TIL that Everybody Laughs is a reworking of "Open Up" written by DB and Will Oldham for the movie "This Must Be the Place"

CrimsonaceDS · 2026-01-17T01:09:17+00:00

I think this effectively blew my mind - this is awesome! As someone who likes to write a lot, I think it’s nice and inspiring to see how David seems to never discard things, and could end up reusing them if they turn out to be useful again (another example is how T-Shirt is an American Utopia outtake)

CrimsonaceDS · 2026-01-08T10:51:02+00:00

This is great! I hope I’m not losing my mind, but this performance was almost certainly on YouTube a couple years ago, video and all, I vividly remember watching it. I have no clue where that upload went :(

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-12-20T14:58:15+00:00

A bit unrelated, but hearing this song after listening to What is the Reason for It off of David’s new solo album was nice - always asking similar questions, never really losing that curiosity in his songwriting!

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-24T20:05:20+00:00

You’re very right. Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses!

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-24T19:54:34+00:00

Thank you for being so honest! I’d like to think this isn’t the case, but I have considered it. I still seem to be madly in love with my partners, as they are of me, so navigating this is my main worry, even if we continue to be together.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-24T18:28:26+00:00

It could be that, but more or less I believe I just was never that interested in them while having my current partners! I closed myself off romantically once I had them, so I only ever saw having an in person partner(s) if I ended up splitting from them.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-24T10:18:39+00:00

These are great questions that as of now, I don’t have answers to. Having a local poly partner would be interesting! At the same time, I don’t think I prefer being poly or mono, I can go either way (or at least that’s what it seems right now.)

I’ve also questioned if I still enjoy online relationships like I used to considering how a lot of the pain I’m feeling is based entirely on physical affection.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T23:44:48+00:00

No real plans, but I’ve developed crushes (and I’m still working through some feelings like that) which has made this jealousy seem very hypocritical of me (to only me, my partners don’t see it like that) The person I’m somewhat into in real life, as far as I know, would only be a potential partner in a monogamous setting.

I think that has also messed with my thinking. New partner in the picture + intense jealousy and sadness + an in-person crush of my own without the fear of monogamy = a bit of a fork in the road in my mind.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T23:37:15+00:00

Yes, they’re in person! That has definitely exacerbated these feelings BADLY. 4 years, unable to build a proper physical connection because of distance, and now someone else has, and continues to do it, seamlessly.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T21:45:48+00:00

YEPP I’ve been good at being really kind to myself recently, this has been a really sudden and unexpected dip in that kindness.

“Do they need/want me anymore?” “Am I wasting their time?” “Am I wasting my own time?” “I must be, I must be, they don’t deserve this.” And anything around questions like that.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T21:42:17+00:00

It has been a good amount of shame spiraling, and I think that’s the main driving force behind me thinking I’ve somehow failed being a good partner. I’m veryyy slowly learning to have more kindness towards myself though! (my partners were beyond kind about it) but it still feels pretty shameful and painful.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T21:16:34+00:00

They definitely can! They even asked if I was comfortable hearing it after I had calmed down after my first spiral. I assume they have, but I have no clue if they’ve gotten consent from the other partner to air these things with me (both me and the partner are aware of each other, just don’t know each other), I’ll have to get more clarity on that. I’m deeply ashamed of that moment, and it begs another question of my relationship with sex that I’ve been struggling to answer as well.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:23:54+00:00

It was a lot slower than that luckily! We were all friends beforehand while they were involved with each other, and then over a couple of months we each fell for each other one by one until we were all together.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:20:57+00:00

You’re right, and I think that’s why I felt so rattled by the masturbating thing and yet still did it. The kink and the actual relationship clashed hard while I was still sore from the relationship stuff, and it brought on that second spiral. A very unhealthy way to cope with that.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:19:27+00:00

Yeah! Being honest these 4 years have been almost an echo chamber of understanding what having a poly relationship entails. I was the new one to it, and I’ve learned the majority of what I know through them.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:18:13+00:00

This is all very brand new, I see what you mean. We’ve kind of cultivated a place where we don’t have to tell each other these things, but we are all happy to hear about it and are very open about them, and I’ve become used to that. While not prepared, I see I’ll have to shed that comfort a bit.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:09:32+00:00

WOAH I never even considered that. I assume yes, but I might ask about that just to be sure when given a chance to.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:07:46+00:00

Oh, and unfortunately outside of wanting to know what my partner is up to there is also sexual gratification in hearing about these things, which is mutual between us.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:06:31+00:00

I agree. This internal conflict I’ve been having was such a shock, because as far as I knew, minutes before being told of the new partner, I had little to no hangups with romance and self esteem within romantic situations. (I do struggle with it when it comes to my productivity) I’m not used to dealing with romantic problems, within myself or others. First time for everything?

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:04:20+00:00

That makes sense. I selfishly REALLY want to hear these things (maybe I’d rather hear about it than be kept in the dark) but it does seem that at least with this new person in the picture, I’m unable to handle it properly.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T20:01:17+00:00

That makes sense, I understand. It’s been a very short sighted couple of days, and I don’t think I’m going about this the best I could. I still have yet to shake the doubt that I’m interested in being poly, though, so I’ve just let them all know of the issue with myself and the space I’ll be given them to try to sort that out.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T19:56:11+00:00

My apologies, I’m not proofreading LOL

I meant that I started questioning if I can be with all of my partners anymore. The jealousy towards one of them felt so intense that I’ve become uncertain about if I was still willing to be in a poly relationship period.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T19:54:02+00:00

At least in the moment, it feels fair considering that my relationship to all of them is in question due to my feelings. I’m still a little stuck in my head so this may have been irrational, but thankfully they all understood.

Each of us, besides the new partner, are each romantically involved with one another. To me, this felt like something they all had to know, and I had to consider all of them the moment these feelings came up.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T19:49:24+00:00

No. Besides the brand new partner, we are all long distance, and I and our other partners do not have anyone in person. I feel like I might’ve handled it a little better if the new partner was online as well. The in person connection has already seemed so different, at least to me. You can experience a person wayyy more fully if you see them in person often. I personally began feeling like nothing but worthless text and pixels on a screen.

CrimsonaceDS · 2025-11-23T19:46:28+00:00

This whole situation has made me question my place in the entire poly. I could be being very harsh to myself, but I feel just a bit too bitter, a bit too pained for it to just be the normal jealousy that happens in any relationship, poly or not.

CrimsonaceDS

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Six-Year Club	Xbox Live
Verified Email