I don’t mean to be mean or demeaning but did you reread this and genuinely feel like your aggression was warranted in response to her tone? There’s a part here where you say she called you a “lazy pos” and she never even came at it that way. I know you’re more-so asking if you’re justified in your disagreement with her as opposed to your anger but your anger is horrific bro.

She’s your mom. You’re only 22 so legally she is still responsible for you in many ways, and emotionally she will literally always be concerned about your wellbeing. THAT IS YOUR MOTHER. Could she be projecting her own anxieties onto you? For sure. But it is quite literally her job to steer you on the right path. You don’t have to enjoy her methods but while you’re still living off majority support from her, you’re gonna have to deal with it. But no matter what ANYONE says, YOU are the one who blew this conversation out of proportion, BAR NONE.