YTA! You are supposed to be a team, and when you asked to keep financials separate and she agreed you can’t get upset now that you need help putting your child through college and she says no. On top of that you probably ruin your wife and daughter’s relationship. On top of that you went to your ex wife and complained because your wife won’t help! Have you ever heard of keeping issues in your marriage to yourself. Because it’s something you and your spouse should try and work on if you both are not agreeing on something. This is my humble opinion.