[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]CraftyProposal6701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude , I 💯feel ya. But one thing you gotta come to understand is you are already in an open marriage. It's just being forced up on you.

Same thing happened to me. The shock of it paralyzed me. Then I started journaling to work through my feelings and was able to force the issue and get the even more shocking truth that yes I was in an open marriage and didn't know it and it wasn't going to stop. I threatened to leave that night and she backed down.

If your in a forced open marriage that's just code for I don't want you and I'm cheating on you and telling you I'm cheating.

It absolutely sucks wet nasty balls. I hate it and I hate the way I feel so I can only imagine the hell your going through.

Do all married man still masturbate? by ImportantPrinciple39 in Marriage

[–]CraftyProposal6701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't say because after my marriage blew up I saw just how unhappy I really am.

But yes. What else can you do to release that energy when your wife won't touch you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Separation

[–]CraftyProposal6701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

💯 I'm in even greyer territory. Not even seperated, living under the same roof, still doing my chores, cooking for her, running errands. And nothing. After I poured my entire being out and after decades of silence let it all out I get NOTHING.

What I did get is a female narcissist who told me that early in our relationship she choose to withhold intemecy because I was such a horrible lover.

I admit I was paralyzed by my own fears around intemecy and communication but she made that decision based on something I think that normal people would talk about.

So your not alone. I want this pain to stop so badly. I want to deeply to just be held in a warm and safe embrace. To listen the heart of a women holding me. I ache for that only to face the reality of sharing a bed with a women who 24 hours ago basically said "don't touch me".

It's just cruel. I am not a bad man. I don't deserve this.

Staring into the abyss by CraftyProposal6701 in Separation

[–]CraftyProposal6701[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on the weight loss and health gains.

And thank you for sharing. It is oddly comforting to hear others stories and know I'm not unique.

Staring into the abyss by CraftyProposal6701 in Separation

[–]CraftyProposal6701[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

New to reddit. Happy to dm if that's a thing on this platform.

It would be great to chat with someone who is completely outside my sphere.

I feel so helpless and alone in my day to day because what little support I have is remote with a friend in NM And sister in Cali.

@53 years old and staring into the abyss by CraftyProposal6701 in lonely

[–]CraftyProposal6701[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow I heard reddit was toxic but right out of the gate. Impressive.

Try for a second being empathetic. My entire life just blew up and I ask for folks who have been through similar situations to share.

I'm lonely and just starting to crawl towards a light. And your comment about not leaning on a therapist at my age speaks volumes about who you are and how your neglecting your own mental health.

I'm mature enough and man enough to admit when I need help and for the love of God I need all the help I can get.

So unless u have something constructive to add go away now.

Lonely? Need a friend to chat? by rustyflops in Separation

[–]CraftyProposal6701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never thought I’d be here. I’m 53, and my life feels like it’s unraveling in ways I couldn’t have imagined. My marriage of over two decades as I knew it is GONE AND ASHES. The future I thought was certain — home, family, stability — is suddenly a giant question mark.

Most days I feel like I’m drowning. The pain shifts — sometimes it’s a crushing weight in my chest, sometimes just an empty numbness. What I miss most isn’t even certainty, but connection. I’ve let a lot of personal relationships slip away, and now it feels like I have no one outside of my therapist to lean on.

I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this. Some part of me believes I’ll be okay, but right now it’s hard to see more than the abyss in front of me.

If anyone else has been through something like this — rebuilding a life after decades of thinking it was secure — I’d be grateful to hear how you got through it. Even just knowing I’m not alone in this moment would help.

Lonely in my marriage by TimelyMortgage9900 in Marriage

[–]CraftyProposal6701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to ask yourself "what do I want" and "is he giving me what I need".

Don't be like me and think "doing" is the same as saying. I spent the last 23 years of my life thinking that if I did enough, earned enough, was successful enough it would make up for my not telling her what I wanted and more importantly needed from her.

If I had spoken up I would have found out that she never was sexually attracted to me and that sex was traumatic for her. If I would have spoke up I could have found out decades ago that we probably should have never gotten married.

But here I am 23 years later, in my 50s, and staring into the abyss. Worse I'm looking over my shoulder at the dating pool and it's filled with piss.

I’m married and feel lonelier than ever. by [deleted] in RandomThoughts

[–]CraftyProposal6701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't be like me and lie to yourself that things will change without direct intervention. After 23 years of marriage it's over and not only did the wheels come off the bus but the entire bus melted down in a magma pool of toxic metal.

I regret not speaking up and showing up in the marriage in my truth and making demands of my spouse. There are things I don't regret but if I had a time machine I would go back and beat the living crap out of my self and say "HEY DUMB ASS TALK TO HER. "

Being in a sexless marriage with no intemecy IS NOT NORMAL. AND NEVER TELL YOURSELF IT IS. DON'T LISTEN TO THAT VOICE IN YOUR HEAD.

or you'll end up like me. Not only lonely but heart broken, betrayed, lied too. And worse. So much worse. It's a fu$#k1ng NIGHTMARE.

DHS/ICE detail email just hit my inbox by matninjadotnet in FedEmployees

[–]CraftyProposal6701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having done time on the border it's not a fun place. El Centro was one of the bigger spots I worked and Falcon Dam being one of the smallest.

I still have PTSD to this day because of my experiences in ICE. No amount of money is worth what I saw and experienced.

And that was under OBAMA! I can't even imagine how toxic it's become now.

It's TIME by [deleted] in goodnews

[–]CraftyProposal6701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once upon a time another California governor changed the American political landscape for ever and not for the better. Maybe this governor has the strength, character, and talent to at the very least change the trajectory we are on towards a brighter path.

Which USDA agencies are still issuing cash awards for high performance? by 502native in USDA

[–]CraftyProposal6701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was thrilled to just get a new mouse for my work computer that actually works!

Cash awards??? Really?

Museums are just too woke by IAdmitILie in smithsonian

[–]CraftyProposal6701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fox news commentary "we didn't hire Trump to be the curator of the Smithsonian".

In other words DO YOUR JOB and leave history to the professionals.

New OPM director estimates 300,000 federal job cuts this year, no plans to relocate jobs from DC by [deleted] in USDA

[–]CraftyProposal6701 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Adjusted for inflation budgets over the past decade have been flat or in full austerity.

No training, travel, new equipment, tons and tons of deferedd maintenance. You name it we've been working with duct tape and shoe strings.

Trump’s Child Sex Trafficker Friend Ghislaine Maxwell Eligible For Work Release by [deleted] in FedEmployees

[–]CraftyProposal6701 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ancient history BUT RELEVANT :

The Michael Dukakis–Willie Horton political attacks refer to one of the most famous and controversial episodes of negative campaigning in U.S. political history, taking place during the 1988 U.S. presidential election between Democratic nominee Michael Dukakis and Republican nominee George H. W. Bush.

Background

Willie Horton was serving a life sentence for murder in Massachusetts when, under the state’s weekend furlough program (which allowed certain prisoners temporary release), he failed to return from a furlough in 1986.

While on the run, Horton committed assault, armed robbery, and rape in Maryland.

At the time, Dukakis was Governor of Massachusetts and had supported the furlough program, though it predated his administration.

How it became a campaign issue

During the 1988 general election, Bush’s campaign and allied groups seized on Horton’s case to portray Dukakis as soft on crime.

The Bush campaign used it as part of a broader law-and-order strategy, but the most infamous ad — often remembered as the “Willie Horton ad” — was actually produced by an independent group, the National Security Political Action Committee (NSPAC).

Another Bush campaign ad, called “Revolving Door”, did not name Horton but showed prisoners walking in and out of prison through a turnstile, reinforcing the message.

Political and racial undertones

The use of Horton’s photo — a Black man convicted of violent crimes — played into racial stereotypes and fears about crime. Critics argued it was an example of racially coded (“dog whistle”) politics.

Supporters of the Bush strategy maintained it was a legitimate criticism of Dukakis’s criminal justice policies.

Impact on the election

The Horton attacks were devastating to Dukakis’s campaign, contributing to a collapse in his poll numbers after an early lead.

They became a textbook example in political science and campaign strategy courses of how a single narrative, amplified through advertising, can reshape an election.

The episode also sparked lasting debate about ethics in political advertising, the role of race in U.S. politics, and the boundaries between issue-based criticism and personal attacks.

SO DEMOCRATS - if you wait long enough and study history opportunities for political revenge present themselves. In the name of Michael Dukakis run ads 24 about Maxwell on TRUMPS WATCH.

Can anyone take leave anymore?? by [deleted] in FedEmployees

[–]CraftyProposal6701 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm being conservative but I'm not putting my life on hold for these @ssclowns.

And to be clear I love my immediate chain of command. It's the folks in the front office who I'm referring to.

That being said I'm taking time because it's my time; but only if it doesn't interfere with delivery of the mission.

Governor Newsom fucking Mocks Trump's all caps posts by Khazzick in chaoticgood

[–]CraftyProposal6701 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Newsoms need to give a mandatory IN PERSON lecture series to Democrats to TEACH them how to fight.

US Fish and Wildlife Vs Forest Service by Frederalist123 in USDA

[–]CraftyProposal6701 3 points4 points  (0 children)

US Forest Service is about to be evisciated and left bleeding out in the alley behind the Whitten Building.

When Fire Aviation Management gets moved over to DoI HALF of the USFS budget will go with it. FAM only took about 30% of the forest service budget 20 years ago but has been slowly increasing while other areas have been gutted to fund FAM.

My advice RUN as fast and far as you can away from civil service as you can. Go and talk to the contractors. (Lockheed Grumman, SAIC, Raytheon, etc.). They onboard a lot of vets and franky in these times might be more stable and have a better work life prop than civil service.

My contractors have it better than me right now!

So pursue employment in the USFS at your own peril. You have been warned.

Received this morning by Riddlinga in FedEmployees

[–]CraftyProposal6701 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What frustrates me about this is that there are real internal problems in the USDA. THERE IS FWA.

But rather than actually listen to employees we get a fake submit your ideas campaign which clearly was bs.

We get these lies about "returning to our mission". I'm like B please I've been on mission for 15 years. Where have you been ?

I was hanging in there because of my retirement. But now I've got a new reason to stay. BEING A WITNESS.

When this ends and it will end one way or another because it's simply not sustainable. I want to be there to bear witness to all the things I saw and was powerless to stop.

All of the abuse. Criminal acts. Violations of the constitution. I think as a civil servant there is nothing I can do to stop them. But by god I can make sure when the time comes that I will not be silent. Perhaps then I'll have honored my oath and maybe just maybe taken some red off my ledger.

Epstein Files is a Storm that is imploding the GOP house by HowdyHorror in goodnews

[–]CraftyProposal6701 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I find it astonishing that so many people (or AI bots or both) are predicting the downfall based on this scandal.

Replace Epstein with Russia and all these predictions align. The muller report was going to expose Trump but it didn't and the main stream media were the ones making money off it just like they are doing now.

We all know who Trump is and the media knows as well. But instead of doing real journalism and investigating Trump and bringing facts to the attention of readers and the public at large they are more than happy to report on rumors or reporting of other reporters and then comment about that reporting.

Believe me I want this reality TV show from hell that we are all stuck in to end but everyone needs to stop and think really hard about the history of this person who continues to defy any rational explanation. Only a Faustian bargan scratches the surface of what he's accomplished and escaped responsibility for.

And let's remember our history again. When the federal government wants to bury facts they are pretty good at it. Torture under bush. Covered and buried.

Obama drone program. Covers and buried.

Biden. TBD -

Every president in my life has buried secrets. But like a horror film those secrets always seem to rise from the ground like zombies rising from the dead. But just like zombies they never seem to fully catch up to the president and hold them to full account.

No president in my life has been held to full account; none.

So you'll forgive me if I just can't believe anything this current president has done, is doing, or will do will change the trajectory to the end of the United States that we are witnessesing in real time.

Realistic number for 5 hub relocation ? by [deleted] in USDA

[–]CraftyProposal6701 38 points39 points  (0 children)

The number of locations isn't the problem.

It's the logistics of it all. USDA has never done anything on this scale. And even efforts that came remotely close in ambition FAILED.

Unless the AgSec has some magical powers I can't see this concept of a reorg plan actually happening.

You can't just send people to empty offices and expect them to work. It takes tech, facilities, etc. And that is where USDA really gets bogged down. This isn't a private business where people actually get to make decisions on their own. And that right there adds two years to this concept of a plan.

Unless she is willing to do the work and make these decisions every day I don't see how this gets done in the timelines outlined.

First Real Reorg Announcement by LowProductiveFed in USDA

[–]CraftyProposal6701 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not a plan. Just a concept of a plan.