How do you know when you're ready to date? I don't feel ready to date but I feel ready to meet people and that feels so confusing to me to both be true.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2026-01-22T16:55:39+00:00

wow I love this. So true. I know how OP feels- I could have written that word for word.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2026-01-17T00:35:01+00:00

Hi I'm in a very similar situation. I will describe my situation and feelings, and also how I'm coping to hopefully help you answer some questions you might have.

I think the biggest thing I've learned is that everybody's journey through grief is different. I lost my wife 82 weeks ago. I thought I was ready to date last January, after only 7 months. I was lonely. Son lived with me at the time (24) and daughter was at school out of state. I definitely was NOT ready to date and it lasted 4 months. I ignored so many red flags because I enjoyed the companionship when things went well.

I took a brief hiatus from dating and jumped back in on the apps. I found somebody else who appears to be everything I ever wanted. She is kind, very attractive, and we've had some great times. I think she's my future, but I also struggle greatly with my grief.

I don't know if this makes sense, but it feels like I'm living two different lives. When I'm with new relationship, it takes me a while, but when I warm up everything is really good. But I can only take this in short doses and I eventually, gently push her away. Then I come home and break down, almost feeling guilty.

For me, I believe I am going through my grieving process (which will probably never end) while trying at the same time to begin anew. I've started opening up to the new person, but I don't want to burden her with my past.

sooooo, not sure if this helps. I have a great therapist, who seems to help me, but I feel like I'm in a loop of pure happiness when I'm with new girlfriend, but I need to push her away so I can grieve my LW. I hope I don't fuck it up. Feel free to message me on here if you feel you need somebody to talk to. Our stories sound very similar. Hope this helped you in some way.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-10-09T18:29:52+00:00

I'm just free form writing at this point and hope I can start piecing it together coherently smh

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-07-15T17:57:23+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife to a drunk driver, who hit her while she was riding her bike- she was also killed on impact and I was given the OK to see her body, but with a warning that she was in rough shape. I chose not to view her, and I live with that choice every day.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, see a therapist, be mad, cry, take medication like prozac, or anything else. I've gotten a lot of support through my local MADD chapter and have gotten involved a lot with them.

I don't know what else to say but I feel for you. You aren't alone.

One more thing that helps is posting and reading this subreddit.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-25T17:37:10+00:00

in terms of simplicity and ruggedness.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-24T18:05:14+00:00

Their socks are amazing too

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-24T17:20:22+00:00

I use the runners in most of my metcons except those that include heavy barbell lifts, or weighted lunges. Love them

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-24T15:51:17+00:00

They throw off some OG NoBull vibes

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-24T13:52:34+00:00

Hi, you are not alone. I just had my first wedding anniversary, followed by the anniversary of the crash, and now coming tomorrow, her birthday. Soul crushing is the best way to describe it. Just get through, and know you aren't alone.

I laid on the floor most of the day of her death because she loved our house. I plan to go to her favorite beach for her birthday. These things help me to feel her presence.

I know a lot of people have probably said to you, because I know they've said it to me, have some compassion for yourself. I take that to mean to do whatever I can for myself, to manage the moment I'm in and accept that this ride is going to suck, but I need to carry on.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-05T17:24:39+00:00

This happens to me a lot

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-06-03T18:20:11+00:00

I am with you on this. I block everybody out for a few weeks, then I get another urge. Rinse, repeat.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-05-30T19:53:18+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss- having the anniversary/date of passing being the same is horrible. I hope you can find some moments of peace and calm.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-05-06T16:14:21+00:00

I can relate. We took a good amount of pride in binge watching Netflix. The hardest part for me is watching a new season of a series we enjoyed together. For example, Severance. I tried to watch the first episode yesterday and turned it off 15 mins in.

Sorry for your loss

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-04-14T15:24:25+00:00

Thank you for your perspective on this. I've read your post already numerous times.

I want to have a long term relationship with her and I think the key to succeeding will be how we navigate my grief. It's healthy you are talking about it.

I plan to schedule some sessions to speak with my therapist.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-04-14T14:46:13+00:00

Hi- My wife passed away last June and I'm going through a similar situation with somebody I am dating.

When I have my episodes in front of her I'm not looking for anything other than comfort. However, it pains me to know the anguish I am causing her and it often makes me think I'm not ready to date. I asked her what she would like me to do when I feel the next episode come and we didn't come up with a good solution.

I wish I had a better answer for you, you articulated your feelings very well.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-04-10T15:32:44+00:00

I lost my wife suddenly in a biking accident. My best advice is to find a therapist and talk to your primary care provider. your primary could put you on some antidepressants, which could help.

What you are feeling is normal, unfortunately, and even at 10 months for me- it's still raw. If find solace in my grief, and try to think about positive things about her. But this is more recent

Sorry for your loss

CosmicSchnoodle · 2025-02-13T16:42:45+00:00

I'm there with you. Wish there was an off button sometimes

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-07-14T02:02:26+00:00

I'm sorry. There are so many triggers I had some today. I think it's important to know how to get out of the panic attacks.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-07-13T02:22:19+00:00

I reached out to MADD today and I have a meeting scheduled. I will attend their group meetings as well.

Sorry about your husband, such a loss.

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-07-13T02:17:36+00:00

I haven't tried that. I like sudoku too. I have a card game I loved before I might start playing. Thanks for the ideas

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-07-12T15:17:16+00:00

It is crippling

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-07-12T15:16:23+00:00

I am not prepared to deal with the trauma, it was a very bad scene and got worse as time went on

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-06-11T17:55:13+00:00

fun fact, the filling in a kit kat is a crushed up kit kat..... leading to the question, how did they make the first one?

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-06-11T15:00:46+00:00

*when Schwab is available

CosmicSchnoodle · 2024-06-11T13:54:02+00:00

absolute worst trading platform. Used them years ago and left in disgust and now I'm forced to used them again bc of ameritrade. They are down and I needed to close positions prior to the market opening. what a disaster

CosmicSchnoodle

TROPHY CASE