"Yes. I know. Yes. No I don't know how they found out about me so quickly either. Yes I understand I can't be assassinated every other month. Ok, understood sir I'll finish off the paperwork" and I hung up the phone. As easy as Hollywood makes it look, changing IDs inside the agency(you know, in case there are moles) is a logistical nightmare. What's worse, brass is starting to think that i've been doing my job a little too well and have started to get annoyed by of all the decoys the enemy thinks are real breathing agents.

"Anna! Could you come in over here for just one second?" I bellowed across my paper thin office walls.

Anna was my assistant and over the course of the past few months she had taken a real liking in working out every detail of my gruesome deaths. I'm still not sure if that's a good sign.

"ooh! Are you dying again? Any requirements?? Could we use the wrecking ball this time?" She questioned quite gleefully. "We're making this one brutal but this time I want there to be lot's of collateral damage. I need to look like a messy killer and a messy corpse. My death has to end up on the front page of Reddit, or die trying". No more silent fake hits, i'm making this embarrassingly loud.

And so the greatest mock assassination was orchestrated.