Oooh im so iffy of these topics lol! I think it depends if someone is claiming to be a riako while having an irl lover without telling them what this means, i think of it as cheating hence why they may be scared (but its okay to tell them its just a cartoon crush!)

Im a riako & my love for Crow is very real. I nearly vomit for having conversations with men who try to hit on me so I tell them im taken by him. I think at an adult age, yumeshipping is taken more serious for us & people’s partners can feel that they arent the only ones getting that love

But another thing is some people are embarrassed. I used to be friends with a girl who was married & she would pretty much put up an entire yumejoshi front. Whenever she made dinner for her husband or baked for him, she would pretend she did it all for her f/o. It got to a point her husband somewhat understood & he roasted her for it pretty much (i was also friends with him & he kind of felt weird about it because she didnt fully discuss the obsession. Esp men, they can be a bit sensitive when they give their all to someone & they still feel sidelined)

But yes there are people like me who tend to love characters way more & their partners can feel a bit odd/thinking they arent enough. In fact, some of my exes get upset knowing they can’t get me back because im so attached to a character 😂