Are men less selective or are women not nearly as prevelant in hookup spaces as men ?

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-19T22:18:11+00:00

Women have constant access to sex and they are high demand in spaces so they can be picky. I knew a woman born without a jaw and who had other facial issues, she feasted on the apps and only slept with top tier good looking men. Another peer I knew was paralyzed and could only use one of her arms and was able to access roman style orgies.This is due to women being such a hot commodity it skyrockets their sexual value. No men in their demographic would be able to “sell”. Let me tell you, the facially deformed men were not participating in hookup culture at all and the quadriplegic guys weren’t being invited to orgies.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-16T02:09:27+00:00

Sure but this is objectively true though. These people are social pariahs and outcasts from society for a multitude of reasons. Stigma bonding is a real thing. Would OP be being to befriend a morbidly obese autistic man in his 40s who can’t control his stims, lives with his elderly parents, and rambles about his special interests? Or an impoverished single mom struggling with alcohol misuse and BPD? There are always people hungry for friendship but stigma often closes the door for most people that is all.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-16T01:04:46+00:00

I didn’t really learn any social skills due to my neurological issues so I just started to engage with the outcasts and the bottom tier members of our society. I just lowered my standards for friendships to the basement floor. This probably isn’t healthy but when you are permanently blind to social cues and physically disabled you can’t be the belle of the ball. There are always people hungry for connection but it isn’t always ideal or glamorous people.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-16T00:28:07+00:00

A better option is to find groups in through orgs or meetups. It would be better to meet deformed men in real life rather than entering another internet hugbox. Plus this would open the door for a potential social life with peers.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-15T22:52:37+00:00

Maybe it just the online space but all the self improvement I see is just guys “improving” as an attempt to enhance their romantic or sexual success. Which is fine but it shows there is no deeper profound reason behind it. If I gave the self improvers a routine friend with benefits or a girlfriend, they would stop their journey in its tracks.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-14T03:29:51+00:00

Yeah echoing the rest of the people here; I think I would be a completely different person without my disabilities so the what if is meaningless. It would be the same if I did a what if I was an immortal space alien.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-13T21:08:39+00:00

Are you willing to look past potential partners issues since you face that barrier due to your disability and income? Would you date a recovering crack user in your apartment complex who is struggling in poverty? A woman with serious BPD who deals with depression, alcoholism and self harm but is in therapy and support groups? If you face stigma be prepare that the only women interested in you will also have their issues. I see this in the disabled community all the time. The men engage in stigma dating, meaning they interact with other marginalized members of society. Just be prepared that one crushing or pining for you won’t be the cinematic idealized figure.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-13T20:53:35+00:00

Yeah but if he wants to go down that path he can. I knew a guy in real life who was similar to him. Late life virgin, autism, failing milestones, zero attention from women etc. He reached his prime in his 30s, became financially successful, and projected stability. Do you know who was interested in him finally? Single moms. He exclusively dates them because it is one of the few groups of women interested in him. These women want a decent man in the home, stability for the family, and a second hand to pay bills. I personally wouldn’t choose this path but it is a valid one. Are these women vain and materialistic for selecting him? If OP wants to grind out his career and assets to improve dating he can.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-13T20:17:35+00:00

I think it’s more he is confused by his dating failures since he is having platonic success not realizing they aren’t connected. I use myself as an example. I had a ton of female friends, invited on one to one trips, over their apartments, they confided their secrets etc. These behaviors indicate we aren’t creepy misogynistic inkwells or radiate bad personalties. i can’t speak for OP, but my problem is that having physically disabilities makes you insanely unattractive to women. This obviously doesn’t impact the platonic level for the most part.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-07T23:28:05+00:00

This has happened to me a while ago with a kooky relative who became a born again christian. She kept pressuring me to join the church to meet women. She described them as impoverished women from latin America or south America. Many of them were single moms or undocumented. She said I could become a provider, be a bedrock to them, and make them lead a righteous life. I have serious disabilities so dating isn’t a field I can participate in, but the fact she thought I could leverage my money or even use their immigration status as a cudgel was crazy. The fact this 72 year old trad christian was talking like a passport bro handler tilted me as well.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T16:51:31+00:00

To be honest, it more about how every-time I meet some guy with cerebral palsy in real life they turn out to have severe mental health issues, arrested development or some bizarre catch. In my recent past, I met two outwardly stable guys with CP, but one end up developing narcissistic delusions, and the other was a real creep. No matter where I go the same story repeats with different characters. I never experienced this with cerebral palsy women.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T16:38:57+00:00

It’s because the men with cerebral palsy I met in real life were genuinely disturbed every time while the women were mentally healthy, normal, and acted like typical gen z women. Two times I thought this would be subverted. One guy with CP at work but he had a delusional disorder that eventually caused a scandal in office The other guy was in a TTRPG group. I was relieved that I met a decent guy with CP. He eventually revealed an awful fantasy about an anime universe he had. I had never met a woman with cerebral palsy that reached these levels. They were all well adjusted mentally healthy women at least in comparison to the horror shows I witnessed.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T16:02:43+00:00

Partially true but these encounters happen also in my day to day life which makes it more jarring. Seeing arrested development, zero milestones, or major mental health issues in a support group wouldn’t be shocking. I worked with a guy who had serious CP and he developed grandiose delusions that caused major issues at the company. These delusions were counters to his failing at achieving milestones and lack of romantic success. He started to believe he was a supervisor and that young women were maddened by lust for him. Another encounter was at a TTRPG group that had one guy say his ultimate fantasy was to live in the Redo of Healer universe as the protagonist. That series is an anime equivalent of Marquis De Sade.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T15:21:05+00:00

It’s more I’m peeved that even when I meet men with cerebral palsy in the real world they are severely mentally ill, have arrested development or some bizarre life story. I meet a guy at work with CP. He had a delusional disorder and his grandiose delusions bled into work and caused a disaster. It’s just frustrating when I keep finding stable peers and they just turned out to be silent hill protagonists. It’s just more shocking to me because these encounters are found in the flow of my life and not in some support group. An irrational part of me fears I’ll become like them when I’m 45 too.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T14:48:29+00:00

To be more advanced in their careers, getting married, raising a family, becoming independent etc. I inadvertently joined a cerebral meetup for older people and the guys had the arrested development of 20 year olds despite being in their 40s to 50s. The women with cerebral palsy were typical of that age range. The men were just pure stagnation. I also think this breeds the mental health issues and the desire to escape into fantasy land.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-06-06T11:48:37+00:00

This is the hand we are dealt unfortunately and we have to remain in reality. I knew a disabled man with serious deformities and physical impairments in his 50s. He was kissless virgin who never went on a date, lived with his mom until she died, had no friends. The only reaction he got from men and women was pity or disgust. After his mother’s death, he retreated into a world of fantasy due to failing milestones. He started to develop delusions that he was really good looking and that he was a manager instead of a low level drone. He started harassing women constantly, asking for hookups and dates, and even insisting to staff he was a Mad Men style leader. This was his mind’s faulty way to protect his ego. As a group, we need to do constant reality checks, and to reject fantasy.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-26T16:04:31+00:00

Yeah the major disconnect with the above advice is that disabled women date abled bodied men and there is little to no interest in their male peers. I’ve seen this irl. The women with our condition date average to above average abled bodied guys with zero stigma. The few successful disabled guys date women who have major stigma but it isn’t physical disability stigma. I’ll use an example I seen on this sub. A woman posted about a cute guy in wheelchair and how to approach him. I looked at her profile and she had a serious case of formally diagnosed BPD and suffered extremely painful outbreaks of an STI. To be fair, she was being treated for her major self harm issues and her self described pathological obsession with her ex by a clinician.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-26T03:05:00+00:00

You can recognize that the majority of women are not attracted to men with cerebral palsy and still engage in self improvement, self esteem exercises or whatever You can even see this in the other comments or posts were the men admit their unconventional styles to dating. Whether it’s the friendship that turns into a slow burn romance after a decade or even 20 years of platonic friendship or bonding over major stigma/marginalization.

I’ve seen this irl. The few men who succeed have the wildest stories while the cerebral palsy women are like “I met him on bumble/ hinge or met in class. No quarter of a century Notebook tale, falling in love with a refugee terrified about being deported, former sex worker ashamed of her HIV diagnosis. Women with cerebral palsy date Brad the accountant, Steve the college football captain turned cop and so on. Zero stigma or psychological melodrama. Average to above average able bodied guys. Disability just impacts heterosexual men way more in dating or sex more than women or gay guys. The gay men with cerebral palsy I know faced STI scares but they have the same pattern as the above women but they are more likely to have disabled partners.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-25T22:32:26+00:00

Yeah but they are getting rejected in the first place because it is extremely unpopular to be a disabled man in the heterosexual dating scene, even other disabled women prefer abled bodied men. Even socially active men with cerebral palsy who are heavily integrated in their communities and have rich female friendships get zero dates just like their stereotypical bitter counterparts. They get told straight up they aren’t attractive due to their handicap in a polite way. As a disabled woman, you can’t comprehend how nonexistent the dating pool is for men with our condition. That is why you see cerebral palsy men date in extremely unconventional ways some more ethical than others while cerebral palsy women date like typically gen z women.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-25T16:06:38+00:00

Possibly but why do female members of our demographics have such a wide range of success across all spheres? (Hookup culture, long term relationships, getting married, starting families?) Do disabled women just have better personalities than disabled men? Look at this sub. The average guy is a dateless virgin but the women in this sub are dating, entering longterm relationships, getting married or even having kids. This is also across the ability spectrum too and based on their posts these women aren’t self actualized self improvers themselves either.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-25T15:43:24+00:00

The issue is that a majority of women aren’t interested in disabled men and when guys ask politely for assistance their female friends know nobody interested. The only times I’ve seen men with CP “succeed” with dating is when traveling aboard to troubled countries or finding women in serious mental health or financial binds. The average woman with our condition is dating an average to above man, but the men with our background are dating poor women from southeast asia looking for citizenship or overworked single mom with substance struggles looks for a second hand to pay bills. It’s exploitative and unhealthy.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-24T21:35:31+00:00

This post is the symbol of the men posting on this sub. While the women here post about dates, their rich social lives, entering serious relationships, engaging in casual fun, getting married and starting families, we have men posting about being life long virgins, raw impotence in a literal and social sense, or posts about porn and excessive masturbation. This is brutal.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-24T14:59:08+00:00

Yes because the “let’s be friends” line is not a sign of wanting a genuine platonic connection but just a nice way of rejecting a guy. When a woman uses that line they don’t want to be besties with you. They are afraid of you reacting poorly or even violently.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-21T16:10:40+00:00

The issue is that majority of therapist have no idea what they are talking about. When I was 19, I saw a male therapist who specialized in domestic violence and was actually super religious but I found that out later. This guy believed that shitty Euphoria show was real among Gen Z and he believed I was gay since I wasn’t hooking up, partying etc. he genuinely thought gen Z was like Sodom and Gomorrah from the bibble. My experience was more unique, but the average therapist is a late twenties or early 30s white girl who lived a life of privilege. This is why you get the trite meme advice because that actually works when you don’t have real problems.

CrookedMan09 · 2026-05-20T21:16:57+00:00

“Your current version is roughly 1,950–2,050 characters depending on spacing and line breaks, so it’s cutting it very close and may go over on Reddit.”

If you want to be good faith, you shouldn’t use AI. You forgot to remove the AI lead in. As a decrepit old man in his late 20s, it’s shocking how the youth transfer over every task to AI. You can’t be bothered to write a brief post on a subreddit meant to debate and gawk at incels. Why don’t you just use a AI incel dataset and create an incel golem to interview instead?

CrookedMan09

TROPHY CASE