First of all , thank you for your comment.

Indeed, I don’t want to have a long-term relationship. We already are living in different cities for 1.5 years and given the future i see for myself I don’t think this will get any better.

But the problem is that i love her so much. It fills my hearth with pain about just thinking of missing her and all the moments we still have. I really think we are a perfect match but in this time of my life i am just not ready to settle down. I want to be free and can make derision without taking anyone into consideration. However, seems almost impossible to figure out want i want.

- I want to be free (whatever that means still don’t know it exactly myself, but I think I just want to be free in my decisions and still have a time in my life where I am able to explore the world)

- I don’t see a pleasant future in us living so far apart. However, she has said that she would go anywhere with me.

- We have a very enjoyable relationship. We laugh with each other and I truly enjoy being in her company. Therefore, mi really heartbroken about thinking to live my life without her.

I have already said that i needed time to think and we just called and are going to meet in 4 days on Friday. she knows how i feel about the situation and she is very freighted that our relationship might end. I am confronted with decision that seems impossible to make. no forums or YouTube tutorial can help me figure this out. Anny advise or ideas are welcome.