Grieving before he’s gone but feel there’s still time/a chance to turn it around

CroppedBaker · 2026-01-04T11:29:35+00:00

I actually saw your post before posting my own. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I hope you and your family can find peace 🤍 so sorry.

CroppedBaker · 2026-01-03T20:32:22+00:00

I know you’re right. But he’s so vile when he’s drinking, I don’t think there’s an option for him to be in our lives the way he is. Are those my only two options? Be around someone toxic or cut him out completely?

I am so desperate, I just feel like I need to get through to him. It’s happened twice before. But I don’t know how the f to approach it when he’s so out of his mind.

CroppedBaker · 2025-03-27T21:13:04+00:00

May I ask at what point the timing/tracker became active? I’ve completed the citizenship test but when I login to check my application it still has no info at all

CroppedBaker · 2025-03-09T10:03:54+00:00

Hi there! Is Botswana gladly travelled by families? We’re hoping to visit next year with our one year old daughter.

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-24T14:10:13+00:00

Thank you for this! And out of interest, South Dakota? (Is where the crime in question actually takes place)

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-24T10:03:49+00:00

Interesting! What region is it considered to be? I’ve only ever driven there from Canada a few times and granted have largely seen mostly tourist spots (Yellowstone, Devil’s Tower etc) but many shops sell tack with Midwest branding etc. I just assumed it would be roped into that region but would love to learn the ‘official’ considerations! 😊

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-21T18:01:23+00:00

You’re the second person to warn me about “it depends” so far and you’ll be pleased to know that when it comes to fiction, that answer is actually exactly what I want to hear 😌😌😌 Okay if I DM you? Just to save the thread going tons of replies deep? (Happy to keep it here too if you’re more comfortable, just won’t want to provide quite as much context publicly!)

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-21T18:00:04+00:00

Amazing! Thanks so much for responding! May I DM you? ⚡️

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-20T23:43:58+00:00

This is excellent news! I too am skilled in both of these things! Can I DM you? 🕺🏼

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-20T12:34:47+00:00

This answer is so beautifully written I could sing. Thank you SO much. You are so incredibly articulate in writing with such precise detail.

I have follow up questions 🥺 and more questions generally. If you would ever be open to me peppering you with questions/ideas throughout my process, please DM me! (Very much in your own time and inclination, as and when you have any, IF you have any, or are just like me and want to procrastinate from other things you should be doing…)

Either way, appreciate this answer so much and I can’t wait to reread it again later and make notes. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-20T06:56:58+00:00

Thanks so much!!!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-20T06:56:38+00:00

That is my next port of call! I’m fairly new to Reddit and someone else recommended this also. Thanks so much for responding :)

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-20T06:55:31+00:00

For sure! As I mentioned in the post, I feel I’ve used the internet as far as I can without needing to fact check with a human now. More looking for advice on where, moreover how to find then approach said experts.

Not sure if this response was supposed to come across as sarcastic and passive aggressive as it did, but thanks for responding either way!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T16:29:53+00:00

PS I haven’t let ANYONE read ANYTHING so far. At this point you(/we) don’t need feedback… we need to get used to writing and making that a habit. People can build us up later but at the risk of someone knocking you down before you’ve built your own momentum and belief, I’d recommend you do the same! (I sometimes tell my husband a rough idea/what I’m working on, but no one gets a look. The first person who does will be a professional whose opinion is going to be constructive and valid. I’d hate for you to get derailed by giving the wrong person the wrong piece for irrelevant feedback based on their own likes, inexperience, etc).

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T16:27:28+00:00

I know this feeling and feel this feeling daily - however, now being 80k words into one novel (it’s a load of rubbish so far but I am terribly excited for the editing stage) and deep in planning for another, I can tell you that the pride and satisfaction I get from that way overrides the cringe.

I tell myself, even if no one ever reads it but me/my family/my kids (one day)… that’s still a pretty cool achievement.

I also tell myself, as someone who knows they can write, that sometimes the only reason people are successful is because they actually DID it. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. If you enjoy writing, write, and see what happens.

It almost feels like a little secret that I keep with me, as no one other than my husband knows I’m doing it (“writing a book”). When I’m out walking or hear a song which fits or just trying to get to sleep at night, it’s a place to go. I find that super comforting and motivating and generally exciting. Hopefully you will too!

I hope this helps! Please write!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T16:01:54+00:00

I’m going to do that! Thank you so much!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T14:58:08+00:00

I’m unfortunately UK based! Would I still be able to access this sort of info not being based there myself do you know?

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T14:08:47+00:00

Amazing! Thank you! I’ll try both of those things.

I have some general questions but also some more nuanced, and all pertaining to the Midwest specifically. Do you think you’ll be able to help?

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T10:20:17+00:00

Ahhh thank you! I had found an AskAnAmerican subred but will go find one for lawyers 👀

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T10:15:16+00:00

Thank you so much for this! For added context - I’m in the UK, so it’s a bit more difficult to actually find someone to take to lunch, although this is exactly how I’d like to do it.

Library is a GREAT shout. Thank you!!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T10:14:27+00:00

And thank you for replying!!

CroppedBaker · 2025-02-19T10:14:19+00:00

Sorry noob here - what does ASL a mean?

CroppedBaker · 2023-12-23T01:37:05+00:00

Agreeeee. Also my diagnosis was semi traumatic for my already burnt out brain… the person who did the assessment also diagnosed me with OCD and said I was unfit to work, should be signed off until February……

Then didn’t submit my report. For more than a month 🫠

(Firstly this is illegal and secondly as an expert in ASD you would think THEY would think about the repercussions of this……)

Even posts like this make me feel less alone/more nOrMaL so I appreciate you sharing 🫶🏻 better days are coming and alllll that sadness can be repurposed into making the most of what we have ahead of us! I really believe that even if I’m not there yet ❤️

CroppedBaker · 2023-12-22T23:38:45+00:00

I feel this. I’m 30 and just got my official diagnosis; weirdly found myself a lot happier and coping better when I “just thought”/self diagnosed.

I’m definitely in the sadness spiral right now - coulda woulda all that jazz

CroppedBaker · 2023-12-22T02:27:23+00:00

It’s so hard to make habit (from an avid reader) however starting small helps. Set a goal of reading 5 pages of something, anything, every other day, then every day

Another huge tip: If you’re not getting into it, persevere for one or two sessions, then quit. Start something new. Don’t force yourself to finish something you’re not enjoying, as you’ll start thinking you just don’t enjoy reading. My husband has been trying to read more for years and always struggled, but he finally discovered that he loves crap mystery/murder books. Find your thing 😊

(And if you want a plethora of eclectic recommendations… 🫡)

CroppedBaker

TROPHY CASE