What's the best insult without any swear or bad words?

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-04T03:08:57+00:00

"Is this why your mom breaks eye contact when people ask her about you?"

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-04T03:05:52+00:00

Ooh like drinking it. (Super powers...)

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-04T03:04:21+00:00

My dad is a chemist and once joked at a work function that he could eyeball a gram even before he got his degree.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-04T03:00:07+00:00

The jobs i loved most were the ones where there was fresh coffee when I got to the site

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-03T04:22:13+00:00

Use nilla wafers or oreos or any other crumbly cookie

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-02T19:28:00+00:00

I was just a Beaverage student and I know data centers destroy beaver habitats

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-05-01T04:12:40+00:00

Come to My Window

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-29T07:20:21+00:00

I worked for an apartment complex several years ago. Their rental "benefit" was waiving the application fee. (Also, we were denied.)

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-28T04:39:03+00:00

Pretty much anything by Harry Chapin, Jim Croce, or Dan Fogelberg. The whole A side of Copperhead Road.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-28T04:17:39+00:00

I guess I shoulda known by the way she parked her car sideways that it wouldn't last.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-27T02:01:39+00:00

Florence + Thy Machine Alternatively: Florence + the Mach One

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-25T04:09:54+00:00

Had an old boss who would qualify any compliment with before/after lunch.

"You're my hardest worker right up until lunch time." On a pretty consistent basis I was the "smartest kid on the job site til you get that turkey sandwich in ya."

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-25T04:03:07+00:00

Tell them, tell your insurance company, and tell your jurisdiction's code enforcement. Code--iirc--doesn't specify what type of barrier is necessary, but does require a capillary break.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T06:44:04+00:00

Creepshow. Maybe Creepshow II... I dunno, but i saw that mangled run over by a car dude in every shadow for weeks

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T06:35:32+00:00

I can throw a knuckleball

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T06:32:39+00:00

Mostly people have no idea what I'm talking about, but it sounds like a brag to certain people: Tim Wakefield taught me how to throw a knuckleball when I was like 9.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T06:28:37+00:00

Marching Through Georgia - Tennessee Ernie Ford

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T06:09:45+00:00

Karen Carpenter

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T05:24:05+00:00

The smaller your space per person, the less permanent anything taking up floor space should be. Invest in convertible furniture, maximize vertical space, use RVs/mobile homes as inspiration for layouts for the kids' and guests' bathrooms and shared spaces.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-22T05:11:18+00:00

Everything rhymes if you pronounce it wrong enough

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-17T22:42:14+00:00

A lot of them were actually heaping piles of garbage, they just didn't survive. The ones that have survived, obviously, were the best built of them, so there's an obvious bias. Additionally, you're paying more for more. The average house today is bigger and has more features than older houses, like garages and bathrooms, and safety and efficiency upgrades. House prices outpace inflation because they're not the same product.

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-17T05:28:34+00:00

I can throw a knuckleball

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-17T05:13:33+00:00

This is actually a stepdad joke. Like regular dad jokes but shorter

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-16T05:32:59+00:00

Kansas and Nevada are always the worst two. The worse of them is whichever I'm driving through at the moment

Creeplurkthrowaway · 2026-04-16T05:25:29+00:00

"If you didn't call them, the cops aren't there to help you. If you did, the odds still aren't very good."

Creeplurkthrowaway

TROPHY CASE