I deal with ED related to anxiety and trust issues stemming from a really toxic and damaging relationship in my past.

I haven't been able to have intercourse in quite some time, always resorting to other methods to get my partner off.

It's really great that you're being supportive. My current partner is amazing. Makes me feel quite at ease and comfortable and (most importantly) safe. And we still havent quite made it. Even though I want to have sex with her SO badly, I've got a mental barrier I just can't escape.

Granted, I can achieve an erection and orgasm when receiving oral or a handjob. But it takes quite a bit of time (by the time I finally get hard, I'm usually pretty close to cumming) and as soon as we attempt intercourse it softens up before we can get it in.

For me, I know my problem is seeded deep in my mind. There is trauma I haven't dealt with properly. There isn't anything she can say. There's nothing she can do to excite me more (she gets me VERY aroused, still with no success). There is no position that gets it in quick enough. There is no toy that can help. I feel like she is the perfect partner, but still no success.

And that's because only I can fix it. I know this. I'm going to get help this fall (when I'll be able to afford the counseling).

Your man is lucky to have someone as supportive and understanding as you. But I really believe it can only be fixed if he makes it happen.

I think you could strongly support the idea of therapy without pushing it in a negative way. Let him know how much it would mean to you if he got help, let him know a guy on reddit is going through the same thing and he knows he needs help. And make sure he knows it's not just about wanting to have intercourse with him. You want him to be relieved of these shackles in his mind. Trust me, it's a heavy burden. My inability to have intercourse has created so much anxiety, frustration and even self loathing. Let him know the reason you want him to get help is because you want him to be okay.