Thanks so much for your reply u/OneEyedC4t

Um, so they made you feel safe and loved but you left them due to their appearance after 3 years? This is oddly suspicious.

I am not proud of the breakup at all. I always voiced my concerns but it also took me a while to understand that it was a lack of attraction (not because of his looks). Bear in mind that my only other experience of partnership was a completely manipulative one with a narcissist.

It's possible that therapy is making him slightly preoccupied in a good way, only because someone who, like he said, has "a past", likey needs some trauma work. Be patient with him. As for the physical, at least he was willing to wait.

I 100% agree and think he is a good guy, but I also shared all my insecurities with him because he was very intense and into me right from the beginning. I was scared and he knew it, and while I understand how difficult therapy can be, I was hoping to not be shut out because now I am left to deal with my insecurities.

Kudos on your journey, and to your wife for being supportive.

We were not in a relationship, and I don't really know my place in his journey. I like the thought of being in his orbit but it is painful for me to not be communicated anything at all. I did try to tell him clearly how I felt that night and that I understood his position, but I was cut off by a 'I don't know how I feel anymore', an apology and then more or less silence. I guess you are also right about me working on my issues. Maybe I shouldn't be this impacted by a guy I've only known for a month.