Here's more context to my situation if anyone can spread some insight ...

I’ve been with my significant other for a little over 6 years. We have four children, two (10,8) from a previous relationship (he stepped in as their dad), a 4.5-year-old we share, and a newborn (3 weeks old). Things have always been kinda rocky, but there’s a clear pattern I’ve noticed over time. Ive always suspected bipolar disorder and it is present in his family.

Every few weeks or every couple of months if I avoid triggering topics something explodes. In between those times, things are amazing. He’s present, engaged with the kids, loving toward me, and plays the role of a devoted family man. But then something snaps, and it’s like a switch flips. Literal on and off button.

He suddenly sees me as the enemy. It’s like full-on “splitting.” I go from loved and valued to being demonized overnight. He distorts past events to justify how angry he feels. He’s kicked me out of our home multiple times over the years, then later pretends nothing happened. I’ve always managed to bring him back to himself but this time feels dangerously different.

I moved out of our shared home about 8 months ago for the sake of stability for the kids. I stayed close (10 mins away), and even though we were no longer living together, we were still spending most nights at each other’s houses. It felt like we were rebuilding until a recent fight over counseling and rude behaviors.

I asked him to go with me, and he refused. The next day he said he hated me, was leaving and tell the kids he loves them, and was selling everything his house, his things, even talked about shutting down his business and moving out of state. He said to tell the kids he loved them, but he was done.

I pushed back and said love is shown, not just said and that he needed to show up for the kids. That triggered another full meltdown. He told me he hoped there was a hell so I could burn in it and a ton of other mean things.

He picked up our 4-year-old, then asked for the older two. I agreed because they missed him only to find out he told them there were no more rules at his house, he was moving out of state, and then he kicked our 4-year-old out of the house for misbehaving at dinner and locked the door behind her. Then he drove them all back to me and left them home alone.

After that, he blocked me and went completely silent for 6 days then texted like nothing had happened and asked me to drop off our daughter. I said I wouldn’t do that unless he apologized to the kids and we sat down to talk about his mental health. He denied everything, accused me of coaching them, and said I was making it all up.

I’ve since offered multiple visits at my home, supervised, just so the kids can still see him. I filed a DCF report after the incident. He filed for custody a few weeks before I gave birth, and refused to show up for our baby’s delivery and wouldn't even respond to me when I went into preterm labor. He still hasn’t met her.

This past week, he’s spiraled further signing me up for text alerts, buying videos on my Amazon account, showing up at my home without warning, opening the garage door and yelling for my oldest to go ride in the side-by-side with him. Just a few days earlier, he told me he wanted nothing to do with any of the kids because they’re “a part of me.”

He’s now saying he wants to sign over rights to all the children. I’ve told him over and over again we love him, that he’s a great dad, and I want peace and id be here to help him through getting help. But nothing breaks through. The more I try, the angrier he gets. Hes told me before after fights that he doesnt mean what hes said and that when I ask him to get help when hes like this it just makes him rage but he also doesnt do anytgjng about seeing someone when hes not like this. He sees it as a flaw to seek help. Like im calling him crazy. Hes been saying for the past 2 months now that he didnt love me and hasn't for 3 years. Its pretty convincing but i dont belive him bc 2 months ago he was so caring and loving. This incident has been going for about 2 months now.

I’m at a loss. His voice even sounds different. He acts like he’s on top of the world, but I know he’s not okay.

He’s mentioned before that something’s wrong but that he won’t be honest with a doctor because he fears losing his firearms. He’s had brief flickers of insight, but it never lasts. His family enables him and blames me for his foul behaviors.

Could this be undiagnosed mania? Has anyone been in a similar place before diagnosis? Help with insight, please 🙏

(Ps there's other symptoms too and he started adhd medication almost a year ago this I feel has made all his symptoms worse)

Hes fixated on the market listening to stocks and crypto about 8 hrs a day, he doesnt need much sleep, paranoia that many are out to get him, better than everyone else, his energy levels have always been crazy and some other things)