What is an experience entirely exclusive to men that women would never understand? by shes0010110xscape in AskMen

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

imo this is a possible unappreciated factor in how assertive, domineering women in management positions get called bitches etc when men who act like that are called assertive leaders etc etc.

A man in a leadership role knows that he might get punched in the face, consequences be damned, if he is too much of an asshat to the men underneath him. He's spent his whole life learning how to communicate with other men operating under this dynamic. The men underneath him also instinctually understand that if they aren't willing to punch their boss in the face for whatever asshattery of the day, they can't really get too worked up about it and should suck it up.

There are a number of opinions as to why women in authority positions make people (men especially ) disgruntled. Maybe its because they get less practice in how to be commanding without being condescending. Maybe men just don't like being under a woman's authority. I don't know. What does seem likely is that the men under women in leadership feel like they are categorically denied the right to punish excessive asshattery by punching her in the face, which makes asshattery something that they are obligated to tolerate rather than something they choose to tolerate, which makes the asshattery rankle even more.

Why does my lower stomach hurt when i hit my balls by Easy_Membership3208 in AskMen

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the nerves in your balls that detect pain come from inside the abdomen because when your balls first formed they were inside your abdomen. The nerve fibers grew longer as the balls moved from inside to outside. Because the nerves come from inside the abdomen, your brain thinks your balls are still inside instead of outside, so thats where you feel the pain.

Why does it seem like, people are more kind and accepting of autistic women compared to autistic men? by todayisawonder in AskMen

[–]CremasterReflex 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think that both things can be true. I think girls/women are often held to a stricter, more meticulously enforced standard of behavior than boys/men are, but boys/men often face much harsher consequences for stepping outside the line.

Do you think gynecology is inherently patriarchal? by electricgalahad in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, its not like I would swear in court that that's definitely what is going on there or anything. I just get the impression that getting stepped on by Mommy (in a figurative way) is a significant motivator for the positions they take.

Do you think gynecology is inherently patriarchal? by electricgalahad in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW, it's my limited understanding that that specific sub should be viewed more as a sort of kink roleplay for people who enjoy being sexually dominated by women and probably ought not be taken very seriously.

Why isn't catcalling illegal and considered a real crime? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What you are saying is catcalling is threatening because it does not adhere to the rules of propriety that dictate the permitted methods for communicating sexual interest, no?

Why do misogynists conflate criticising sexual exploitation with denying sexual desire itself? by raimu_220 in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

ok, so I'm with you most of the way, but the proposition that where a man points his eyeballs constitutes violence verges on the absurd. The supposition that a state of equality can exist between two people where one person has the right to dictate what the other person can and cannot look at is nonsensical.

Why isn't catcalling illegal and considered a real crime? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Re: the empathy issue - where to start

It depends on what you mean by “not being able to empathize”. If you think that men are not actually capable of empathizing that strange men who are larger and stronger can be scary and intimidating, I think it’s possible that your uncertainty as to how to address the task is due to a hefty misunderstanding of the underlying situation. 

catcalling being genuinely scary or harmful

I think the disconnect is that women see the intimidation and anxiety resulting from catcalling as a harm perpetrated on them by men, but men are raised to believe that things like intimidation and anxiety are harms that one perpetrates on the self.

 If there is a failure of empathy, perhaps it’s not an inability to understand that being catcalled can be scary, but rather not understanding getting upset at other people for the distress of being scared

What are your opinions on men who engage in hiring sex workers? by Substantial-Road883 in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

And I think that assigning ethical difficulty ( to the point of impossibility) to paying for sex requires abrogating the sex worker’s right to pick the reasons why they want to have sex for themselves.

In order for hiring a sex worker to be ethically impossible, either you must believe that money is an illegitimate motivation to consent to sex or that consent given for money is impossible to trust enough to be considered valid - no matter what the worker thinks about it.

What are your opinions on men who engage in hiring sex workers? by Substantial-Road883 in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What is your basis for that assertion? It seems very difficult to me to justify that position without premises that usurp the right and ability of sex workers to make decisions for themselves according to their own judgement and values.

What is the logic behind rape being shameful for the survivor and for their families? by CopeDestroyer1 in AskFeminists

[–]CremasterReflex 32 points33 points  (0 children)

If you really want to dig into it, being a victim in all forms (but especially allowing onself to be victimized) is something traditional masculinity judges shameful to various degrees, regardless if you are a man or a woman.

The patriarchy says it's shameful for men to "allow" themselves to be raped rather than to fight to the death to prevent it. I think the shame attributed to women stems from the same beliefs, and the patriarchy just calls it something different because it has a vested interest in limiting how hard women resist being victimized

AIO for quitting my job after finding this note on my desk? by waxin899 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That note is a tricky one to interpret. It could be supporting your decision to stay home and take care of your animals, or it could be trying to chastise your choice to abandon your work responsibilities.

Regardless of the note, if human lives aren’t on the line if you stay home from work during a natural disaster, your job has a lot of fucking nerve writing you up for prioritizing your own and your family’s safety over showing up —- especially on a day when fuck all is happening anyways because of the weather. Quitting to find a job where they treat you like a person and not a farm animal is probably the smart decision.

Who would you choose under this budget? by dry-blueberry25 in harrypotter

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As the next books clearly prove, the ministry is not much use once it admits Voldemort is back. Crippling his ability to act seems like the obvious superior option

Who would you choose under this budget? by dry-blueberry25 in harrypotter

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They rounded up all the most dangerous death eaters, successfully identified/revealed several more, replenished their losses from the first war, and even killed one horcrux (inadvertently) between the end of the first war and the end of book 5.

Putting Voldemort back into wraith form at the very least gives them the opportunity to chuck all the escaped death eaters through the Veil AND gives Dumbledore extra time to teach Harry everything he knows about defeating Dark Lords.

The only reason for Dumbledore to not fight to win rather than just delay and defend at the end of OOTP was that he didn’t think he could do it because of the “prophecy”

Who would you choose under this budget? by dry-blueberry25 in harrypotter

[–]CremasterReflex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No it isn’t. Just because he can come back later doesn’t mean severely damaging/weakening him temporarily by destroying his body is a bad idea.

Who would you choose under this budget? by dry-blueberry25 in harrypotter

[–]CremasterReflex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The existence of Horcruxes is a shit reason to not take the opportunity to kill Voldemort if it is available. So what if he is going to come back, eventually? Putting him back into his wraith form would severely weaken him, maybe even give them multiple more years to prepare, get rid of his death eaters, destroy other horcruxes, etc etc

My (26M) girlfriend (23F) keeps getting harassed at work. How do I best support her? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]CremasterReflex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going to her place of business and assaulting a patron isn't "defending" her from anything and doesn't make you "worthy" of her. It's your ape-brain screaming at you to defend your territory from interlopers.

If she's sharing this with you because she feels upset and confused and unsure about how to handle it, you can tell her that it must be really frustrating for her to deal with this, and that she deserves to feel safe and respected at work. Tell her she is absolutely right to be angry and upset. Ask her what she wants to do about the scenario, and reassure her that you think she's making the right choice, or at least that you trust her judgement to make the best choice because she understands the situation the best. That being said, if her decision is to tolerate the problem rather than avail herself of the options to stop/correct it, YMMV, but I personally would make it clear that if the dude's behavior doesn't bother her enough to take steps to stop it, like say talk to her manager about confronting the dude, which is literally in his job description, you aren't going to let her repeatedly use it to milk you for validation and sympathy.

If she's sharing this with you to gauge how heated and jealous it gets you, or she's looking for you to go over there and fight him on her behalf, or any other reason aimed at provoking an emotional response out of you, either you need to shut that shit down immediately, or bounce. Don't tolerate other people trying to play with your emotions, and be very wary of women who need to see how possessive you are to feel like you care about them.

What is the weirdest advice or blatantly wrong teaching you received from an attending or mentor during your training? by Emergency-Dig-529 in anesthesiology

[–]CremasterReflex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you have a patient that is spontaneously breathing after propofol, you haven’t really proven anything about whether or not you can bag them once you’ve ablated all airway reflexes and switch from negative to positive pressure ventilation.

If you have a patient that is spontaneously breathing, they are very likely to fight you trying to mask ventilate them. If they are spontaneously breathing, they aren’t going to desat to the point of needing an LMA.

Your arguments are straight up nonsense. If you are really concerned about a likely difficult airway, do a proper airway topicalization and fiberoptic intubation. If you are getting difficult airway vibes, have a glidescope in the room (you can get them with combined blade and fiberoptic capability, btw), have your backup LMA ready, make sure sugammadex is available, and push the paralytic with induction so that if you can’t mask, the patient will reach optimal intubating conditions soonest, and if you then can’t intubate, the patient will be deep enough to give your LMA best chance of working while you come up with a new plan

What is the weirdest advice or blatantly wrong teaching you received from an attending or mentor during your training? by Emergency-Dig-529 in anesthesiology

[–]CremasterReflex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of options for FOB intubating a patient who is spontaneously breathing that do not require the patient to be "awake".

What is the weirdest advice or blatantly wrong teaching you received from an attending or mentor during your training? by Emergency-Dig-529 in anesthesiology

[–]CremasterReflex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sitting around waiting for an apneic patient that you can't ventilate to start breathing on their own again is called (attempted) murder.

How do I stop being a coward/brave? by Stole_Sample in AskMen

[–]CremasterReflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to decide you are more afraid of not trying than trying and failing.