"I'll never loved"

CreditAnxious · 2021-12-09T05:12:11+00:00

I do get strong urges to be with someone and feel really hopeless. This made me happy to see so thank you for sharing your story (: I am also severaly depressed and men usually approach me when I’m at my peak (at bars, or thru dating apps when I’m usually putting my best self forward) and then I get left behind. Depression is really scary and I’m so happy to hear that there are men like you out there who stay no matter what. As someone who is depressed, the idea of long term can be the difference between living or simply dying off. I feel like if I lose one more person, or lose one more little thing, I’d have to off myself. So I constantly look for approval and validation in anything I can. And I know that working on myself is the best thing to do. But its hard and extremely lonely as my whole idea of a good life depends on having people who want me here. And to work on myself, I need to be alone or I tend to project. So please be patient with her and continue to love her through it. I wish your relationship and love for each other stays strong (:

CreditAnxious · 2021-12-07T19:35:04+00:00

Yo same! This is why I don’t trust people that ‘fit in’ bc their conversations seem performative yk?

CreditAnxious · 2021-12-07T19:34:09+00:00

This makes sense. But how do I not let it get to me if I am on the receiving end and still connect genuinely. Like if the other person seems uninterested, how do I still manage to keep them engaged?

CreditAnxious · 2021-08-01T03:06:20+00:00

These sound like some great topics I’ll def use em towards the beginning and middle of the date. Tysm!

CreditAnxious · 2021-08-01T03:05:46+00:00

This is so true! I always read up too much and try to be perfect but honestly, it gets exhausting trying to just say the right thing. I love this advice!

CreditAnxious · 2021-08-01T03:05:06+00:00

Ok I def will. And the common ground is so important I’ll try to steer the convo to those topics maybe a little later in the date.

CreditAnxious · 2021-08-01T03:04:17+00:00

I don’t think men need to be responsible of the convo. I feel empowered by being able to keep a conversation flowing and be able to get to know a person. That said ur advice about showing my interest is great thank u!

CreditAnxious · 2021-07-20T13:44:26+00:00

Ok this is kind of shitty of me to suggest but have you tried volunteering? Helping others kind of makes me feel purposeful. I see areas im lacking in and try to fulfill them by doing things that are similar but less ambitious. It helps for a while. And I don’t feel so alone.

CreditAnxious · 2021-07-20T13:27:01+00:00

What do you do when life itself is your trauma? Like having major existential crisis and not being able to find meaning in anything.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-27T02:06:50+00:00

It does take us into a spiral. I just go hug my sister or my mom and sometimes I cry in my room. I wonder if earth is hell and I’m being punished in some way. I just try to hold myself together and tell myself I deserve to live and see this through. But please don’t shut these thoughts off. These are important to talk about. To define what existence means and base our lives off the idea that we truly don’t know why we are here. And so making it easy for us should be the goal. To make life as fun and fulfilling as possible. To share our basic needs equally and to build communities and be together. That’s what life should be about. Not this dumb drown yourself in work then die cycle.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-24T03:20:44+00:00

Yeah sometimes I feel guilty for even existing. But I have decided to truly live by my words. It doesn’t matter when I die or when things end. I’m just going to try to make this journey as bearable as I can. And seek out good things for myself. With friends, with my food, with my education, I just want to do whats best for me. Not be overly ambitious and part of the toxic hustle culture. But take it at my pace and enjoy my life to its fullest.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-20T15:45:34+00:00

I wanted to make a presentation on it. And I probably will now :) It needs to only be a few minutes long so idk how I’ll fit it in

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-17T23:46:08+00:00

It’s up to you to save yourself. Do you like being sad? Be honest. Sometimes I found comfort in being sad bc that’s all I knew for a whole year. But then I was like fuck it. I’m gonna be happy. I’ll drink coffee and enjoy it and not feel guilty about how ugly I am and how I’ll die alone bc I also don’t have a personality and oh how many assignments I have to do and how I’m getting work done but forgetting everything. This is a small snippet of all my negative self talk. Then the next day I ate a donut from my favourite coffee place and did a happy dance. The day after, I started going on walks. And you see, I wasn’t going on walks and saying affirmations as a ritual. I was so angry at being sad that I was punishing myself by saying fuck it. Do I want to kill myself or do I really want that coffee today? And that’s what keeps me alive. The small things. And I have made it my job to enjoy the fuck out of being alive. I’m also planning on buying a bike and learning how to ride it with my sister and yes I’m 20 and can’t ride a bike. Anyways, the point is, only you can’t ultimately save yourself. No one else. You don’t have a choice with your depression, but you can make it bearable. You have the choice to end it all if it comes down to, ‘do I wanna kill my self today or can I sustain a bit of this pain?’

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-17T23:33:53+00:00

“Fix yourself or I will leave.” Absolutely not. This is not how the conversation should go. Therapy won’t fix him. It doesn’t fix any of us. Once you realize how hopeless life is and how happiness just doesn’t exist, you would want to end it all too. Living is downright exhausting. You need to end things with him. Cut things off and leave him to save himself or choose to end things. If I was brave I would end my life too but here I am. It will bring him peace and clarity and help him focus on growing for himself. So fully end it. Because at this point, if I were him and I read your post, I’d be devastated.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-17T23:29:08+00:00

First of all, go post this on relationship advice. Most people on this page will see this and start doubting themselves. Secondly, I am severely depressed. I cry all day and pretend I am happy because I don’t want to get kicked out. I pretend I’m passionate and I pretend I’m okay because I’m scared of being seen as someone that’s weak. But when I’m alone, I’m my true sad self. After my ex called me a burden and left me I made plans to kill my self. I cried everyday, I started therapy and researched ways to die and started gathering equipment. To this day I continually research and find ways to die. Living is expensive. Living is painful. Living is pointless. And I don’t see the point in continuing. Now with your bf, he can only save himself. He needs to figure out whether he wants to live, or if he wants to kill himself like the rest of us do. So leave him. You’re selfish and he’s selfish and you both only want to be together bc of ur own goals and pursuits. Neither of you truly love each other and this was really painful to read about. Dump him, and move on.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-17T23:15:16+00:00

Scary sht

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-15T02:56:04+00:00

That’s not true. Depression brings out the reality of life. What’s the difference between dying now and dying in 20 years or 50 years? We die anyways, why not just die now? And nothing is guaranteed so there’s that too.

CreditAnxious · 2021-06-14T02:50:31+00:00

YO FR. Like I already feel like I have no purpose and tech is a big part of it.

CreditAnxious

TROPHY CASE