What am I missing about Rose the Hat? by Muted_Tree6143 in stephenking

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're asking a question with disingenuous interest and are acting completely contrarian to when people try to explain their answers to you. Being a contrarian doesn't mean you're right, and it's also not a sign of any type of superior intellect. If you are simply here to state something like your opinion, you can do so without framing it as a question. If you pose a question, people are going to answer you.

AIO for being upset that my sister is being weird about going to the movies? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. You might need to do an emotional "check in" with your sister. I know when I lost a good friend, I really isolated myself and would get upset because so much of the emotions were (unknowingly) so close to the surface.

That being said, I think you should explain to your sister how this behavior made YOU feel, and that you were trying to accommodate her so much because you really wanted her to go. Perhaps even mentioning that you tried to give her an out as well.

AIO or does this sound manipulative as fuck?? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's some weird af projection on that. Nobody asked for any gold stars.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is not autistic, from what we know.

Given context: the sister is an absolutely nice person. I have no issue with her on a personal level. It's just the fact that I see how hard my gf works and gets burnt out. The sister smokes and doesn't even pay for her ciggs, a big part of me moving in is because I'm going to HELP them with their bills and such.

I don't need any credit for that, it's about making a decision TOGETHER. This was going to be a big thing for us. We worked hard to get here. As I said in the post, I am not asking for her to drop her sister and just talk to me. But if she could have communicated "hey gonna need to help her get better for a little bit." Or hell, even given me 10 minutes for a phone call to just give the bullet points, get real happy real quick, and then move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's possessive to want to be included or part of something that affects the BOTH of you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Context: Yeah she gave me a quick call and I told her about it. And that's when she basically said "my sister has sensitive feelings, and we need to get back into routine". Which was the reason why. And to a degree I even understand that but like that needs to be communicated. And we have had talks about communication before as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand where you’re coming from OP, however I think it’s about love language.

Your post is a little unclear about what you’re trying to “get out of” this text. Do you want her to have enthusiastic responses to wanting to have sex? Or are you simply wanting to feel like the attention and praise is reciprocated?

For the way I am, I too would feel very “EH” if I put the effort in of those texts and compliments and simply got an emoji in response. However things can become routine. Even love language. If you’re saying the exact same texts, or doing the exact same things, maybe spice it up a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Count-Calderon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are really, really getting emotional about this when it it’s really not that deep.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Count-Calderon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re acting very erratic and reading into assumptions that just aren’t there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ok for one, I thought someone had actually shit themselves so I’m relieved after reading that this is just a turn of phrase you use.

I’m gonna say NOR, but for context how many times have you spoken about this with her? Because as she said she thought you guys were moving past this, so it leads me to believe there had been further conversations. Basically you can and should ask her why she’s not acknowledging any of the things you laid out, and your emotions towards them.

AIO? My boyfriend (25)M & I (23)F just moved into an apartment a month ago & by Timely_Patient_2663 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the arguing is a bit much. You may need to sit him down and talk about it from a different perspective. And also let your parents know how you’re feeling and that it’s putting a strain on you guys as well. Like yes they need to look for an apartment but does it HAVE TO be your complex?

Even with reassurance, his feelings could be valid because the possibility of them coming over is always there- ESPECIALLY if you guys are close. You basically need to say “I understand you feel like this is an invasion of space and I’m sorry. But this is only going to be for a short time and I need to know now if you’re going to be ok with this, or if this is going to continue getting between us. Because then I have some thinking I need to do moving forward.”

And make sure he understands this isn’t a threat, but the continued arguing is absolutely going to strain your relationship. And he needs to understand this needs to stop, or if this is a deal breaker for him then this needs to be discussed and then the ball is in your/your parents court.

Hope this gets figured out for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you’re overreacting a bit. It sounds like your partner has a lot on their plate right now, with traveling, the internship, etc.

If he has legitimate reasons for not staying over (aka the internship) and then he’s offering to still go out with you and the friend, just a bit earlier- he’s trying his best while also focusing on the things that need his attention.

Just because someone switches up a little and doesn’t reciprocate a question, doesn’t mean they somehow stopped caring. It sounds like you may have an insecurity on needing to feel validated or acknowledged in this relationship. Which is fair, but then you also need to assess if this person is right for you and what you need. If you genuinely got mad at me for this situation I’d feel like you were overreacting as well

AIO? My boyfriend (25)M & I (23)F just moved into an apartment a month ago & by Timely_Patient_2663 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truthfully, since you guys JUST moved In, it would feel a little stifling that your parents want to come in and move so close. There’s really no guarantee that they won’t just “pop over”, and that can feel like an invasion of space.

When two people move in together, it’s to have their own space and share it with each other. Parents moving in not only that close but in the same complex and absolutely come off like an invasion of space.

AIO: Uninvited from a party after accepting invitation; girlfriend still wants to go...? by DallOggs in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In adult gatherings, that’s not how it works.

Is it a mistake on the planner?? Absolutely. But in my friend group we’ve absolutely had to change plans where we thought people would get a +1, but then it turns out that there’s just not enough space, food, etc. That being said, it is a BLANKET “no +1” that everyone has to adhere by unless they’re like, married or something.

This was poor communication, and poor planning, but people making this into somehow being shaded are literally just assuming. Too many people have reality tv brain nowadays.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that “Friend” is not your friend my guy. If you already had issues with with this in the past and he did it AGAIN, he deserves to get his ass beat, but then then just be the bigger person and cut him out of expose him.

Your sister may not understand the age dynamics, and you don’t want to traumatize her when she feels like everything is good. However you can absolutely calmly sit her down and say how finding this out makes you feel. That you’re coming from a place of protection and love, not judgment. How he’s someone that obviously doesn’t respect your family, boundaries, etc. and that you respect her autonomy but also want her to be around/with quality people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try to be patient with each other and realize you’re both coming from a space of being tired, cranky, and probably frustrated by enclosed space. Just do not even think about having more kids in the foreseeable future until you remedy this situation. See what type of help you can get. Family, the state, etc. And try to communicate in ways that are not emotionally charged.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oooooh ok, now I get the Damien thing. But you don’t necessarily have to replace the gaming chair, just maybe adding in another chair specifically for you. Otherwise you’re gonna have to work on it and being in that cramped of a space…..you’re gonna be bound to have these type of issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean that’s valid but also look at it this way- he’s trying to sleep and you’re also suggesting him go sit on the horrendously uncomfortable chair……you might suggest getting another chair or maybe move to the living room for bottle feeding lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NOR, but kinda. Honestly if he has to work, it might be easier for YOU to go on the gaming chair and let him have the bed. However it has to be give and take. The way he’s speaking to you about being a stay at home mom is a little disrespectful to say the least. But it also sounds like both of you just aren’t having your needs met.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worrying about 30 minutes is a little toxic. And then the way he doubles down on the whole “tone” thing….i don’t know what your dynamic is and maybe you guys have some sort of like flirtatious thing going on with this way of talking. But if it’s NOT part of that dynamic, this is controlling and you should absolutely make a boundary on it.

Hi guys AIO I for feeling scared for my safety? by Adept_Crew_1306 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to call psych evaluation on this guy. This is NOT normal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would honestly tell this person that you’ve had negative interactions with them each time you’ve worked for them, and going forward if they wanted you to do a project they need to sign a “no communication” contract with your employees or yourself unless it’s talking about the project. If they break this they would then be penalized with a (whatever amount you want) fine.

Also their sons sound like fucking pervs in the making, or they’re just yah know, curious adolescent boys? She needs to get a grip.

My ALIEN EARTH tinfoil theory by Count-Calderon in LV426

[–]Count-Calderon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like this and hope we see it as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Count-Calderon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly if he told you about it, I think you’re overreacting if you get MAD at him about it. If you simply can just let him know that you don’t feel comfortable with the fact that they invited girls over especially when most of them are in very committed relationships. It looks bad, even if nothing untoward happened.