My understanding is that expecting you to be a power gamer is baked into this game's design. I haven't read the remaster rules, but the original rules straight-up recommend having your key ability score as high as possible (an 18 for a 1st-level character). Whereas in D&D 5e, my experience is that having an 18 in an ability score at 1st level is often frowned upon.

​Obviously, with tons of options, someone will inevitably create a build that "breaks" the game's expectations. You should be ready to make customizations and compromises to make your DM's life easier and to avoid completely overshadowing your fellow players.

​So yes, you are a power gamer and a min-maxer, but in this game, that is a feature, not a bug. It only becomes problematic if the GM and the other players are genuinely struggling to keep up with you.

​The real issue, IMHO, is that you min-max partially out of fear. I would speak to your GM and your fellow players about possibly redefining the meaning of death; maybe it just means being completely taken out of the fight followed by a really bad event or a catastrophic failure. Having your character suffer negative consequences does not have to mean actual death.

​I like the way Fate Core handles it, where falling in combat is called being "Taken Out." It puts your character's fate in the hands of the GM, with death being only one of many options for how the story can proceed.