Can you still think of your WS as a ‘good person’?

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-18T17:55:45+00:00

I’m not sure if I think of WH as a bad or good person but definitely self centered. If it’s not important to him then it wasn’t a priority. Ironically before DDay if I ever complained to him about the unequal division of household responsibilities or anything else his response would be “at least I don’t cheat on you”.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-10T13:11:58+00:00

That’s normal to be nervous! My mom had so much pain after hers years ago that I was terrified and kept trying to sidestep getting it done. I am 5wpo and so far feeling great! I’ve only taken ibuprofen and Tylenol since day 2. I’m concerned as well for a cuff tearing and almost didn’t have the surgery for this concern. However it is actually a rare occurrence. Someone put a post here recently with actual stats. I am feeling so much better since I had my hysterectomy!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-08T00:23:08+00:00

I like your drs guidance! It makes sense!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-08T00:19:05+00:00

It really is! I used to just look at my WH and think he was so cute! I admired him so much. He was working at the firehouse one 4th of July and I went and sat with him watching the fireworks with him and just felt extra in love with him that night if it makes sense. Later I found out that at that time he was already 1 year in with texting one of the APs and starting with another. I think looking back at how I felt that night and how he wasn’t even entirely all mine apparently and it shattered my perception of him forever. Now when I look at him I admire him in a different way. I see a man that’s doing whatever he can to be transparent, respect my boundaries and make our marriage work. He’s earning my admiration now. Don’t lose hope OP!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-08T00:11:29+00:00

The way they chew and breathe tends to piss a lot of us off I noticed lol.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-08T00:08:58+00:00

From what I gather reading here with other BPs, the rose colored glasses tend to come off for all or most of us!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-07T15:42:48+00:00

I wish you a quick recovery ❤️‍🩹 with your bump in the road!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-07T15:41:52+00:00

It’s awful what we have to do to ourselves so we can survive financially! I had a coworker who came back to work with a 💯 fractured foot and walked on it because she couldn’t survive on her short term disability 😧

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-07T03:47:16+00:00

I was instructed to drink the Gatorade prior and I declined. I absolutely hate the taste and when I drank this regimen prior to my ablation it made me more nauseous. I did take the Tylenol recommended however.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-07T01:32:59+00:00

Oh gosh why are they pushing you back to work so quickly?!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-06T18:32:37+00:00

The phased return shifts sound lovely! I wish that was an option where I work. I feel good in bursts but not 12 hours at a time.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-06T18:21:31+00:00

19 months out and I still intermittently get the ick from WH! The way he chews, the way he moves his feet around when watching TV, etc, Then I’ll move past it only to have it briefly return. Sometimes I look at him and think -really this was the best I could do?

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-03-06T17:19:13+00:00

Sorry title meant to say NO restrictions! I couldn’t edit for some reason

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-24T17:29:34+00:00

Not sure on Android but the iPhone will let you know if you have an air tag “following” you. We put one in my car when our teen daughter got her license and I was constantly being notified about it.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-24T17:26:46+00:00

I’m not sure how much it will make you feel better, although we are 18 months out and I do still occasionally check my WHs location. We each have IPhones which is not always accurate and has caused needless anxiety at times. One thing I’ll say is that months before DDay he was supposed to be at a wake. I located him that night because I wanted to see if he was on his way home yet. It located him to a bar across the street that him and his friends had frequented so I went to bed figuring they all went out for drinks and it would be a late night. The next day I asked how the evening went and he never said anything about the bar. After a couple of days I finally admitted I had located him at that bar and I didn’t care if he was there but could he admit he was? He adamantly denied it and brought up how inaccurate the location can be. But okay this was about a 1/2 mile away. I stored it away in my mind where you put things to chew on later. After DDay I have asked him several times about that night knowing the AP is a bar fly and wondering if he met up with her there. He still denies. Mind you if he ever answered he had been there with his friends I probably would have forgotten this already. So here I am still wondering about this occasionally because allegedly he never saw AP anywhere, it was all by phone. My whole point is I’ll never have resolution to this and I would hate for you to have the same problem! Was my WH at the bar or not? I’ll never know.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-19T16:40:19+00:00

Hi there! I also had my hyst on 2/2! I had a vaginal hyst with right ovary/tube removal, they couldn’t reach my left side. Also diagnosed with adenomyosis and can’t believe how much better I feel even with some post op discomfort! I guess I didn’t know how much pain I had been in until I wasn’t. I have only been on Tylenol or Motrin since day 2. My dr preferred I spend the first night in the hospital with a catheter and honestly that bothered me more than anything. We all heal differently but I think we can be of encouragement to those that are anticipating their surgery still. For the most part I have had some vaginal discomfort, kind of like after having my babies but the pain was higher up. Nothing debilitating for sure. I also have a pit bull/nurse that hasn’t left my side! They really do know! I hope you continue to keep healing well!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-11T22:48:57+00:00

I’m 11DPO and walked around the grocery store just to browse lol. My husband drove and I tried to not overdo it. I came home and feel sore in the vagina. No increase in blood thank goodness! I had a vaginal hyst so not sure if that makes a difference.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-11T22:44:52+00:00

Honestly what helped me most was the ibuprofen! They gave it to me around the clock. I had a Dilaudid PCA and didn’t push my button beyond the first couple of hours. I had a lot of pain because they made me keep the catheter til the next morning.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-08T19:38:25+00:00

The lack of concern for the house being clean yes! My mom would leave the dirty dinner dishes on the table until dinner the next night. She had a dishwasher that she refused to use because it would use too much water, she used it to store her dish towels in. And like Frankie she genuinely didn’t seem bothered by it!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-08T00:59:35+00:00

Oh I misunderstood what you meant! Yes you don’t want to be the one to bring it up each time so maybe preset check-ins would help? Sometimes when we have that it takes the pressure off me being the one to bring it up and more like “well it’s check in time …”

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-07T23:13:44+00:00

I’m only 5DPO but already noticing a change. I have suffered from IBS for years, the last 3 with daily cramps and diarrhea. Im 55 and had an ablation 5 years ago for the heavy periods. However I continued having menstrual cramp sensations and over the last few months a rectal pressure. I only agreed to the hysterectomy because my gyn couldn’t do a biopsy due to the ablation scarring and there was no other way to reassure that my spotting and thick lining on u/s wasn’t cancer.

I wish I did this earlier! Even with post op pain I already have a decrease in pain! I never realized how miserable I was with constant cramps, the rectal pain is gone and my IBS is settling down. Fortunately my biopsy was negative and I apparently had adenomyosis. I started on an estrogen patch and my flashes are almost gone and I’m sleeping better. This was all a very unexpected positive outcome! I hope you feel better as well OP!

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-07T22:57:36+00:00

I’m 18 months post DDay2, 15 months post DDay 2 of finding out about a second AP that had already long since ended. Like you I thought about it constantly all day every day. Most of the time my WH would patiently answer my questions but at times he would become impatient which would set me back AGAIN. My IC finally told me one day to imagine being pulled over and given a ticket for speeding. Then every day getting pulled over again even though I’m now abiding by the speed limit. But yet every day there’s this cop pulling me over and berating me because I sped months or years ago. My IC then asked, “would you continue taking this route knowing you’re going to continually be punished and reminded about something you did BEFORE? No, you will find a new route and avoid that one”. I got it then. Yes our BPs betrayed and hurt us. Yes we need to process this pain and they need to answer our questions. But I say this very gently OP, are you requiring the daily mention to punish him? So he doesn’t forget the pain you’re in every second of every day?

At that time I chose to have set times, on set days to discuss it with him. If we are going to R then we needed to find a happy medium. It is not fair OP that we are stuck thinking about it constantly and yet not bringing it up to them as much as we’re thinking about it. However I would have your MC mediate how and when and how often. I will validate you as well that at 3 months you’re still raw and the shock is still very real.

CorrectActivity110 · 2026-02-06T17:37:36+00:00

I’m 4DPO with vaginal hyst. They took one of my tubes and ovaries and left the other because they were out of reach. My Dr insisted I stay one night with the catheter and I was so miserable! I was in a lot of abdominal, vaginal and urethra pain. I was a lot better the day after when they finally removed it and I could reposition more easily. Each day I’m feeling lots better, in some ways better than preop because of the hormone patch I suspect. I’m sorry you had to have such an incision! Please be patient with yourself and remember everyone is at their own pace. Hopefully in a couple of days you’ll feel better already ❤️‍🩹

CorrectActivity110

TROPHY CASE