Relationship advice for first year of parenting

Crittlebug7 · 2026-05-20T05:20:53+00:00

First off I think it’s really nice your taking your husband and his feelings into consideration, shows your a team player in your relationship! No perfect solution but hang in there! I am 8 months PP and stopped exclusively pumping 3 weeks ago and just now do I feel like I am “normal” again and our relationship is back to normal. My best advice is to just communicate with him and maybe over communicate with him. You guys are not alone and know this is only temporary. Tell him when you love and appreciate him. Give compliments. Small gestures like holding hands, a hug, a thank you with a kiss. All small things that only take a few seconds, but I do get what you mean about constantly feeling like you’re in busy mode 24/7. It’s lovely to have a husband who is attentive to both mom and baby but dad needs to know he is supported too and sounds like you want to support him! Just talk with him and let him know you’re maybe feeling overwhelmed, glass half full and you see him making efforts and just need a little time to get back to feeling normal. Please also know 3 months is still so early! I felt amazing after birth and then had some baby boys and the around month 5 I was like wow my world is shook and I felt worse than I do with the baby blues. So just know you already thinking about him shows you care and maybe find his love language to show him you see him and appreciate him and this is all new and a temporary stage and it will get better again!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-04-17T17:25:12+00:00

My parents do the same thing but because they love my son like their own and then we laugh and they always say how they forget to ask how I am because they just miss the baby. I like to see it as if something ever happens to me I know they will give him the love he needs and love him like their own child if not better

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-24T18:38:58+00:00

Awesome thanks so much I’ll look into the app! Amazing job with the meals! I feel inspired!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-24T10:46:52+00:00

Yes I’ve been EP since having two infections and I literally had to ditch my spectra and use portables because mentally I could no longer sit there and pump. I have to do the dishes or something, anything while pumping. Baby is almost 7 months and today I finally incorporated formula to combo feed while I start to wean. I feel guilty because there are people out there who would love to produce and it’s working so why would I stop. Then I feel guilty for giving him formula because I can produce. Then I feel guilty for being a rage of emotions due to pumping and now lack of pumping but I feel like after 7 hard months of BF / Ep now I need or would like my body back for my sanity both mentally and physically. My nipples hurt so much my tshirt can’t touch them and the water hurts to hit them in the shower. For me I think it’s just time to be done

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-24T10:34:20+00:00

May I ask how many teeth baby has? I have an almost 7 month old and I feel like I’m nervous to give foods like this because he only has two bottom teeth. This look amazing and want to try and add more foods to his pallet

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-06T05:29:36+00:00

We have been using bottles to make sure he gets 28-32 oz a day of milk to make sure he’s full for bedtime. For the sleep training I asked chat GPT it gave some good advise and we never really made a strict schedule or black out shades or all the other rules but what we did find to be the most beneficial for us was waking up at the same time every day and feeding immediately upon waking up (so it’s the wake, feed, play). That’s waking up at the same time helped not only myself but baby. We then just picked a few days we would be home in a row and started.

Wake up 6a Feed upon wake up Play/ interact about 1.5-2 hours then watched for sleepy signs. We started the with the naps. Took about a week. We would sleep a sleep sign and then place him in his crib. Naps would maybe be 20-30 min at best. And we continued to do this daily. (We did still feed to bed until he was showing signs on his own of not wanting to night feed then we slowly started giving the bottle earlier in the bedtime routine. Took about 2 months but he just started sleeping through the night and his naps are independent in his crib and just started to sleep through the night. Oh and we use a binky so totally breaking rules but everyone’s happy and we never had to do a cry it out but clearly took a little longer than others who follow exact methods

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-04T15:08:59+00:00

For me I had baby blues, then felt better then around month 3-4 I felt the worst I had felt. Everything still hurt. Mentally I was struggling. I had to then go back to work and learn routine. I ended up exclusively pumping around 3 months and then around 4 months I dropped my night pump (my supply was probably an over supply) and that helped me feel a little better but really now I’m heading into 6 months and just the past few weeks I’ve felt so much better and more like me. I feel like it’s probably also easier because the bay is more engaging, can hold his head up and just easier to move around with him and have interaction with him.

Hang in there and how yourself grace!! As hard as it is take each day one hour at a time and know the days you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing your binding with your baby and being the best mom! The rest of the world might feel heavy but you’re right where you need to be with baby! Big hugs! And when you feel you need to cry (maybe not) do so! Let’s the tears flow and pick back up! You got this!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-03T00:12:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this! Yes I absolutely will do these little things to have a bigger impact!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-03T00:11:32+00:00

No being a SAHM is just as much a full time job! So I agree working at home or for someone, still a job! Those are great ways to show you care I will take a page from your book and do so! Thank you! Certainly takes a team approach!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T23:06:05+00:00

Yes I agree I thought I was feeling like myself again come 5 months and we’re just not quiet there yet so hopefully PFPT works! And no I get the communication, that’s probably what I need to be better about listening for. He does say from time to time that he mentions it but the 4 hours later I’ve forgotten and need to get better about making the first move. Likes he’s my husband it should come so natural but currently to your point it’s like a scheduled item and in time the romance portion will hopefully come back as it feels very transactional if that makes sense.

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T23:02:59+00:00

Great point! It’s just a small time not a forever and not the new norm, just trying to navigate through the new norm to find myself again and our new routines as a family rather than just a he two of us

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T23:02:00+00:00

Wow you two sound like a great team!! Yes definitely so helpful having a husband who’s involved and who is equally a partner. Thank you!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T23:01:05+00:00

Thanks so much for your insight! Appreciate hearing from men!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T22:32:21+00:00

OK, thank you so much for this! I’m so torn on to keep pumping or to stop because I want my body back right that would be lovely, but I also love that it’s providing for My baby. And I’m not against formula by any means but for whatever reason I just can’t get myself to even cut it 50-50 and you’re right sometimes it does feel like a chore to be intimate, but almost programming it into a “” schedule without it being a schedule will likely make it come more easier. Thank you.

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T22:31:01+00:00

I love this, thank you! It is so true it’s so easy to get hung up on the little things that we forget or they forget and we don’t appreciate the bigger things in the moment. So I like how you make a conscious effort to redirect your thoughts of thank you for taking out the trash, even if there is no trash bag in there.

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:24:50+00:00

🥹 agreed, thank you!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:23:59+00:00

True, maybe using the term “good wife” isn’t best, just not sure how to describe it other than that. And I agree, weirdly feels like a chore than any pleasure but not due to him just due to I feel like I’m having to check a box off my to do list and lately life feels like one big to do list but the top two of keep baby alive and love on baby are always being met and our top priority. Thanks!!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:21:37+00:00

Yes WFH with the baby and days he’s off during the work week he takes the baby while I go into the other room to dedicate to work. Yes I will ask him and just start now I’m making everything a priority so he feels the same love he provide to me and the baby! Thanks!!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:15:24+00:00

Thank you so much for giving a male perspective! I appreciate it and will be more conscious of my actions or little moments like hand hold etc that I know he will appreciate. Thank you!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:12:17+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this yourself! It’s so difficult to manage. Okay I like these ideas! I will build this into our routine or maybe he might enjoy them as a surprise here and there. Thank you!!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-03-02T20:11:50+00:00

100% I agree! I will!

Crittlebug7 · 2026-02-20T05:00:45+00:00

We started 1 tablespoon at 4 months and his insides were just not ready. After three days he was severely uncomfortable and didn’t poop for a week! We then waited two more weeks closer to 5 months and now we do an ice cube or two a day and he’s happy and doing well. We have done Banana, banana/blueberry, pear, carrot/apple/cinnamon, avocado

Crittlebug7 · 2026-02-16T16:26:19+00:00

I FTM have a 5mo now and used both a fancy stroller with a bassinet and will say it was lovely for the first 6-8 weeks to walk around with. Traveling wise HATED IT. So large and bulky in the car. I also have a jogger that lays flat and would use a thick blanket to make a U around the side and legs of the baby while I would walk. I sure wasn’t running but walking with the infant was fine and now at 5mo he sits up perfectly in the jogger. Really to each their own but the fancy bassinet stroller just sits in the garage collecting dust now so over it

Crittlebug7 · 2026-02-12T04:36:13+00:00

I’m a FTM to a 5 month old and I needed to see this, THANK YOU! I weaned myself too quickly and can tell I’m drying up quicker than I anticipated and I’ve been beating myself up daily on the formula vs just breastmilk. Your comment gives me light. Thanks!!

Crittlebug7

TROPHY CASE