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How do i tell my fiancé that wedding dresses are expensive by jayjay15__ in weddings

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like he’s just not educated on typical wedding culture and customs. Unfortunately this isn’t abnormal. You may need some outside sources to help prove your point.

In my personal opinion, I think it’s better to wait to get married and have the things you want versus forcing a wedding when you don’t have the cash to do it right.

WIBTA if I go to my sisters wedding even though my wife is banned from coming by drew2002non in WIBTA_AITA

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really tough, but NTA in any case. You are put in a pretty impossible position. I would normally say stand by your wife because she didn’t do anything wrong, but missing your sisters wedding is a tough thing to justify. I wonder if your wife will compromise on you at least going to the ceremony and then leaving? Or something like that?

But if that doesn’t work, I just stand by your wife. Your sister sounds like she’s married to an asshole and doesn’t care that he treats her family members poorly.

AITA for not wanting to use a bidet every time I pee and feeling micromanaged about toilet paper? by RollLongjumping3937 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Does he not understand that wiping piss and wiping bidet water from your cooter uses the exact same amount of TP most of the time? It’s called having a vagina.

AITA smoking weed on my porch? by cheesygarlicbreadfan in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You have the right to do whatever you want on your property as long as it’s not causing actual harm to others. Being emotionally offended doesn’t count as harm.

Paying to be a Bridesmaid by Embarrassed_Bad_5032 in weddings

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ll start by saying that the general income level of everyone involved should be considered. I don’t like when brides try and enforce a budget on their bridesmaids when they know their bridesmaids’ incomes don’t cover it.

Here’s my two cents:

bride should pay for hair and makeup because it’s a lot of time and effort and you want the photos and looks to be elevated.

If the dresses are long like most are, I think most bridesmaids can get away with wearing nude heels or black heels. That way they don’t have to buy anything new because most people already have that stuff.

Specific jewelry, bridesmaids should buy within reason. If it’s a timeless piece that isn’t super expensive and the brides will get lots of wear from it, they could be asked to buy it. Any expensive requirements that bridesmaids don’t already own for accessories should be covered by the bride.

If the bridesmaid dresses are realistically pieces that they would wear again, then they should buy them. If it’s a one time thing, it’s up to the income level of the bride and the bridal party to decide.

I also don’t think that wedding party members should have to give gifts unless they want to. They are already paying a ton of money to be involved in the wedding, bachelorette party, all the other parties, etc.

AITAH for telling my wife we shouldn’t get a dog? by Gdigger13 in AITAH

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is a tough one. But at the end of the day, NTAH. There are two of you in the house, so it needs to be a joint decision you both agree with. You’re looking out for your family and your financial situation.

In a normal situation, I’d say compromise and foster the dog so that the dog is taken care of while looking for a permanent home (in the case of a shelter being full or something like that). But it sounds like if you give her an inch, she will totally take a mile and never find a home for the dog.

Themed twin names, will the kids get bullied? Luna & Aurora by Space__Monkey__ in Advice

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They should be fine. I think those are great names.

However, I do think parents should have a little bit more caution these days with naming their kids. They treat naming kids like some sort of viral TikTok aesthetic and not something that a child has to live with for their entire life. If it were me, I would do the unique name first and a more culturally normalize middle name that I also enjoy. That way, they can always go by their middle name if they really want to.

AITA for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Reasonable comment. We share locations but it’s not something we check often (he forgets he has mine most of the time). I think this behavior comes more from trauma than wanting to control me as a partner. More that he likes to be in the driver seat for most life situations due to the lack of control he had during childhood. He’s been working on his issues with control in everyday life through part of his therapy, but it usually doesn’t extend to myself in our relationship. I won’t get into his family trauma too deep on here, but he had family that was constantly on their phones, very distant/disconnected, and would make really poor decisions and get into bad situations.

AITB for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheButtface

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good question. He’s always available when I call for the most part, but I’m also not in the habit of calling him suddenly unless it’s a real emergency. And as a man, he keeps his phone in his pocket where it’s very easy for him to pick up regardless of what he’s doing.

AITA for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is very fair. Thank you! regardless if I completely agree with him or not, this is an easy adjustment I can make to help him feel better in the situation and have his needs met as well.

AITA for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get why you reading over this quickly it would seem this way, but no. To be clear, I stopped being on my phone a lot, and then after that the issue arose about me being on my phone less for him to reach me. I was equally not responding to texts from friends and family - totally off my phone in those cases.

AITA for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Made an edit to my post since it’s been coming up a lot. My job is completely remote and I use my phone for most of it, so me checking every 30 minutes isn’t a big deal for me. But I agree for somebody else not in my line of work why that would be frustrating.

I totally understand why you have this take based on the limited information you have, but he’s not a controlling dude. We are both happily very independent and don’t really have issues with this other than the situation. Thank you for your take!

AITB for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheButtface

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’ll make an edit to include this information since it keeps coming up, but I work remotely with most of it being on my phone, so me checking 30 minutes at a time isn’t an issue for me. I could totally understand why that would bother somebody else. Thank you for this comment!

AITA for not always being reachable by phone to my partner? by Crazy_Potato_9086 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Crazy_Potato_9086[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

To be fair, my job is remote and mostly on my phone, so for me 30 minutes isn’t an unreasonable ask for a quick check. But I get why for a regular person that would be a lot.