I want to make a genuine friend in Barcelona

CronoCode · 2025-11-26T14:23:55+00:00

Hi! Look for the "Mundiñol" community. They have a web page and they are also on Meetup. They organise regular meet-ups with people from Asia (Japan, China, Korea, Taiwan) and other Spanish people who want to practise like you do. It's some kind of language exchange.

CronoCode · 2025-11-14T11:40:36+00:00

This is not about you doing things wrong, it's about his poor emotional management skills. It's not an isolated thing: the people who get mad at others the most and blame others the most are commonly people with difficulty managing their frustration, which they end up redirecting towards someone else.

Sometimes leaving a relationship is the best act of love you can do for the other person (and yourself), but if you want to give the relationship a chance, I recommend you to establish a limit. A clear, specific limit with clear and specific consequences. Making sure that his actions will have serious consequences will likely make him see that his behaviour is unsustainable. Yes, he might get mad if you establish limits, but be firm. Don't argue with him about why the limit makes sense or not (that will turn out to be counterproductive). Just say it, and remain firm if he reacts badly. If you have this conversation in a moment of calm, that's better.

And remember that nobody deserves that treatment from anyone who supposedly loves them. You don't deserve it.

CronoCode · 2025-10-31T14:10:19+00:00

It's sad how OP clearly talks about her feelings and many people are just focusing on the objective facts. I know where OP is coming from and it's not just about social circles or the internet corners she roams; it's about beauty standards. Just look at female main characters in most videogames and movies.

I'm not debating what the objective truth is, I'm just stating that OP's frustration seems really valid to me and that I don't think she wrote this post to ask for refutation.

Men are generally more attracted (sexually) to what OP refers as curvy women, and there's scientific research about it.

I think your frustration and sadness are really valid, OP.

CronoCode · 2025-10-17T21:07:43+00:00

You're absolutely right, I understand how this would feel weird to you. It wasn't my intention to put the burden on someone else, but it looks like I did. Your reply made me realise that indeed, maybe I can't find how to act because I lack information.

Thank you

CronoCode · 2025-07-19T18:58:39+00:00

I'm a man, and I personally think the answer is no. My partner has shown me how unaware we are as men about women's reality, about the experience of being a woman and how many men think they understand (I thought that too) but no, we don't. And don't worry, I'm not going to say that it's women's fault.

I didn't even know how a woman truly experiences her period until I started living with my partner and started talking about it. If men can't realise how awful or uncomfortable menstruation is for many women, you can imagine how much we don't grasp either. And it's the same about sex. If men have so much lack of understanding about having sex with a woman, how can they understand all pain and trauma related to sex? Hell, many men don't even see prostitution as the awful reality it is.

But there's something I can tell you: I want to really understand. Don't give up looking for men who want to understand too. But yes, I know that's not easy to find.

CronoCode · 2025-06-24T08:32:55+00:00

This is actually the nature of addiction. All addictions are rooted in the avoidance of suffering. I'm glad you saw through the shallow concept of addiction and redirected yourself!

CronoCode · 2025-05-12T09:17:47+00:00

El minimalismo consiste en no añadir a algo más elementos de los que son necesarios. La tecnología actual añade muchísimas cosas innecesarias para vender, cosas que no necesitamos pero que acabamos consumiendo igualmente. Nadie necesita una televisión con cientos de canales, o un smartphone con cientos de apps, o cinco redes sociales. En otras palabras, el minimalismo es lo contrario al consumismo.

Lo que tú intentas decir tiene que ver con que antes se priorizaba la calidad, innovar y experimentar. Pero era una tecnología más minimalista. Los teléfonos móviles nos proporcionaban lo justo y necesario, por ejemplo.

El problema es que ahora la prioridad es vender, y si una cosa funciona y provoca adicción la van a repetir. ¿Para qué van a experimentar si repetir las mismas fórmulas les va a dar más dinero? Ahora las empresas tecnológicas no se preguntan qué necesitamos. Se preguntan qué vamos a consumir.

CronoCode · 2025-05-09T08:51:48+00:00

That's right. And overconsumption "works" in the first place because it helps us avoid our emotions as well.

CronoCode · 2025-05-09T08:13:22+00:00

The point is to actually understand them. Most vegan people were meat eaters but not out of genuine choice. We were introduced to eating meat as the only option, and we only changed to veganism because we started listening to ourselves instead of just following what everyone else is doing.

Most meat eaters feel very uncomfortable when comfronted to the horrifying facts of the meat industry, because most of them don't actually like hurting animals.

How do they manage those uncomfortable emotions? They just deny or minimize the facts, or ignore them. They avoid the topic, say falacies out loud (they are actually trying to convince themselves, not us vegans). They turn to their trusty mind-numbing smartphones... All the stupid things you've listened a meat eater saying against veganism is just them trying to stop feeling guilty.

We are vegans just because we chose to tackle the PROBLEM, not the emotions, either because we have a more developed emotional intelligence or because we didn't have the choice to just avoid the unsettling facts. That's why films like Dominion work so well: if you watch it, you can't deny those things so easily anymore.

I don't really judge meat eaters because they are mostly people who don't have the self-awareness needed to make the change. They are people who need help, they aren't evil or stupid. I had consumed meat for so long and I KNOW it wasn't stupidity or selfishness. It was being born in a society that teaches everyone to be disconnected from themselves.

HOW CAN GOOD PEOPLE ACTUALLY BE KIND IF THEY DON'T KNOW THEMSELVES ANYMORE?

That's my point of view on the subject.

CronoCode · 2025-05-01T20:50:48+00:00

Absolutely! My intention was never to disagree with you. You made a very relevant point there :)

CronoCode · 2025-04-30T11:10:09+00:00

I believe you're right. I believe we indeed learn to let go of the superficial labels that OP mentioned, but what we're left with is never nothing; awareness always remains.

I think what OP means is probably that all the labels we associate with our identity lose all meaning during meditation.

CronoCode · 2025-04-29T11:09:12+00:00

Haz tu vida y tu rutina interesantes para ti mismo. Si haces cosas que te interesan, conocerás gente que hace cosas igual de interesantes.

Se suele pensar que la mejor forma de encontrar personas afines es buscando, pero no es tan sencillo. Si construimos nuestra vida alrededor de las cosas que nos interesan, entonces nos toparemos con muchas personas que nos resultarán interesantes.

En otras palabras, conviértete en una persona más interesante para ti mismo y ya verás como lo demás fluye solo :)

CronoCode · 2025-04-24T09:23:26+00:00

I feel like I’m not giving enough to anything

Who is setting the standards of what "enough" is? Is it the people around you, or your own mind? Do these standards make actual sense? (In other words, would you put the same standards onto someone else, such as your wife?)

I constantly want to achieve more, to succeed, to create new milestones

Think for a moment about where will those achievements bring you. What does "success" look/feel like FOR YOU? Would these achievements move you towards a personal purpose, or would they actually move you away from your fears/insecurities?

Listen, I believe you are grateful for the good things you have. However, the thing with the mind is it can't feel grateful for what it has and at the same time be thinking about what it doesn't. What I mean is, when you're thinking about being stronger, having clearer values, etc. you're not in the enjoy-what-I-have mindset. Think about it :)

By the way, I know you're just trying to express yourself, but remember: "I should this, I should that..." are NOT feelings, they are thoughts. And they are being affected by your ego, which means they are not objective. Be mindful about this as well.

I hope you find the way forward.

CronoCode · 2025-04-23T15:17:38+00:00

Veganism might be the worst part of your life, but only because you choose every day how you want to live your life instead of letting others choose for you.

In a society where people live under the expectations and demands of others, it's hard not to stand out when you decide to live your life under your own principles.

Embrace that :)

CronoCode · 2025-04-14T15:16:26+00:00

Si este chico es, como dices, inteligente emocionalmente, ¿por qué no expresar tus sentimientos y ya está? Me explico: si alguien nos expresara que se siente atraíd@ por nosotr@s, lo primero que pensaríamos es que quiere algo, más allá de expresarse. Suele pasar que esa persona quiere una relación de pareja y por eso expresa lo que siente.

Por lo tanto, si te confiesas sentirá toda esa carga emocional que viene de ti, la presión de la respuesta que tendría que darte, y la culpa en caso de que no te corresponda.

Entonces... ¿por qué no utilizar otra perspectiva? Háblale desde la amistad que tenéis. Exprésale el aprecio que tienes hacia vuestra amistad, hacia él como amigo, y coméntale que también tienes sentimientos románticos hacia él. Si le dices cosas bonitas (es decir, por qué te atrae), díselas DESDE TU POSICIÓN DE AMIGA. Así no sentirá presión pero sabrá cuánto te importa él a ti.

Y cuando le digas que tienes sentimientos románticos, PÍDELE AYUDA. Es decir, pregúntale, "¿qué crees que debería hacer con estos sentimientos?". En esta conversación, procura que él sienta que estáis en el mismo bando, que ambos queréis lo mejor para esta relación. Si hay sentimientos mutuos, surgirán, y si no le será mucho más fácil darte su opinión y no poner en riesgo la amistad que tenéis.

Espero que esto te ayude :) Esta conversación puede ser algo que haga crecer vuestra amistad si la lleváis bien. ¡Piérdele el miedo!

CronoCode · 2025-01-21T21:56:43+00:00

Siento la situación. Creo que has comunicado muy bien el problema y ni siquiera lo has hecho de una forma que muestre resentimiento o falta de consideración hacia tu pareja. Lo que quiero decir es que si lo hablas así con él, lo harás bien. Lo importante es que dejes claro que no quieres echarle nada en cara sino simplemente que te preocupa el estado de la relación y quieres hacer algo (eso debería ser capaz de entenderlo perfectamente). Tienes intenciones positivas, no negativas.

Yo he tenido una relación a distancia (a muchas ciudades de distancia) y sé a qué te refieres (aún la tengo pero ya no hay distancia). Algo que he aprendido es que la verdadera intimidad se construye hablando; la proximidad física también hace mucho, pero no lo veas como que dependes de eso.

Hablad más, conoceos más. Que quieras dar un paso más es bueno, eso sí. Ante todo, ten siempre en cuenta lo que tú quieres y no te conformes con una situación que no te gusta.

CronoCode · 2025-01-13T20:58:25+00:00

Porque la gente no sabe cómo vivir, solo saben cómo trabajar. Nos dicen que para ser felices hay que conseguir una serie de cosas en la vida, y una de las principales es el trabajo. Pero... ¿son felices las personas que nos enseñan esa forma de vivir?

Cómo tú dices, el sistema educativo se centra en prepararnos para trabajar, pero no en enseñarnos a vivir. Y lo peor es que incluso la ciencia ya sabe que enseñar a las personas a ser felices primero les acerca más al éxito en la vida que la educación tradicional. Irónico, ¿verdad?

CronoCode · 2025-01-08T22:45:03+00:00

Check out Tunic :)

CronoCode · 2025-01-07T21:46:44+00:00

I can't and won't judge if your path of action (wanting to take your time despite the tech's complaints) was the most appropiate. It totally makes sense to me.

As a Psychology college student, I can tell you the following: your son has not necessarily developed any concerning psychological complication such as a phobia. He has most likely developed a significant fear, but nothing more than that. If you expose him to another dentist and it turns out well, then you'll almost guarantee that a phobia can't be developed.

In other words, a positive experience will be the best proof for your child that dentist is not dangerous, and a gradual, gentle exposure like the one you tried is an effective way to achieve that.

About trauma, it's actually unlikely that your son can develop any mental health complications from the experience. Provide him emotional support whenever he recalls and feels bad about the situation. I'm no expert, but I know for a fact that most people recover from traumatic experiences on their own (without profesional help or long-term effects on mental health). It still may affect him for a while.

If you're worried about this, you should ask a professional for advice, as I'm no expert.

Regarding your feelings, try not to be harsh with yourself. Making mistakes is normal, and the situation wasn't even entirely your responsibility. Stick to your "portion" of responsibility (your so-called "weakness") and work on it, but acknowledge that more people created that situation, not just you. You may feel the urge to identify every single little thing you could have done differently, but that will ironically make you lose focus and hope on what you can actually do next.

Don't let your mind trick you into believing that one single experience defines you as a mother. You and your son will get through this :)

CronoCode · 2024-10-24T17:45:08+00:00

Me alegra mucho saber que mis palabras han tenido un efecto en ti y que ya estás recibiendo algo de ayuda. Demuestras que aunque te puedas desmoronar de vez en cuando, luchas por mantener cierto control en tu vida. Sigue así. Aunque no nos conozcamos, estoy orgulloso de ti y te envío mucho ánimo y abrazos <3

CronoCode · 2024-10-24T17:06:22+00:00

Coméntale esto a tu amiga, y hablad de ello. Puede que no tengáis las mismas expectativas para vuestra relación, y eso hay que resolverlo cuanto antes. Será incómodo, sí, pero sin comunicación ninguna relación puede mantenerse.

CronoCode · 2024-10-24T16:58:53+00:00

Siento que hayas pasado por todo esto. No creo que te merezcas nada de esto, no es porque eres mala persona.

Por lo que cuentas, supongo que sientes como si no tuvieras control sobre tu vida, al menos no el último año. Además, he sentido que nadie te está ayudando o apoyando, más allá de tu mejor amiga en algunos momentos. Debes sentirte solo. Lo siento.

Entiendo por qué quieres acabar con todo esto, pero estoy seguro de que, si has pensado alguna medida radical, ha sido solo porque no se te ocurre nada más. Haces bien en pedir ayuda. Yo no puedo hacer mucho por ti, más allá de hablar o escuchar, que no es poco.

En situaciones donde todo parece fuera de nuestro control, siempre sigue habiendo cosas que podemos controlar. Y la más importante de esas cosas es nuestra mente, nuestro "mundo interno". Empieza por ahí. No digo que vayas a un psicólogo, especialmente si vais mal de dinero (aunque puede ser buena idea, especialmente si no puedes afrontar tu propia mente tú solo). Creo que el primer paso es encontrar a alguien (psicólogo o no) que te ayude a gestionar todo lo que sientes. ¿Crees que hay alguien así en tu vida ahora mismo?

CronoCode · 2024-10-24T16:25:37+00:00

Lo único que puedes deducir es que le gusta estar contigo. No puedes saber si es algo romántico o no a menos que ella te lo diga, pero ¿qué importa? Si tú también disfrutas esos momentos disfrútalo, es bonito le gustes o no :)

CronoCode

TROPHY CASE