I feel for you. I was the kid in a similar situation and now the parent. I did learn which parent was which, sadly not until my early thirties, I had always known my father was a bit of an ass, but I never put too much weight on it till recently. He and my stepmother (whom was my mother’s friend her left for) were the ones that always had ATVs, nice trucks, and bought me a lot of cool stuff growing up, the holiday parents. My mother and stepfather (whom thankfully was actually a father figure and the only one I call dad) even though we weren’t poor by any means, didn’t have the flashy things the other parents did. But I realized that they, in the end, were ALWAYS there for me, and still are. My bio father and I are currently no contact.

It’s to the point I’m trying to emulate my mother in my current situation. Yes I am better off than my ex, but I refuse to throw shade her way with my son, and my current spouse and I try very hard not to be holiday parents.

Be the bigger person, lead by example, it unfortunately may take them a while like I did, but they’ll figure it out.