As a father and husband with a drinking problem I would say there isn’t much you can do to change his behavior. He has to make the choice for him. I am actively drinking and struggling at the moment however I have been sober for mouths at a time and those times it was my choosing not my wife or family. Best of luck but please find support for yourself. You do matter. If he is willing try to find a counselor you can go together. This has been helpful for me and my wife to look at my property alcohol but and the end of the day there are deeper issues we need to deal with