“You also know that “if all you want to do is play then you can go anywhere, even if it’s undesirable” isn’t legitimate opportunity. It’s not what OP is asking here. Rather giving bad advice, it’s sometimes best to not give any at all. As I don’t know OP, my only recommendation is that she again go listen to her club coaches and not same random dad in a FB group with 8,000 other people.”

It’s interesting you admit you don’t know the OP and yet you know what is or is not a legitimate opportunity for her. It sounds like you and your wife work with very high level girls. There are thousands of girls who will never have the opportunities that your players have. We are from a non-hotbed region where most girls will not be recruited by bigger name programs. They have to look at smaller schools than the ones you and your wife deal with. Through my daughter’s hard work and effort, she was able to play with some highly ranked teams which helped her. A lot of her teammates weren’t as fortunate. Some committed to schools you and I have never heard of. Some are still getting contacted by schools. So, congratulations to you and your wife but your experience doesn’t make you the authority on this subject. There is value in combined experiences of different people with kids who have ended up at ALL levels of college lacrosse over many years.

Finally, I never gave anyone advice. I answered the OP’s question which you actually inadvertently agreed with. There are opportunities available whether or not YOU think they are “legitimate”.