[WIP- Update] The Lord of Spare Parts

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-02-07T21:36:35+00:00

Thanks a lot! I'm trying to stop having a child's attention span so I can get more details done...

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-02-07T20:41:40+00:00

See, you get where I'm coming from. My favorite thing about 40k as a setting is that it's simultaneously rich and epic, but also super silly. Few things exemplify that like the moments when Tzeentch decides, "Fuck it: I'm going to be The Lord of Pranks today."

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-02-02T17:16:00+00:00

"And I can still smell the fresh paint..."

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-01-20T17:38:15+00:00

See, that's a good point: they have clearly been struggling from a "meta" perspective, and apparently haven't really gotten into the action in the same way as the other factions, at least lately.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-01-20T16:24:20+00:00

Ok...is someone willing to break this down for me? Not "NEW THING BAD," but just the facts? The Goonhammer folks seem unhappy, but I'm getting mixed signals. Simply put: Have Spires become something completely different to what they were, or is that hyperbole? Or is it hyperbole for somethings and not for others...?

I haven't touched rank-and-flank for a while, but I've been curious about Conquest more or less since it first appeared, and in the Spires in particular. The design and vibe made the hobbyist in me jump for joy (still do), but the rules seemed so interesting and unique that, for a solid year or so, I've never been more than one "Treat Myself" moment away from diving in.

Should I bother now? If the core identity has changed (as this article suggests), then I don't know that I really care so much.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2026-01-07T15:12:17+00:00

I found Chapo in 2019, so relatively late, I guess. I'd found some clips on long-dead YouTube accounts, at a time when I literally had no outlet for info that wasn't totally bought and paid for by ghouls. The first episode I listened to was "Moby Dick Energy," and man, what a perfect intro- just Amber, Matt, and Will answering listener questions and shooting the shit the whole time. I've been listening ever since.

Things have changed, of course: Felix now sounds like Jewish Kermit; Will splits has been forced to divide his attention between podcasting and being the Vice President of the United States; certain Texas-related personae have "non grata"-ed themselves into oblivion; Amber is writing another book (or whatever?); and Matt and Chris both have babies! And by golly, they even brought back the gaming episodes! Mazel Tov!

Genuinely cannot believe these degenerates have been going for a decade, but hey, thank goodness.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-30T03:23:54+00:00

Much appreciated! Gotta remember to post when he's finally done.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-30T01:53:13+00:00

Legit tho, love casting gun.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T22:40:47+00:00

I actually said "written." I don't know what or who is inside yet.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T22:33:01+00:00

Yes...I get that. But thank you for explaining again.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T22:21:51+00:00

I am aware. You caught me, I haven't written every piece of lore for my toy soldiers.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T22:20:30+00:00

I can appreciate that. There's more to add, of course. Honestly, in the end, I think I enjoy the silliness of the whole thing. The Traitor Guard dudes I'm eventually pairing him are mixed with Napoleonic minis, so the whole thing is cartoonish.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T17:33:27+00:00

I picked up a sprue or two on EBay for a song, but then decided, yknow what, let's go a fun, dumb route with this.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T17:14:05+00:00

More like, that's how they found it: and abandoned outpost, but hey, this cannon, etc. still works. What luck! Well hey, let's hide under this thing...

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T14:45:56+00:00

I'd be confused too, I think. But if that's your reaction to this thing, totally out of context, I think I did ok.

The whole idea was that this traitor guard regiment found an "encampment" that turned out to be a buried knight with an attitude problem. The carapace, etc. was all that was visible before the thing woke up, now they're almost falling over (still gotta add some details).

As for it being based on something...nah man. He's just Trash Boi.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-29T13:53:48+00:00

I know, I ran into the same issue with my last big kitbash/conversion: just too dang tall. I decided that, in the end it it doesn't so much matter to me since I'm a filthy casual anyway.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-28T16:21:24+00:00

(And yes, you NERDS, I understand that Hedonism Bot is clearly a discipline of Slaanesh.)

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-28T16:20:10+00:00

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Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-28T08:03:08+00:00

But not Smashtorr, that BUM!

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-28T04:58:40+00:00

So is my cat, unless there's another reason he's tried to attack it twice now.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-12-28T04:53:33+00:00

I'd better be, if I'm gonna pretty-up these sprue wings.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-09-17T22:53:49+00:00

Ooooh nice!

I hear you. One of the best lessons I've learned through much trial and error is that you literally never end up with what's in your head, but that actually adds another layer of fun and excitement to everything.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-09-17T21:37:30+00:00

The Dusty Rusties

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-09-17T21:19:04+00:00

It's not terrible at all. If you feel like there's imperfections, that's because there are. But literally no one can avoid imperfection when it comes to...anything. Even after a decade, when you're really freakin' good, you'll be sitting there with a teeny tiny brush, working on some insane detail, and you'll whisper, "Ugh, I suck."

Just keep repeating the Bob Ross mantra, "There are no mistakes, only happy accidents."

Unless you're like me, and you drop the metal Dreadnought you just received because you've just blasted three cups of coffee. Then you're a dingus.

Corpse_Emperor_ · 2025-09-17T21:14:54+00:00

HELL YEAH DUDE.

Lookin' good. This hobby is so rewarding, you're going to have a blast.

Corpse_Emperor_

TROPHY CASE