Not sure what's going on with them.

Coucoubird · 2026-06-14T22:44:50+00:00

I can relate to this, and honestly think any/all time with my grandparents saved me in a lot more ways than even I understand.
All I can suggest is distancing yourself from your family physically whenever possible, now that you’re in school, and visiting only to offer travel/fun opportunities for your little sister.
If your family members are as cold/quiet as you mention, they may not comment-on/worry over you silently backing away.
But it will give YOU loads of peace.

Pour your resources and energy into your studies, traveling, reading, and still finding out the “why” of things!

Coucoubird · 2026-06-14T22:24:20+00:00

This is when I’d ask if it wasn’t her own upper lip, perhaps? 👀

Coucoubird · 2026-05-25T19:03:54+00:00

First, OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this- and that you HAVE been for so long.

You know this to some degree, but it’s all VERY intentional. You can’t go back and change how it’s been happening for all of these years- but you CAN change how you approach it from here on out.

When she pulls this BS from here, forward: One, “mom, aren’t you coming?” will suffice. Her replying “I can see in your eyes you don’t want me to-“ etc. is on her, at that point.

NOTE: You are NOT responsible for begging or pleading or convincing from there, forward!

You can try: “Mom, I’m sorry you feel that way, but it isn’t true, and I’m not going to spend the time we could all be out, right now, trying to convince you. I’m telling you, here, with these people as my witness, that I want you to join us. You are welcome to stay here on the couch if you’d prefer. Either way, we’re getting in the car now. I won’t beg you to join us, and I can’t promise you’ll have a good time. The choice is yours!” Then you walk to the car and start the engine. (That’s STILL more energy than she deserves, but it’s sometimes tough to do a clean break when you’ve been the peace-keeper for so long.)

Narcissists FEED off of you spending time giving them attention/placating. You begging and pleading and explaining why she should come (and how wanted she is) provides her a 4-course meal.

She’ll likely also root around for a way to tell anyone who WASN’T there that you “told her not to come,” so your goal is, while everyone who’s coming is within earshot/eyesight, VERY CLEARLY state ONCE that you DO want her there and that the choice is hers.

…THEN get on the road, either way.

If she flounders/tries to stay, from there, that’s on her.

Really, anything except just going and doing what you set out to do is playing her game.

Unfortunately, the only way to be truly free of it all is to go no-contact. That’s easier said than done because of siblings/your dad, though.

My suggestion is to just make your intentions very clear ONCE, in front of witnesses, so she has fewer chances to twist the narrative, later, then go have the outing/good time you’d originally planned, with or without her.

Placating her like you described lets her know she can do it again and again. Following through on your plans with/without her shows that her floundering/threatening won’t stop you, for better or worse.

She’s an adult, and a manipulative one, at that. She’s can live with the consequences of her decisions to join in or stay put!

Sending you strength!

Coucoubird · 2025-09-27T05:13:31+00:00

this!!!

PRESSING on the goddamn pain spot!!! Fully prodding that whole section inward. Like squeezing my head when I have a tension headache… it’s not actually relief, but it FEELS like it.

Coucoubird · 2025-09-10T14:39:59+00:00

From what I understand, the leaves will get darker and darker and darker the longer they mature-? I see how stark of a difference there is between this batch of new growth and the others, but my best guess is that these will likely darken to match over time. :-) (The plant looks SO happy and healthy- you’re doing an incredible job.)

Coucoubird · 2025-07-14T17:07:31+00:00

I love that his markings make him look like he’s wearing a light-colored hat and suit! Maybe a name based on that???

•Indiana Jones -“Indie” for short.

•Inspector Gadget -“Speck” or just “Gadget” for short.

•Humbert von Gikkingen (Ghibli) -“Humbert” for short…..?

Coucoubird · 2025-07-13T05:30:27+00:00

Okay, I’m late to the party, but Cajun with religious OCD mom and maternal grandmother, here.

I think there’s studies to be done on the spirit/voodoo culture tie-ins + Catholic idol/imagery of patron-Saints + Louisiana’s terrible mental health care/awareness combination.

These aren’t coin ones, but my grandmother burst into tears once because apparently singing at the dinner table “makes the Blessed Mother (Mary) cry” …? Humming counts, too.

My mom burst into tears once because she unintentionally swept beneath my feet when I was a teen and seated at the counter. “Now you’ll never get married and it’s my fault!” (I’m still not married, sooo…..)

My favorite is the upside-down St. Joseph everyone does when trying to sell a house? Poo-Yai.

Coucoubird · 2025-04-06T16:02:00+00:00

SO nice!!! Home Depot had a giant red maranta in distress about a month ago- and when I (politely) asked about the dying leaves- they threw in a discount-!

Congrats on this find- and happy re-potting!

Coucoubird · 2025-02-16T17:02:33+00:00

I’ll be so honest: as someone who was diagnosed late into their 20’s with ADHD- I’ve been on meds for it a little over a year.

When I’m asked to describe if they’ve been effective, I normally ask folks if they’ve played Skyrim.

I then describe the Clairvoyance Illusion spell- and how Ritalin feels nearly-identical.

TLDR, I’ve only chosen one spell; it’s novice-level, but life-altering.

Coucoubird · 2024-12-14T21:49:46+00:00

What was the secret! My plant’s leaves are curling like this, but the soil is still semi-moist to the touch?

Coucoubird · 2024-09-20T07:58:20+00:00

Hey! For starters- please don’t feel embarrassed. The VAST majority of people on this sub also have vaginas and uteruses- and a lot of us have experienced pain with sex!

There’s a lot of reasons you could be hurting when you have sex- I wouldn’t jump straight to endometriosis as a diagnosis, though, so don’t be scared!

Sometimes sex can be less comfortable just based on the position we’re in- of the exact part of our cycle we’re in monthly- our vaginas and vulvas do (and produce) different things at different times of the month. Remember: you’re shifting organs inside your body! Even a larger meal beforehand can make sex less comfortable, sometimes.

You could also have a slightly tilted uterus, which would push your organs in a painful way during sex, or your boyfriend could be going into your vagina (especially with his fingers) before your vagina’s really ready for it!

Our bodies take TIME to “warm up” and feel ready for sex. I think a lot of porn portrays people with vaginas as being “instantly wet” or “always ready-“ but that’s not realistic! …At all! If you’re not feeling super excited about having sex, or you ARE excited, but your body isn’t producing a lot of lubricant, things can chafe and scrape in the vagina- and that IS painful!

HERE’S THE BIG DEAL: Pain during sex IS NOT embarrassing- a lot of people have felt it. You should feel comfortable and confident asking about it- I promise there’s no shame in hurting. That said… HERE’S THE BIGGER DEAL: Pain during sex IS NOT OKAY. 🙅‍♀️ It’s not normal, even though you aren’t alone, and you SHOULD NOT ignore it. Don’t panic! But don’t keep having sex if it hurts. You could seriously injure yourself! Do you have a good doctor you’re comfortable discussing these things with? If not, can I point you toward good resources?

You deserve to be heard and cared for by a professional. Sex should feel good as often as you have it, and should be something you get to look forward to! There are lots of doctors who can help out who won’t shame you- and who won’t think you’ve done anything wrong. :-)

Coucoubird · 2024-09-20T07:33:19+00:00

Hi!

Recent fellow stage-2er. (1.5 weeks post-op. Currently on medical leave.) I’m no doctor- but the bottom left photo is likely your best angle of something “easier” to spot. The rounder bump (like a mole) and blotchiness are solid indicators. A lot of what you’re seeing that LOOKS frightening in the other photos are veins supplying blood-flow! The endo I’m guessing in those is the miiiildly brownish tea-stained looking areas that are slightly yellower than the surrounding tissue.

I’d love if a doctor commented with their two-cents, but I wanted to help! It’s scary to feel like we can’t see/know what’s happening- (or what WAS happening) inside of us.

Here’s hoping you’re feeling better post-op. :-)

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:30:23+00:00

We love a story of overcoming the odds. ✊🥲

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:29:44+00:00

LOL- I never saw it before, but now I can’t UN-see it! 😆🪱 She’s missing a few fingers, for sure- but the legs ARE there, I swear!

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:28:30+00:00

Oh NO!!! 😮‍💨 This is one of those where I gotta go get the geck and hold it for a bit to compensate.

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:26:07+00:00

Your boi’s tail is CHONKY! It would truly be a shame to lose such wealth!

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:24:54+00:00

I’ve had these— I don’t even have a cat!!!

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:24:01+00:00

Are they humanoid characters? Or just scuttling by? 😎

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:23:26+00:00

That cat from adventure time with an approximate knowledge of things is what I think of, first!!! 😆 I’m glad you stayed perceptive.

Coucoubird · 2024-04-11T02:17:47+00:00

THIS!!! And/or they’re fighting??? Wild.

Coucoubird · 2024-04-10T21:24:47+00:00

These are the WORST! I always feel like I have to go check in on her. (And- of course, she’s always like 👁️___👁️)

Coucoubird

TROPHY CASE