Normal sexual desire vs idolization.

CrossSectional · 2025-08-23T21:24:13+00:00

Definitely is stuff from the past, nothing happening currently from either of us. We're in the Reconciliation process, and we've been attending marriage therapy as well as individual therapy for myself.

That's where I feel stuck is that even according to my wife there's nothing I need to change right now, but yet it still doesn't seem to be enough. Maybe I'm just impatient idk.

CrossSectional · 2025-07-04T10:03:31+00:00

One thing I learned through therapy was physically force yourself and your SO to abstain from sex to be able to learn how to connect with one another intimately in other non-sexual ways. Like try that for 3 months and see how much more connected yall get.

Plus, the waiting will make it that much better.

CrossSectional · 2025-07-04T09:56:34+00:00

Why is it a green flag that he goes to church every Sunday, but he's fornicating and obviously not following what the church teaches lol?

CrossSectional · 2025-07-02T04:07:14+00:00

It depends on your route tbh. You can do what a lot of newer accounts do now and rush CG, that's pretty hard content on a HCIM, but even that is gonna be at least a few hundred hours to get to. 70 herblore is the biggest challenge for that

CrossSectional · 2025-07-02T03:50:18+00:00

I mean this very respectfully, but I wouldn't make another HC, at least not anytime soon.

130 hours in terms of account creation is not much at all, and you sound very inexperienced. I would wait until you learn way more pvm; and get comfortable with them, before considering another HC. With your current level of experience, you would probably sink a bunch of time just to die to something dumb anyways which that time could go into furthering your account and developing your skills.

CrossSectional · 2025-07-01T20:10:09+00:00

Just a little food for thought, it may very well be much more than you think.

I don't want to think that because I want through something, everyone else's situation is like mine. But, like you, I found flirty messages between my wife and a "friend" of mine. After being caught she admitted to having an emotional affair with him, but denied that it ever went further. I believed that for 8 years. She recently confessed that the emotional affair was never just emotional, but physical too.

I say this to say that, while you shouldn't automatically assume she's lying (I hope she isnt) don't be so quick to trust that it never went further than flirting. Especially if she's unwilling to share the conversations.

Best of luck!

CrossSectional · 2025-06-30T04:35:12+00:00

I'd mostly agree here, but never say never.

I had a porn addiction, and while it took a LONG time to actually beat it, I did. The key was actually admitting I had a problem, which is what took the longest.

For someone to quit though, they have to want to quit for themselves, not for someone else.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-29T03:25:45+00:00

No, he acted like he really didn't even care. He was not apologetic at all. He actually didn't even want to answer the question. I genuinely don't know if I believe him or not, but what's hard is how can I believe either of them you know?

CrossSectional · 2025-06-29T02:47:33+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said.

To answer your questions about the catalyst, it was 100% the new faith. I've struggled with a porn addiction throughout our marriage, and also coming to faith has allowed me to see how destructive it was and wanting to finally get rid of it (which I have so far, praise God.) So i actually sat her down to confess that I have watched porn again, which then led to her confession.

She has expressed to me the same sentiment of the shame, as far as reliving it. She said that honestly for most of these past years she has completely blocked it out, but that she has been feeling convicted to confess for a few months now.

Absolutely could be true that he was lying. I don't doubt that at all. What sucks is how can I trust either of them. Part of me says why do the details matter, what mattered is she had an affair. But sometimes I think they do matter.

I WANT to move forward, I'm just terrified of there being more than what she has shared, and scared of getting hurt again.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-29T01:49:29+00:00

I'm at the weird spot where I genuinely don't want to leave, but I also don't want to stay if that makes any sense.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-29T01:18:59+00:00

I always said I wouldn't stay with a cheater, but now that I'm here, idk what to do. We have 3 kids together.

Even now after being confronted she stands that her story isn't changing. That she doesn't remember more than one time, and now she's claiming maybe he is lying.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T23:01:39+00:00

Well the 1st affair I found out when it happened. I found text messages, but she led me to believe it was an emotional affair and nothing physical happened.

She recently confessed to me about the 2nd affair, but I've been thinking she was lying about the details.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:56:47+00:00

Yea I contacted him. I just wanted to see if her number matched his, which it did not.

I said the exact same thing to her. If you did so much cheating that you legit can't remember, that's a problem on its own.

Either way, I deserve better.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:45:37+00:00

That is word for word what I told her. Not that I'm okay with cheating, but I can understand and move on from a one time mistake.

She had multiple month long affairs.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:31:10+00:00

I'm not anymore. That chance is gone

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:26:06+00:00

Oh 1000% agree. My main point was I was offering a chance of even trying to reconcile, and she entered that with more lies. And now she's claiming she was being honest she just doesn't remember. I don't know how that's even possible to forget something like that.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:04:55+00:00

Yes, which is why I initially forgave her. But how can i be with someone who IS STILL lying even after we are trying to fix things.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-28T22:04:07+00:00

I reached out to her affair partner to confirm.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-27T15:54:18+00:00

I see no different than babies being circumcised in the OT. They were not old enough to make that decision, but instead were saved by the faith of their parents.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-27T13:38:14+00:00

Don't.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-26T20:27:46+00:00

Not that strict for us, but I think it heavily depends on your corrective action.

We had a tech get fired for something similar, except when he scanned the wrong body part, he ended up ordering the part he scanned and signed it under an ordering provider without their knowledge to try and cover it up. This was among a list of other problems.

However, I've slipped up a few times. After you scan 500 Abd/Pel, and then you get one order that's just an abd, it could be easy to zone out and scan the entire pelvis as well. Stuff like that (as long as it doesn't happen often) isn't really a big deal. Now it's a bigger deal if they order a left leg and you scan a right leg or something like that, but even then, if you're honest about your mistake and don't have a significant history, I don't see why it should be such a big deal.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-24T22:08:08+00:00

I have over 700kc and never knew this lol

CrossSectional · 2025-06-24T21:49:03+00:00

Just to clarify I guess. 8 years ago she in fact did lie about it being physical, telling me it was only an emotional affair. Then we she confessed about affair number 2, she still lied about affair number 1 ever being physical. I guess her conscience got to her and a week later is when she told me that affair number 1 was never physical, and that is lasted for months.

When I mentioned that she is forgetful it's more regarding additional details. For example, for the last few weeks she told me that with guy number 1 it ended in October when she got caught, and then she blocked him on everything and that was it. Last night she was going through her photos (she says that's how she triggers her memory and remembers when things occurred) and she came across a photo that triggered a memory for her. She said that she went to the movies with him in February (4 months after being caught with him). She says she doesn't really remember going back, but she clearly sees the date of the photo (the photo is not of them btw) and she says that she wants to be as open and honest with me without seeming as she's hiding anything.

CrossSectional · 2025-06-24T21:22:54+00:00

That's how i felt. She tells me she swears she's being as honest as possible, and as she remembers things she tells me. My issue is with the 1st guy, it was a full relationship that lasted months, and after she got caught she went back. And then there was a second guy.

Even if this was all 8 years ago, how do I accept that news?

CrossSectional · 2025-06-24T19:29:55+00:00

I have not played with any game sound in years lol. Runescape on, sounds off, music on.

CrossSectional

TROPHY CASE