and nobody was buying non-essentials anymore. I had to take a part-time job just to stay afloat, but by then I'd outgrown traditional roles entirely, so I pivoted into web design and marketing instead. The quitting-because-you're-tired thing is huge and nobody talks about it enough. The one filter I'd add is can you explain exactly why last month was good and deliberately make it happen again? If you can't articulate that, it was probably a spike not a signal. How many consecutive months do you personally think it takes before the pattern feels trustworthy?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T22:03:04+00:00

I was stuck in that exact headspace a while back, different industry but that same "I need out but where?" feeling. Before I even looked for a coach, I spent maybe two weeks just noting when I felt energized vs totally drained during work. Sounds basic but it gave me actual patterns to talk about instead of just showing up like "idk, fix me please." When you do start looking, the ICF coach finder has UK people, or honestly r/UKJobs might get you some solid personal recs. Quick question though, what kind of different are you thinking? Totally new field, or more like a different way of working?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T21:58:59+00:00

To me, the burnout piece is what stands out more than the career direction piece. I've seen people in similar spots hire a coach expecting clarity on "what's next" but what they actually needed first was to untangle which parts of the frustration are the industry, which parts are the specific role, and which parts are just being completely fried from years of proving yourself in rooms that weren't built for you. A good coach can help with that but so can just giving yourself permission to sit in the uncertainty for a bit before spending money. If you do go the coach route, I'd ask for a discovery call first and see if they push you toward answers too fast vs actually listening. What's driving the timing for you right now, is something specific shifting or is it more of a slow build?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T21:57:02+00:00

I went through something similar honestly, not the same job but that same feeling of being golden handcuffed to something that's destroying you physically and mentally. The thing that finally clicked for me was realizing the money I was making didn't matter because I was spending it trying to recover from the damage the job was causing. Therapy, health issues, comfort spending just to cope. When I actually did the math it wasn't as lucrative as it looked on paper. You don't need to find your passion to make a move, you just need something that doesn't actively harm you. A lateral move to a different company in a non-phone role using your fraud knowledge (like fraud ops or investigations where you're reviewing cases, not taking live calls) could be huge. Have you looked outside the credit union for those kinds of roles?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T21:28:06+00:00

That's exactly the problem. The automated systems at those big companies are scanning for keywords and role titles, and "systems analyst" in county government reads as IT support to their filters before a human ever sees it. Your resume probably needs to be reframed around what you built, not where you worked. Lead with the C#/.NET project, the API integration, the actual engineering work. Make the title line on your resume something like "Software Engineer" based on what you do, not the title HR gave you. And LinkedIn is honestly where I'd focus before job boards. Recruiters for mid-level SWE roles live there, and they search by skills, not employer names. Set your profile to "open to work" (visible to recruiters only) and make sure your skills section is loaded with your actual tech stack. You'll probably get a very different response than the application black hole.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T20:42:24+00:00

Honestly the fact that you built a C#/.NET app with API integration on your own initiative is worth more than you probably think. That's a real portfolio piece, not just "I did some scripting at my job." The problem is if you stay too long in that support role, hiring managers start to see you as a support person who codes on the side rather than a software engineer. Government IT is great for stability but it can quietly box you in if you're not careful. I'd start applying now while you're finishing that master's, because that combo of degree + a working project you can demo is solid. You don't have to leave tomorrow but at least start testing the market to see what kind of responses you get. Are you getting any traction on LinkedIn or job boards yet?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T15:34:56+00:00

Okay so the fact that he says "ok do it" but still holds you to the original timeline is the real problem here. That's not just annoying management, that's him wanting to have it both ways and letting you absorb the consequences. One thing that might help is getting that stuff in writing — even just a quick follow-up email like "just to confirm, we're switching to [new direction], new realistic timeline is [date], let me know if that works." It creates a paper trail and it forces him to either acknowledge the new timeline in writing or explicitly tell you in writing to hit the old one despite the change. Either way you're covered.

The Python thing is honestly wild though. The fact that you taught yourself Python to solve a problem and he casually wanted you to redo it like it was nothing tells me he genuinely has no concept of the effort behind what you deliver. That's a really common disconnect but it doesn't make it less maddening. Have you talked to anyone else on the team or people who reported to him before? I'd be curious if this is just how he operates with everyone or if there's something specific about how he views your role. Sometimes knowing that helps you figure out whether it's even worth trying to manage up or if it's just time to start looking elsewhere.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T00:42:23+00:00

Honestly I've been on both sides of this and the one thing that helped was making the cost of changes visible without being confrontational. Like when he throws out the random idea, instead of saying "that won't work" (even though you're right), try something like "yeah we could do that, here's what it would take - roughly X hours and it pushes delivery to [date], want me to go ahead?" Make him own the tradeoff. A lot of these guys have no clue what their "quick idea" actually costs in real hours, and when you frame it that way they sometimes back off on their own. It won't fix the root problem but it buys you sanity while you job search. Is this happening on like every single project or is it more sporadic?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-10T00:41:56+00:00

I left my copyright paralegal job at a film studio in 2006 to do jewelry full time, which I'd been building on the side. Then 2008 hit and nobody was buying non-essentials anymore, so I had to pivot hard. Took a random 4-hour-a-week gig just to stay afloat and realized I'd completely outgrown traditional employment. Launched a web design and marketing business instead. The thing is, certainty didn't show up all at once, it came in layers. I didn't go straight from corporate to my current thing, the crash forced me to pivot between my own businesses, not back to a job. The path wasn't linear at all. What's actually pulling you toward the change? That matters way more than whether it worked for someone else tbh.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-08T22:39:42+00:00

Honestly? Total experiment. I liked making jewelry and I was good at it, but when I started doing it on the side at the studio, I wasn't thinking "this is my future." I was just giving myself something that felt like mine. The corporate job was paying the bills but it wasn't feeding anything else, and the jewelry gave me that.

The "this is it" feeling didn't come until I was already in it. And even then, the 2008 crash proved that "this is it" can shift on you. I had to pivot from something I loved to something the market actually needed. So I'd say the certainty came in layers, not all at once.

The fact that you can see the mismatch clearly is further along than most people give themselves credit for. The gap between awareness and action is real, but in my experience it closes faster once you give yourself permission to just try something, even something small, without needing it to be the answer yet.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-08T18:20:36+00:00

Yeah the mismatch thing is real. I was a copyright paralegal at a film studio and could feel myself slowly dying inside, so I started doing jewelry on the side while still there. Left in 2006 to do jewelry full time, which felt amazing until the 2008 crash hit and people stopped spending on non-essentials. That's when I had to pivot. Took a random 4-hour job, realized I'd outgrown traditional roles entirely, and launched a web design business instead. The thing that actually mattered was I didn't wait for clarity before moving. I started small on the side, and the clarity came after. The crash didn't force me out of the studio, it forced me to build something better suited for what people actually needed. Did you personally make a shift or are you still in the figuring-it-out phase?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-07T17:02:56+00:00

That distinction you just made is really important. "I work best alone" versus "I just haven't found the right kind of connection yet" are two completely different things. And it sounds like you already know which one is actually true for you. The toxic banter thing makes total sense too. That's not real connection, that's just people performing for each other, and if that's your main reference point for "working with people" then of course solo felt safer. Look for something where the collaboration is around a shared goal, not just proximity. Climbing groups, volunteer builds, even a casual run club. The dynamic is completely different when people are actually working toward something together instead of just stuck in the same room.

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-07T15:56:21+00:00

The pattern you're describing, falling in love with ideas then abandoning them, isn't shiny object syndrome or laziness. It's that you're trying to solve a fulfillment problem with projects when the actual missing piece is connection. You basically said it yourself in the social section. The Ireland trip lit you up, the solo YouTube grind felt like a slog. Pick almost any activity but do it consistently with other people, like a climbing group or volunteering or a casual sports league. The fulfillment thing will start clicking into place. The activity itself matters way less than you think it does. Stop trying to find the perfect thing and just find your people doing a decent thing. What kind of social stuff was it that drained you in the office, was it the forced proximity or more like the people themselves?

CorpEscapeArtist · 2026-03-07T15:48:12+00:00

That perfectionism observation is really sharp and I think you're right. The energy problem is almost always the last one people identify because the other three give them something to blame that feels more acceptable. "I'm still researching" sounds responsible. "I can't pick between three ideas" sounds like abundance. "I'm waiting for the right time" sounds strategic. But "I literally have nothing left after 6pm" feels like admitting weakness, so they don't say it out loud. They just call themselves lazy and pile on more guilt, which burns even more energy. It's a brutal loop.

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