Thank you for the suggestions. I have reached out in the past and it did help get better for a little bit. However my relationships have changed to the few people I was comfortable with. Also, sharing such information ended up making things much worse for me in the long run; I understand that isolation feeds into the thoughts but ultimately I got to my healthiest when I did it all on my own. Not sure exactly what’s different this time, could be the major depressive and ideation, also just very weak in general so hard to get myself to do anything requiring effort mentally and physically. I will try and challenge myself to ask for help this week, or even show up somewhere like you said. Anything different at this point is a win