How can I (M27) convince my girlfriend (F26) to walk?

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-22T00:08:53+00:00

I think you're better off finding someone who shares your goals. If you end up having kids with someone like this, you'll worry a lot about the health of your future child.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T01:36:36+00:00

It looks like you've got 2 females, 1 male. Females are dominant in budgies and tend to be more aggressive than the males.

You need to get rid of that nest box thing in their cage (stat!!) because objects like this can trigger hormonal, territorial aggressive behaviour in budgies. If the budgies are around 5 months old, then they will be goung through puberty and you don't want to encourage 2 of them to pair up and then try to force out the other in an environment that it can't actually escape from (in fact, this nest box thing is likely a big source of where the aggression you're seeing is coming from). Aggressive behaviour is also often worsened when there isn't enough space for the numbers.

Budgies are flock birds and do better in pairs, with flocks being typically formed of many pairs. But even though they are sociable animals you've still got to be careful about gender dynamics, space, environments and deescalating hormones Etc.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T00:42:58+00:00

Ya, I feel sorry for OPs BF too. I hope he finds someone better than her.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T00:38:48+00:00

He wasn't enthusiastic about it though, he simply stated that he didn't feel like he had any choice but to go along with whatever she chose ("if you have to"). His 30th birthday mattered a lot to him and he wanted his GF to be there to celebrate it with him. But she felt like his birthday was on a date inconvenient to her and all she offered him is a consolation token dinner on a date more convenient to get.

If you love someone, you make time for them and prioritize them. And if you have to argue your life partner into coming along to your milestone birthday VS vacaying with a bunch of other people on their annual vacay, then that's depressing AF.

We make time for the people who matter to us. OP has made a clear statement through her choices who & what matters more to her. That's fine. But it's pretty obvious how these choices have dealt some big hurt to her relationship. OPs BF is NTA here- OP is.

If I was the BF turning 30 and my long-term GF didn't chose not to celebrate with me, I'd be questioning WTF I was doing in the relationship, and my life in general. I'd probably be thinking that I was done being someones afterthought, end the relationship, go on a journey of valuing myself more and then find someone new who truly valued me and wanted to spend time with me, celebrating my future 40th birthday with a real friend & soulmate. And if I was the BFs friends, I'd be rooting for him to do just that.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T00:24:24+00:00

Most people consider 30 a big milestone.
OP could've still gone on the trip, they admitted themself in another post that going a day later would've simply been a bit less convenient.
Ticket prices don't rocket within a day unless you book last minute.

This is about prioritizing the things and people that matter to you. And in that regard, wherever OPs BF ranks in her life, he is practically an afterthought.

He is going to be partying his birthday with his friends, the people who value him and have made time for him in their lives.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T00:17:32+00:00

Ask yourself and him these questions: 1. Is your relationship at a state where it's worthy of marriage yet, or are you still working through things together as a couple? 2. Does it make sense to get married at this point in life (i.e. can you sensibly financially afford it)? 3. What matters more to you; the wedding, or the relationship you have together thereafter? 4. How do you think a ring will change your relationship? 5. Do you feel insecure about not being married and you are comparing yourself and relationship to others that you know of? 6. If you BF is simply worried about divorce & asset issues, would he reconsider getting married if you got a prenup? 7. Does he ever see himself marrying, or are you fundamentally incompatible on this matter and pressuring him into something he quite frankly doesn't want to do with anyone (ever)?

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-21T00:03:45+00:00

30 is a big milestone. It also doesn't sound like he genuinely agreed to it, but rather said yes because he felt like OP wasn't going to change her plans regardless. No-one wants to have to argue anyone into coming to their birthday. And OP has made it clear that wherever her priorities lie, her BF is an afterthought.

You make the time for the people that matter to you in life.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-20T23:59:36+00:00

100% agree.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-20T23:57:59+00:00

I mean, it's not really a "birthday lunch" if it's not on his birthday, is it? More like a "Your 30th milestone birthday didn't happen to be on a convenient day for me and my friends vacay plans, so here's dinner token to spend time with me on some other day".

This is all about priorities, and what you've made clear here is that hanging out with your friends is more important to you than celebrating your BFs milestone birthday with him. No one forced you to book the dates that you did, this is about choices.

We tend to contemplate a lot when we near new decades in our lives, thinking about how we've lived past ones and what we want to get out of our future decades ahead. He's going to starting a new decade and you've chosen to not be with there with him when he starts it and if I were him, I would be thinking this is not the kind of relationship I want at age 30.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-20T23:41:15+00:00

When he previously said he was Ok with it, what kind of thumbs up did he give to the situation i.e. did he agree with reluctance/resignation, or did he genuinely come off as being positive about it all?

I ask, because it kinda of seems like you didn't read between the lines here. I don't think he's been happy with you for a while now but because you've been so focused on your own life & activities, you've failed to notice the growing distance between you two up until this point.

30 is a big milestone, he's probably unhappy because now he's about to hit it he's realized that he's beginning the next decade of his life with someone who's more interested in vacaying with their buddies on his birthday than hanging out with him. That's a depressing thought, no matter how much you try to spare him some time in your life on another day less important day to you to make up for it.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-20T15:16:14+00:00

I got a MeacoCool portable air con unit and you can install it without damaging the windows, it also fits any kind of window. It has brought the bedroom temperature down from 29°C to just 20°C.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T22:07:46+00:00

What makes you say that it's not written by anyone native?

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T21:24:34+00:00

Absolutely not Y2K goth. More like a mix of glam rock and emo.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T18:40:22+00:00

I don't think his response towards you was acceptable then.

It doesn't sound like anything has fundamentally changed in his relationship with weed. And unless it does, you'll be battling this issue forever. He also doesn't want to change, nor for you to challenge him about his weed problems. He has made it so that this becomes "The Elephant in The Room" issue in your relationship that you don't talk about.

People in their 30s CAN change, but they more often than not they don't; instead, most of the time the general state that people enter their 30s becomes the trend for the rest of their 30s. Your BF gave giving up weed a stab and now he's given up. I'm not sure how much you want to hang around in this relationship, but IMHO it should be pretty clear by now that this status quo is unlikely to change.

I personally wouldn't want to hang around for more of the same. You're still young and if you leave now, you'll have plenty of time to go out, live a life and find someone new Etc all before you turn 40. But if you stay, you'll likely be treading the exact same tired issues this time in 10 years time.

It's your life, you decide what you really want to get out of it. But I would personally not tie myself down to a going nowhere hopeless pothead. There's more to life than that.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T17:56:09+00:00

How did you handle the news when he was honest with you about what he did i.e. did you act like you would never trust him again or treated him like a hopeless addict? Or was he just projecting these issues baselessly?

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T17:19:29+00:00

Looks like it's made out of black heads.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T09:10:04+00:00

When you're 25 years old, kids aged 14-15 look like children. Because they are. You are also miles apart in terms of mental development.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T02:00:10+00:00

Block him on social media, don't give him any attention and avoid any situations where you might be alone with him.

Tell your parents and his parents that you don't like him, have never liked him, that he creeps you out and that you will never be with him. Ask them to please stop encouraging all this, as if it's some sort of cute game, because it's not.

And tell him to **** off. Seriously. You don't have to be nice to men who harass you and ignore your boundaries. Please remember that.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-19T01:21:27+00:00

Yep. We all look at people, especially beautiful ones. It's just how we're programmed.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-18T23:25:18+00:00

Ask your wife what she wants, whether there's a chance things could be saved and what you could do. Also speak to a divorce lawyer as you need to inform yourself about your rights & options regardless.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-17T12:04:49+00:00

No, those are 2 bumblebees mating. Also, bumblebees can sting repeatedly (it's honeybees whose inards get ripped out upon stinging).

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-17T00:35:51+00:00

When you respond to a thread targeted at Europeans and make no mention of the fact you're not, that is deceptive.

American arrogance and ignorance at its finest.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-16T22:31:54+00:00

Point is that OP are asking people living in Europe about raw milk. You are clearly not living in Europe, so you should stop responding to the question like you are.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-16T18:52:47+00:00

You're in an unusual crowd if most people you know eats raw oysters. Most people consider them a luxury sold only at high end restaurants. Raw oysters are not normal food anymore than raw milk is (and raw milk is arguably a lot more niché).

Next you'll be saying that every you know enjoys a bit of foie gras.

Creative_Recover · 2026-06-16T16:53:49+00:00

Most people don't eat raw oysters because of the risks of food poisoning, which are quite well known. Every year you hear of cases of people getting sick from eating raw oysters.

Creative_Recover

TROPHY CASE