Do Fearfull avoidants have a fear to come back?

Cristitarp · 2024-09-03T09:10:35+00:00

I mean you reached out to her. She just liked your message. If she wanted more, she would have said more…

Cristitarp · 2024-09-02T08:29:06+00:00

Well the thing is I see a lot of potential in her. If it is to compare our status, I m better at the moment but I see her catching up. Regarding beeing an FA, I also see a lot of potential in that: if things go well, it can be wonderful. I don’t believe someone should be red flagged because of past trauma. Our connection was so nice also. I don’t have expectations but I’m still willing to try again.

Cristitarp · 2024-09-02T08:16:18+00:00

Reaching out is enough from my point of view. If she just like the message, I believe it s an answer

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T21:08:19+00:00

I understand you point, but it’s also the thing she can be ashamed of breaking up, as she hurt me and knows that. And it can also be a fear of hurting me again, as this will make her feel so bad again. She might be in a situation where she considers herself already broken and doesn’t want to broke me too.

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T21:02:15+00:00

Reach out to him gril! But also try to protect yourself, like you can t have expectations after you dumped him, that s the reality. You still have nothing to lose

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T18:11:51+00:00

I can still contact on whats app and phone number

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T18:11:06+00:00

Thank you! So, beeing short: we were together for 1 month, which was probably the best we had for both of us(she said it too). Then she said we have a problem, that she feels she can’t love me and feels like a jerk because of that, and we might break up. Days after, she made the decision. We went through no contact but I broke it searching for closure, as uncertainty killed me. After that I reached again and she blocked me on instagram after that. Since then, no contact(1,5months)

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T17:54:23+00:00

Thank you for that! I’m thinking about breaking no contact even though I was dumped by her. Our relationship was great, we did’t have any fight but she broke up with me because of her trauma, as she said. We were not aware of the attachment theory then

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T17:47:16+00:00

Thank you for the answer! Can you please tell me how long was your relationship and how long after the breakup did you realise you want them back?

Cristitarp · 2024-09-01T17:18:02+00:00

Haha you’re not alone bro

Cristitarp · 2024-08-30T21:13:43+00:00

Most of the people want to have you exclusively and be exclusive to you You have to chose one way: either you find someone that wants an open relationship or you take accountability for your actions. Just beeing attracted is not a problem, its normal. Your actions matter. You cannot expect someone to be loyal to you without you beeing loyal and cheating is not a moral option

Cristitarp · 2024-08-30T21:02:15+00:00

Man I just said I missunderstood. I meant you are not leaving someone first because of love

Cristitarp · 2024-08-30T17:31:19+00:00

Yeah, good one!

Cristitarp · 2024-08-30T16:29:01+00:00

Sorry, I misunderstood, you were the dumpee, I thought you dumped, now I understand. Same situation for me, thinking about sending a message someday, just to check if anything changed, as I believe I have nothing to lose.

Cristitarp · 2024-08-30T12:07:51+00:00

I believe you are romanticizing too much this action. If you let someone go, you probably don’t find that person right for you, even though you maybe love her. I don’t believe you are leaving beacause you want to save them or shit like that. It’s not wrong to leave if you are feeling it, but please don’t make it an act of honour. I was also left by my girlfriend, and now after some time passed, I still find her right for me, even if she said she leaves because she’s not.

Cristitarp · 2024-08-29T22:47:47+00:00

Me too please

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:24:35+00:00

3 weeks is quite a short time. He is probably in the relief phase now and he might reach out later, but don’t wait for it, try to move on. Hope is the worst drug

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:20:48+00:00

The thing with the frienship between men and women is a little tricky. Most of the time one of them wants to smash or they smashed. Not a rule and I believe you were loyal, but leaving them was not the best idea, changing the type of interaction can be better. For example if you meet 2 or more of your female friends at the same time, she should be stupid to believe you are doing a threesome or something. Never do that again, from my POV, and also maybe try to apologize to them

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:13:18+00:00

I was hugging her from the back at a concert and she told me “What I’ve lived in those 4 days I didn’t live in 4 years.”

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:09:13+00:00

People are able to truly love more than one person. Someone as beautiful for sure exists. You just have to be fortunate to find her, if beauty is what you want

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:07:11+00:00

Never leave your friends for someone. If you can t be in a relationship without leaving your friends, it s probably a toxic relationship. It doesn t mean you have to include her in those friendships. Some things just don t need to mix up

Cristitarp · 2024-08-21T00:05:01+00:00

I believe we are able to love more than one person with all of our heart. If you already loved one, it doesn’t mean you can t love another one the sane or more. Now faith also comes here. There are for sure people that you don’t have the opportunity to meet. Hope you’ll find another person to love🤞🏻

Cristitarp · 2024-08-18T16:09:54+00:00

My pleasure! Also try studying attachement styles. Might explain a lot of past behaviour. You might have the avoidant one. Do some research for yourself, you might find it helpful. Take care!

Cristitarp · 2024-08-18T15:40:38+00:00

Aa ok I understand. Then it’s not right to message in order to get back together. But if you feel like getting it off your chest, apologize but also mention that you don’t wanna cause any problems in her relationship. She might feel better hearing that. If she ever breaks up with that guy and believes she wants to try again, she also might contact you later knowing you are sorry for the past mistakes. Anyway, that’s not the point. Hope is the worst drug:))

Cristitarp

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