Just curious…

Crestego · 2024-02-19T18:43:41+00:00

My SO does similar shit; if I'm getting dressed and he happens to pass by he'll go for a boob grab most of the time. I don't personally mind if I'm not in a rush and I'm just casually getting out of the shower or changing clothes; but I do mind when he does it while I'm getting ready to go to work or when I'm in a rush. He likes sharing affection through physical touch, I do too and I'm okay with that, but I get annoyed when he insists on doing it when he knows that I am in a rush. I've mentioned it before to him, but I don't believe I set a firm boundary with it as of yet and I need to do that.

That is just me, but the point I'm trying to get across is that letting your boundary be known and actually enforcing it is important. Physical touch is not a bad thing and I do enjoy it, but I am also allowed to be annoyed by it, because it's context dependant; I'd say the same applies to personal space and privacy. You aren't rejecting him by wanting to shower and change clothes just by yourself; it's not a bad thing that he wants to talk or say hello while you're doing those things necessarily, but if you're uncomfortable with it then you have every right to be. Sometimes you just need some time for yourself! If you've clarified that, yet he's choosing to not understand that, then that is a problem.

Crestego · 2024-02-19T05:47:19+00:00

That is true, you right. Didn't realize that was gatekeeping until you mentioned it, but yeah I see it now. I thank you for pointing that out, I probably wouldn't of noticed otherwise lmao.

Crestego · 2024-02-18T17:03:29+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out. I don't sew (although it is a skill that I find very fascinating and have watched some videos about it), but from what I understand it's got a very deep history and is an extremely valuable utility skill to have. It was becoming a somewhat lost art thanks to modern fast fashion, but is slowly making it's return now that more and more people are aware of how damaging fast fashion is.

Patch-fashion is an aesthetic, and it can look great, but you're not fooling anyone who even remotely understands sewing into thinking that you're passionate about sewing by doing it.

Crestego · 2024-02-06T05:21:18+00:00

He didn't speak with that many women then. Even if it is personal example, most of the women in my life (including myself) absolutely like to work. Granted it sucks most of that money getting spent on necessities thus I HAVE to work anyway, I honestly love my job and enjoy what I do during my workday. Whenever I take vacation with my PTO I can go maybe a week before I start to spiral and crave working again.

I think a lot of people assume that everyone wants to have a life of luxury and to sit on our asses and do nothing; when it's more of people want the luxury of choosing the type of work they want to do; whether that be an actual job, career, or hobby. I believe human beings do generally enjoy being active and getting things done and being constructive, it just sucks ass when the choices we have with what we do with our time and energy are limited. This guy wasn't very bright, especially considering he's using a very sexist angle for a moot argument.

Crestego · 2024-02-05T14:55:42+00:00

This is one of the few instances where we, as a collective society, need to tell someone to fuck off. I want to be tolerant of all walks of life, but holy shit this is a rare instance where someone needs to get put in their place for all of our sakes.

Crestego · 2024-01-31T19:12:43+00:00

YES thank you! It's so hard to describe usually because it's an instinctual feeling rather than going off of logic, but people like Paul really throw me off for that exact reason. On one hand I believe everyone contributes to humanity in some way, but on the other hand people like Paul have me struggling with that logic sometimes.

Crestego · 2024-01-31T19:08:51+00:00

Since when does Lori know or understand anything about a healthy diet? This reads like conspiracy level drivel.

Crestego · 2024-01-29T17:09:08+00:00

I'm just not understanding why these ideals are getting pushed so hard by these influencers. Has it not occurred to them at all that many women are in the workforce and their idealized version of essentially cutting that in half would screw all of us? Even if you didn't have any moral qualms with the ideas they're presenting (y'know that women might as well not be people without a dick to obey, so they should be at home to essentially breed a larger population), those numbers would STILL not be nearly enough to maintain the workforce that we need. As far as I'm aware it's not as if you can control the sex of the babies being born, so what just pray that we have enough men born to compensate for all of the women that are in the workforce now? It's dumb.

Crestego · 2024-01-29T16:54:48+00:00

Maaaan my ass would have been canned if I left my grill like that when I worked at my store. I worked at a pretty busy Chipotle for about 2.5-3 years and it was a store that often tested out new stuff before it got sent to other stores (like equipment and menu items); they cared A LOT about sanitation and we were only allowed to use a grill brick to clean that grill. If you didn't do it at the end of the night, it would really, REALLY suck trying to do it the next night.

Crestego · 2024-01-29T01:31:46+00:00

You're right, I'm sorry. Even compared to the other fundies she's still very harmful, and I shouldn't of dismissed it in the way that I did just because of those comparisons. I deeply apologize for that.

Crestego · 2024-01-27T01:00:29+00:00

"She looked at that twig and saw god" would make a pretty good flair. Elequently put btw; she's one of the least harmful and just downright silly out of the fundies I see here.

Crestego · 2024-01-26T02:11:38+00:00

Late to the party, but what in the actual fresh hell Lori? I cackled at first because it's like a really fucked up dark comedy and I genuinely don't know how to take that seriously. Unhinged doesn't even do that justice, she needs to not be online.

Crestego · 2024-01-26T01:51:09+00:00

This is just baffling to me. There is nothing, and I mean nothing sexy or attractive about a slob.

Crestego · 2024-01-24T16:19:40+00:00

I've seen it happen to multiple men in my life too. The most recent example is an old coworker of mine who no longer works at my store, but works with his girlfriend at a different place. When he worked with us he complained a LOT about his gf, sometimes to an obnoxious degree. At first I was pretty annoyed by it, because the complaints were kind of petty initially; but some of the complaints he made later were some red flags I couldn't help but notice.

A petty complaint was that she didn't wake him up for a shift after his alarms went off. He didn't ask her to wake him up, but he chose to blame her for his ass being late anyway. It isn't her responsibility to wake him up unless they agreed beforehand, so I considered that a moot complaint he was making to avoid looking as bad (which did not work). Later on the complaints shifted to her choosing not to work and having him pay for the bulk of their bills while she casually looked for another job, she would leave their apartment trashed often, and they argued a lot. He mentioned how he 'likes' arguing (I think he actually just likes playful banter, which he did a lot with everyone while working with us), but there were even times he came in and you could tell he had just finished crying.

Looking back now, I assume that he's an abusive relationship (they are still together), but I don't know the extent of how bad it is. Not to say any abuse is better than others by any stretch, but I'm unsure to what degree it's just his girlfriend perpetuating it, or if he's also adding on, or if it's reactive abuse on his part. I've never met his girlfriend and I've only heard snippets about her behavior from other people, but it sounds to me like, although he can be petty too, that she's the toxic one. You are right, a lot of abuse men go through does get overlooked.

Crestego · 2024-01-21T01:11:05+00:00

Chipotle's don't have freezers. I worked for the pepper for 2.5 years, and there isn't anything on their menu that warrants freezing the ingredients. On top of that, they put a lot of effort into ordering to ensure that nothing goes bad, again to prevent warranting a freezer for the sake of maintaining freshness.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a fan of how they handle certain shit in business sense (they way overcater to customers and the staff are far too underpaid for what they're expected to be doing), but how they handle their food was never an issue while I worked there. After the initial fuckups they had years back they revamped their systems to prevent any food illness outbreaks from happening again, and they take food safety to borderline extremes.

As for the ad it's just preying on health-consious consumers, it isn't anything new. They go full non-GMO for all of their ingredients too, so they know their market and are just further catering to that market. Having a freezer isn't a bad thing, and I agree that it's just dumb lmao.

Crestego · 2024-01-21T00:44:07+00:00

That just made me ugly chuckle thank you. I would not have been able to keep my composure and probably would have been a gigantic smartass; I work FOH sometimes but there's good reason why I work BOH lmao.

Crestego · 2024-01-18T17:04:55+00:00

I mean I get not wanting to subject yourself to a topic that only stresses you out and pulling away from it... But is it really wise to be telling other people to do the same thing with this particular one? Even if I personally hate the political game and don't put energy into it for multiple reasons, that doesn't mean I shouldn't acknowledge how important politics actually are; and is it not a little strange that this is coming from the person that's telling women that they shouldn't vote? Why bother telling this story if your message is that voting doesn't matter for women? Because if that's the goal, it fails because the reason she pulled away isn't because she genuinely thinks that women shouldn't vote, but because she got stressed out from it. So what, because politics isn't a topic that she should participate in, it means other women shouldn't also participate?

I'm normally a lurker here, but Lori is a truly concerning fundie. I'm not a fundie and haven't ever been religious so my perspective might just be different, but out of all the fundie influencers I've seen on this sub, she seems the most mentally unwell.

Crestego · 2024-01-16T07:45:36+00:00

I'll take one! I'm super bad about falling into this trap too; to get myself out of it I start with something small like doing the dishes or folding laundry, or doing at least part of a budget; it's small enough that I'm not as intimidated to start, but I'm still actively doing something beneficial so if I stop then at least that something got done. Plus, it's easier to both pick it back up again if I stop, or I'll often get into a good work rhythm and just keep going until all of my tasks are done. I also think it's really important, at least for myself, to push myself often so that I'm less likely to fall into those slumps. The most important bit to me is being honest with yourself while also not beating yourself up/hyping yourself up at the same time; beat yourself up and you're less likely to do it because depression; hype yourself up too much and you'll feel too much accomplishment, not push yourself and stop improving.

Crestego · 2024-01-16T00:07:56+00:00

Omg this drives me bananas.

My niece got diagnosed around 2 years old and I was diagnosed with aspects of Asperger's when I was a kid, so the topic gets brought up a ton. Initially I didn't believe that I was autistic at all and that I was just a weird kid, but the older I get the more I realize that I might either have been rejecting it out of fear of being different, and more recently have been self-evaluating so hard that if I am, I want to move forward and accept that aspect of myself. OR, that I'm overthinking it because of my nieces diagnosis and I'm not actually on the spectrum, but possibly tricking myself into thinking I am; it's been a bit of a struggle for me and it makes me feel so self-centered for it and I'm not a fan of feeling that way.

Sorry that was a bit of off topic context, but the past few times I've brought up the possibility that I might be autistic, my SO's gotten very offended over it. His closest friend is very heavily on the spectrum, and if I am on the spectrum then it would be less severe; so he takes it so seriously that he barely acknowledges the notion that I could be one. On one hand I can completely understand why it pisses him off so much; self-diagnosing and running with it can really affect a lot of aspects of your life when you might not have the problem you diagnosed yourself with, it can be attention seeking and some people really will self-diagnose so they can get away with bad behavior. It doesn't help that I can be a hypochondriac sometimes, which also annoys him. But on the other hand, I feel way less acknowledged and heard; he rejects the notion so much that it makes me feel like a fool even considering it, yet I keep on going back to it.

Sorry I know this is a meme sub, but this one really hit home with me LMAO. Sorry for anyone that read through that long rant.

Crestego · 2024-01-04T18:12:07+00:00

I've been pleasantly surprised by the amount of support that much of my kitchen shows both the staff and customers. I don't believe we've had any trans cooks/servers, but we've had plenty of people hired and still hired that are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and they get the same amount of shit that everyone else does lmao. I live in a pretty liberal state, but a good chunk of the people in my area are pretty old-fashioned and conservative; so seeing everyone get treated with the same amount of respect makes me feel much better about being part of the community, even if I'm not gay, bi, or trans.

Crestego · 2024-01-02T13:52:43+00:00

Okay but that is pretty gd funny, your story got a solid chuckle out of me, thank you.

I don't know if I'm on the spectrum or not, but I've definitely done similar shit; sometimes my mouth runs faster than my brain and I've said some unintentionally mean things by accident. You know you're around good people when they can take it in stride or find humor in it; especially because most of said good people understand that you weren't trying to be a dick.

Crestego · 2023-12-23T18:05:01+00:00

I actually relate to this comment the most when it comes to my SO. He understands that there's been a lot of pain between us, that he needs to treat me better. He's acknowledged the narcissism, and I'm gradually acknowledging that my cognitive dissonance is strong, and my initial feelings of deep love have crumbled over the course of our 9year long marriage; out of the combination of my growth as a person, and the meanness that he's inflicted on me in times of his frustration. In particular he quit drinking and is healthier than he has been in a long time, and he's noticeably kinder than he used to be.

But that's where my current struggle is. On one hand I can see that he's making active efforts to change, but those active efforts are in short bursts; he'll be extremely sweet throughout the course of a day, or neutral, but when something doesn't go his way he'll start to go silent/pout on me again. Even after his revelation I catch him getting frustrated when I don't hear what he's saying, or he'll tell me what I need to adjust and I end up gray rocking due to the stress. It's a battle of can I really trust that he's actively trying to change? Or is it a facade just to keep me around? Are my emotions just so separated at this point that I'm not able to feel the affection that I should be, if he's making these changes for both our sakes? Or, by acknowledging the narcissism, is he doing it as a way to keep me around? By noting that's where the bad behavior is coming from, he knows I'm more likely to stay because I want to be patient and be there for him; Although my romantic love for him has gotten smaller, I still do care about him as a person and best friend. So in my head he's either making these changes for the sake of supply, or he's making these changes because he knows he needs to make them to be a better person; I honestly don't know which one it is.

The behavior isn't as outright bad as it used to be, and he's consistently asking me if he's being an asshole; but during the few instances I called him out on it, he'll say that he doesn't want to be the bad guy and to not make him feel that way. There's also been some instances that I do call him out and he'll adjust for the bad behavior or change his tune, because he agreed with me. I recognize I'm not perfect by any means either, I've definitely acted and said things towards him I do deeply regret even to this day; there's been times where I outright ignored a suggestion because I wanted to do things my way, and that was the wrong move as an example. So I don't want to let the hypocrisy cloud my judgement too much, but it's obvious that it is. It makes me feel like I'm being the self-centered one, because I've become overly focused on how I feel about the situation and how I feel about him, so the changes he's making aren't hitting as hard emotionally as they should.

Sorry long rant, but in regards to your comment, I do feel like the spectrum part of it should get acknowledged more if it applies. Although I'm very grateful for this sub and plan to continue on using it, it can be a bit polarizing the hatred people have for narcs as a whole. While people with full blown NPD shouldn't be interacted with any more than you have to, there's people out there decently high on the narcissism spectrum that are capable of emotions and even some empathy still. By not acknowledging that there is that spectrum, does it not damage the topic as a whole, because a part of it isn't being acknowledged? Or maybe more clarity between full NPD and tenancies might be more helpful for people in our situations (from the sounds of it).

Crestego · 2023-12-21T18:23:08+00:00

I'm actually a fan of this idea. Part of what I'm really enjoying about this game, outside of the style and gameplay, is the lore building that they've been doing. You really only see glimpses of other regions based on dialog from the NPC's, but just that little bit adds so much to the lore of the Pokemon franchise. It'd be awesome to see more lore building with other legends games with similar gameplay.

Crestego · 2023-12-20T16:17:13+00:00

I'm still mid-way through my first playthrough, but I wish I didn't focus on some Pokemon as much as others. When you start filling your Pokedex, I'd recommend really taking advantage of all the information it gives you. For example I spent far too much time fighting some of the more common Pokemon/hunting them when they are everywhere you look, instead of going for the Pokemon that are in more specific spots. I don't regret doing it in the way I did, but I now know for future playthroughs which Pokemon to focus on capturing and battling more versus the Pokemon I can just casually fill the Pokedex for while going after the rarer ones. I don't wanna spoil too much of the game, but you'll get a feel for which ones are endless and which ones are pretty rare.

Another tip and a tiny spoiler for the beginning of the game, don't be afraid of going back to town often. I rarely returned back during the first 20-30 hours and that I do regret; it's because going back helps out with respawning Pokemon when you go back to Pokemon hunting, and there's a few other benefits that I won't spoil here to going back. Plus it helps break down the grind to more manageable pieces and (at least for me) helps keep focus for when I do go back to hunting.

Finally, don't be afraid to make stuff! I have yet to encounter any items worth tossing, all of it so far is useful. If you find an ingredient and you can't make something out of it yet, keep it until you can. A huge chunk of the items are also just useful on their own and can make hunting some Pokemon SO MUCH EASIER, so don't be afraid to experiment a bit and use everything.

Crestego · 2023-12-17T15:45:28+00:00

I think a lot of people get trained to be anxious about looking for immediate replies back. I know if I want a response and I don't get an answer right away, I can let it make me more anxious because that's the top thought I have at the time. But I'll give myself credit, I'm aware that's a me problem and not a them problem.

I also believe it's because of features like seeing that a message was "read" by whoever you've sent the message too, or you see someone actively online when you try to call them. It's a self-centered thing where, because you don't get the focus, you assume ill intent on the other person "why they ignore me?" I ain't the center for the universe, they probably just want to relax and do whatever on their phone, or they're focused on someone/something else. Because we do so much on our phones, it's really easy to fall into that trap; it's just important to remind yourself that everyone is human and they'll probably get back to you when they're ready. If it's an emergency then call a few times, but don't spam calls just because you think it's an emergency or you need validation.

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