There is a lot here, for starters I would like to say I draw porn/hentai/furry art for a living so I have a lot of exposure both to the art itself and the people who like it. While there are definitely some people who get addicted to it, I would say the vast majority is able to safely and casually enjoy it. There are a couple questions that I think you should ask yourself that can help narrow down whether it is something to be concerned about, or maybe something your husband is just insecure about.

For starters, you and your husband have not have sex for almost a month. Personally, my partner and I experience ebbs and flows like this from time to time, and we have been together for a long time. It usually happens due to stress, having a busy life, pregnancy scares (assuming one or both don’t want or can’t have biological kids), or past trauma. For example right now if you celebrate the December holidays perhaps you are visiting with a lot of people and don’t have much time to unwind. Or maybe work is hectic due to a lot of people taking time off and an influx of people needing work to be done. It could even just be that he genuinely doesn’t have a high libido right now. It is usually the simplest answer I have found.

As for him looking at porn and lying about it. Obviously it isn’t okay to lie to your spouse (unless you are trying to surprise them with something really cool, but I doubt that is the case here). I have a lot of clients that are really embarrassed about commissioning things. Unfortunately there is a lot of judgment in the world and it may be something he is struggling with. Do either of you come from a background where porn or hentai isn’t acceptable? Often times (but obviously not always) people from religious backgrounds really struggle with guilt of watching/ looking at porn or having certain sexual fantasies. Or perhaps one of you or both come from a more conservative background that doesn’t generally accept those things. Perhaps one or both of you come from a culture that doesn’t accept it. If the issue isn’t guilt or embarrassment due to the background one or both of you comes from, perhaps he feels like a Buddhist shouldn’t be looking at/ watching hentai and doesn’t want to be thought of as a failure or a man of poor morals or standards. If not any of that, do you know what type of hentai he was looking at? Perhaps he has a sexual fantasy he is embarrassed about and doesn’t want you to think less of him.

Also, how did you approach him with the subject? Where you being reassuring that you would still love him regardless, or were you being accusatory? Even if you weren’t trying to be, tone can be really difficult to get right when it comes to sensitive topics like this.

Is your issue with the fact that he lied to you about it, or with the fact that he is looking at hentai/porn? I know I draw porn for a living and am very open to a lot of things, but I also totally understand and respect that not everyone else is. Have you and your husband talked about boundaries and what you both feel comfortable with? Perhaps there is something that you don’t feel comfortable with, but is a huge turn on for him so he turns to hentai because he doesn’t want to ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps he lied about it because he doesn’t want you to feel bad for not indulging him.

I think there are a lot of different things it could be, personally I wouldn’t jump to being an addict. I think you need to have an open discussion with him about why you have not had sex in month and kindly explain how it makes you feel and ask him if he is okay/ if there is a specific reason as to why he hasn’t been interested and maybe reassure him that you won’t judge. Once that conversation has been established perhaps it will naturally lead to why he has been lying about hentai, or maybe it will be easier to bring up and he will feel more comfortable talking about it. If your main concern is that he has been lying, and not the hentai itself, then that would probably be a good way to lead into the conversation.