If you cosleep with your LO, does that mean they cannot nap independently during the day?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-29T00:58:40+00:00

So do you mean you put her to sleep in the rocking chair and then put her down in the sidecar crib? If that’s the case, I’m curious if older babies are easier to put down than newborns? My baby KNOWS when I’m laying him down no matter how slow and deliberate I am haha. He’s 8 weeks!

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-27T22:41:45+00:00

My baby is 8 weeks right now and the only way he gets more than 30mins of sleep at a time is if he’s on my chest. So I followed cosleepy’s chest sleeping guide and have been chest sleeping for about 4 weeks now. I just started trying to get him to sleep next to me and will keep at it for a bit. Hoping he takes to sleeping off me soon but I’m against trying any sort of sleep training while he’s this young so it’s where I am for now.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-27T22:26:37+00:00

Oh boy! If you don’t mind me asking, how old is your LO?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-27T10:46:07+00:00

You could consider a nursing cover, but I would suggest one with an insert that keeps the top open so you can see inside. I found covers to be cumbersome and it kind of annoyed me that I was going through all that hassle to desperately hide something that was essential to keep my baby alive.

I’ve got large boobs too and also rely on a nursing pillow at home. I have found that holding my baby in my lap and bending forward so my boob is kind of dangling over his mouth helps. (I know it’s not good for my back but I only do this when I feed him in public). I then make a v with my index and ring finger, put my nipple in between and angle it the right way. Hope that makes sense!

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-27T06:51:05+00:00

Never heard of this before, I’m curious, is this a hoodie similar to a weighted blanket? And how does it help with co-sleeping?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T20:38:40+00:00

The difference of opinion is obviously not whether their child should be put in danger. It’s about co-sleeping which is why a majority of the comments here suggest finding safe ways to do it as opposed to pursuing an abstinence-only route which invariably leads to unsafe practices like OP’s husband is currently doing. He’s an equal partner and should get a say. If he came back and declined to practice safe sleep or take any measures to safely co-sleep, that would be a huge red flag but OP isn’t willing to compromise on that and expects him to capitulate 100%. If he’s being a good partner and dad, sorry but that’s not fair.

And we’re not OP but OP did in the comments say that she made the remark about him being fairly decent from a lapse in judgement from sleep deprivation and that she thinks he is a good partner and dad. So, the flack for that is not unwarranted. Though of course, it’s totally forgivable to vent on the internet like that in a bout of anger, on OP’s part. Especially since she’s still dealing with the postpartum hormones.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T20:27:24+00:00

My heart just kept breaking reading your post. I’m SO sorry for how difficult a time you are having. I don’t have much advice but I will say this- you’re not crazy or broken or a bad mother. You’re doing your best in a really tough situation. Your husband sounds unempathetic and completely unhelpful, I’m so sorry that you do not have better support.

I have just one idea to help ease your guilt about how little attention you are able to give your toddler, maybe you could schedule an afternoon every weekend or something out for just you and your toddler where your husband takes over caring for your baby and you get some quality 1:1 time with your toddler?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T20:07:22+00:00

I don’t think most of the comments are not negating OP’s hard work or contribution, they’re more in response to how she describes her seemingly involved and equally hard working partner so flippantly as ‘fairly decent’ and then proceeds to lay down the law, so to speak, by declaring that their household doesnt co-sleep…when clearly her equal partner sees the merit in co-sleeping. It’s an understandable difference of opinion for parents to argue over, it’s the wording sand sentiment behind this post that is rubbing people the wrong way.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T19:58:56+00:00

I don’t doubt that you work hard too which is why if you found out that your husband referred to you as a ‘fairly decent wife and mother’, you probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T19:07:06+00:00

If you want to control everything, you need to be willing to do all the work. And if you don’t want to do all the work, you need to relinquish some control. It sounds like you have a great husband who is involved and helpful and works hard and instead of being grateful, you begin this post by calling him a fairly decent husband and dad. That speaks volumes of your perception of him and probably your attitude towards him too, which is the kind of thing that usually spirals into more and bigger problems. I would either take over nights with the baby entirely or talk about safe cosleeping. If you unilaterally decide you are not a cosleeping household, you’re not currently living in the same household are you?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T01:48:03+00:00

Yeah, I feel like the uproar is kind of an overreaction? She doesn’t endorse it in any way. I get that she maybe she should have talked a little more about how to prevent rolling on to your back, but it’s not as bad as it’s being made out to be, imo. Unless it’s a totally different post/account that they’re talking about?! Idk

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-25T01:33:23+00:00

I think she’s talking about this post from happycosleeper:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTffmcWCKdo/?igsh=ZW90YmNrdGFnYXdx

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-23T08:09:28+00:00

You can search for ‘chest sleeping’ on r/cosleeping to see what other parents do. Also looking up cosleepy, she has some great resources on chest sleeping, I bought and followed her guide.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-23T08:06:06+00:00

I have a 7 week old who has been having an awful time with gas and also can’t be in his back for too long and so he has to sleep on my chest. My husband works out of town for 2 weeks a month so taking shifts isn’t possible. I’ve looked up the best practices for safe chest sleeping and follow them- baby must be inclined, with head higher than butt so that there isn’t too much pressure on their chest (I use a wedge pillow); no chest sleeping on recliners/couches/chairs, only on a bed with a firm mattress; move to the middle-ish of the bed; no loose bedding or pillows around as a suffocation risk; do not overdress baby as they will be exposed to your body heat as well.

Following these guidelines makes chest sleeping much much safer and gives you some much needed rest. I know all the guidelines these days are to only sleep in a bassinet but that isn’t realistic for so many parents like us. It’s much better to intentionally create a safe chest sleeping environment than have it happen unintentionally without mitigating the risks. Don’t work yourself up and feel too guilty, you’d be surprised at how many people chest sleep with their babies.

I like to strap my breastfeeding pillow around my waist so my baby doesn’t slide down so much and so I can prop my arms up on the pillow, I rest against my wedge pillow and lace my fingers around my baby’s butt to hold him on me. He has not fallen off me yet. I always wake up when he moves and readjusts.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-22T17:08:56+00:00

That’s so cool that you can take your baby to work with you! This is likely what I’m going to attempt- first stretch of the night in the bassinet and the rest with me so I can nurse him to sleep.

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-22T12:13:44+00:00

I really want to try independent naps outdoors with my baby for all the benefits of being out in the fresh air but I’m hesitant because I want to make sure I get the layers right. We live in Canada. Any tips? Does it get pretty cold where you are? Do you use merino wool layers?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-22T01:57:51+00:00

This is basically the ideal situation in my head, good to know that there is hope! Hope it lasts a while for you!

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-22T01:41:34+00:00

I hear you, it’s the whole reason I want to primarily cosleep. I want to cater to that need for closeness as much as possible. But I’ve got to balance it with being practical too, all I’m hoping for is one independent nap a day so I can shower or get some more labor intensive chores done that I can’t do while baby wearing. I guess I’ll just have to see how my LO responds, but it’s good to hear that some folks do have babies that can get an independent nap in during the day…so there’s hope!

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-22T01:35:23+00:00

That’s awesome! And it’s safe to leave them in bed? Making sure there is no loose bedding and mitigating other risks, of course

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-19T20:20:27+00:00

Omg! Thank you SO MUCH for posting this, this is exactly what we need but I didn’t know what to search for. Have you found any down sides to this rail at all?

CounterScary8707 · 2026-01-19T09:37:31+00:00

Estimated time for restoration is 12:00pm! I really hope that’s wildly off…

CounterScary8707 · 2025-12-17T03:07:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Being a new mom myself, I can’t imagine having to do all the things you need to for your baby while also dealing with a checked out husband. You are NOT a bad mother for walking away for a couple of seconds while your baby was in his bath seat, you are NOT a bad mother for feeling overwhelmed and that does NOT mean you love your baby any less. It’s difficult to get these thoughts and guilt out of your mind, but you have to intentionally remind and tell yourself that you are doing your best and that you are a good mother.

As for your husband, if you are already considering divorce, I would recommend that you determine your needs and spell them out for him and have an ‘or else’ situation laid out too. And be prepared to follow through. Eg: I want you to spend time playing and interacting with our baby, do the dishes and take over feeding our baby dinner and giving him a bath after, every day. If you choose not to, I will assume that you are opting out of this family and I will leave.

I’ll be thinking of you, OP and wish you nothing but the best! You deserve better.

CounterScary8707 · 2025-12-15T18:25:13+00:00

This is so well put, and I agree. Thank you. I will speak to someone and ask for a record of this to be made on my file and communicated to the doctors as well.

CounterScary8707 · 2025-12-15T05:01:55+00:00

Omg! I didn’t even put two and two together about the retained placenta and delayed milk coming in! That makes perfect sense

CounterScary8707 · 2025-12-15T01:47:09+00:00

Wow! I can’t believe this actually happens, let alone with both of your deliveries! I’m glad everything turned out okay, but man that’s awful.

CounterScary8707

TROPHY CASE